# Not allowed in Alcoholics Anonymous **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489 "2014-04-06T17:48:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sandysue44](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@sandysue44](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandysue44)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/1 "2014-04-06T17:48:34Z")
I went to an AA group for the first time in over ten years yesterday. At one time I had a problem with abusing alcohol which destroyed my life. I am 60 now and I very rarely even think of drinking alcohol. If I do, it is maybe a single can of Foster’s Beer or a glass of wine and I really don’t even want to. I see people who are obsessed with it and I hate being around them. When I went to a meeting after being asked about my drinking I told them that I don’t want to be the way I was but now I rarely drink and it had been about three weeks since I had a drink. I said I had wine at my son’s wedding. I was told that I could not join because I was looking for an excuse to drink. I believe that AA is a cult and the woman leader recognized that she could not control me. I asked here don’t you always say 'Once and alcoholic always and alcoholic and you are never recovered you are always in recovery? I don’t think they liked the fact I don’t have an issue with alcohol anymore and they can’t get me to do what their cult wants me to do-that is make me dependent on them.:dubious: I think I must be the first person to be turned down for membership. I know their motto is the only reason for membership is a desire to stop drinking which I do. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/2 "2014-04-06T18:01:44Z")
A.A. has a method of controlling alcohol addiction. The method involves abstinence from alcohol. If I ever have to join, I’ll keep in mind that stipulation. If you can control it another way, that’s awesome! I’ve known people that were welcomed back to A.A. after falling off the wagon, and they start again. It’s not like a vow has been violated. But if your intention is to quit -for the most part, except on special occasions- then I believe A.A. just isn’t for you. Good luck, I respect what you are doing. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/3 "2014-04-06T18:03:14Z")
So you you’re not an alcoholic anymore, but you’re complaining because an AA group (supposedly) won’t let you “join” them? IMHO you need something entirely different. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/4 "2014-04-06T18:06:31Z")
I once got kicked out of a cancer support group, just because I don’t have cancer, or know anyone who does. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/5 "2014-04-06T18:14:45Z")
You went to “a” group? That one sounds goofy. But more like one person spouted off. No “one” person speaks for AA Bet there is another group close by. Might try it. If you are disruptive, talking over people, causing yelling fights, etc., you might be asked to find a different group. Or to just shut up for a while. If you don’t have a problem now, why do you want to go to AA? AA has not changed in 10 years. If you don’t remember the points made in this thread already, I seriously wonder how many meetings or different meetings you went to. I’m 70 and coming up on 23 years clean & sober. So what does your age have to do with it? Hang tough and I hope you find what you need. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/6 "2014-04-06T18:15:36Z")
_Why_ would you want to go to AA if you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic or even have a problem with alcohol? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/7 "2014-04-06T18:15:42Z")
for the good of the group they have a zero tolerance rule to “controlled drinking”. the 12 steps have a lot of pros and cons and if you dont fit you will be happier staying away. i am. i dont believe in god or a higher power, at all. i miss the camaraderie of the group but not their rigid dogmatic thinking. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/8 "2014-04-06T18:15:57Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I once got kicked out of a cancer support group, just because I don’t have cancer, or know anyone who does. Now that is a fussy group… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/9 "2014-04-06T18:26:10Z")
I have known a variety of people in AA who were still drinkiing. This group is either nutty or you tried to argue in favor of limited drinking. Aside from being disruptive with that argument it makes no sense to ban you from meetings. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/10 "2014-04-06T18:27:41Z")
I was active in AA for about 7 years. I have continued to go to occassional meetings and more often stop by the local AA clubs just for coffee and a visit. I have a lot of respect for the seriousness of the disease even though I fully realize that a lot of problem drinkers may not truly be alcoholic and it is possible for them to resume some level of drinking. These type of drinkers are welcome to attend AA but in good concious should claim no sobriety date. If you do not identify as an alcoholic you may attend meetings but not speak or share. I support this. ``` In the past few years I have had a few drinks at dinners or weddings etc, never more than one, if I have no intention of stopping this then I realy should not be sharing. ``` ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/11 "2014-04-06T18:28:27Z")
> [@sandysue44](#): > > I know their motto is the only reason for membership is a desire to stop drinking which I do. You’d think so, but Alcoholics™ can be a really weird bunch. Most people I’ve known who went to AA say you have to shop around for a group that feels comfortable. Their motto should be “a desire to stop drinking and a desire to hang around with weirdos you’d never associate with otherwise.” ---
**Author:** ![ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisUsernameIsForbidden)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/12 "2014-04-06T18:32:27Z")
That’s too bad. Go to a different group and report back to us. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/13 "2014-04-06T18:38:50Z")
You want free cookies and coffee and listen to sad stories? Damned if I can think of why you want to be a member at all. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/14 "2014-04-06T19:05:45Z")
Free cookies? They’d kick me out too. “We have to lock up now. No, you can’t sit here in the dark until all the cookies are gone. Just take them with you. And don’t come back.” ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/15 "2014-04-06T19:15:09Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > _Why_ would you want to go to AA if you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic or even have a problem with alcohol? 😕 That was my question. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/16 "2014-04-06T19:33:57Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > _Why_ would you want to go to AA if you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic or even have a problem with alcohol? 😕 Did you read the OP? She “doesn’t want to be the way she was.” Seems like a good enough reason to me. The rest is probably none of your business. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/17 "2014-04-06T19:35:12Z")
What kind of AA meeting requires joining and membership? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/18 "2014-04-06T19:40:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > _Why_ would you want to go to AA if you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic or even have a problem with alcohol? 😕 > [@PunditLisa](#): > > That was my question. This may not apply to the OP, but many people attend AA as a requirement to avoid heavy sentencing for DUI and other alcohol related crime. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/19 "2014-04-06T19:58:33Z")
The issue the OP seems to be having is that AA is in her opinion a “cult”. I don’t see how a quasi-religious organization without a leader or money or goods or services changing hands is a “cult” of any sort, but there are some psychologists who provide paid for addiction services who very much think that AA is some sort of “cult” that doesn’t help people. This has been a topic on [Salon.com](http://Salon.com) for the past few weeks. [Salon.com](http://Salon.com) seems to be trolling for clicks with this position. I’ve never met anyone who beat addiction with only therapy. I’ve met many who’ve beat addiction with AA, commitment and desire. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489/20 "2014-04-06T20:44:34Z")
I’m not sure why you’d want to join AA if you thinks its a cult. And it doesn’t sound to me like you want to give up being a social drinker - you just don’t want to end up in a place where drinking is a problem. AA isn’t a place for people who drink socially. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-allowed-in-alcoholics-anonymous/685489.md?page=2)