# Not bedbugs. What the fuck are they? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 2, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937 "2009-03-02T00:15:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/1 "2009-03-02T00:15:52Z")
Whenever my g/f sleeps over she wakes with welts, welts I tells 'ya. They aren’t bedbugs or spiders because I don’t have this problem and we’ve never seen any. Also, my baby daughter doesn’t show any signs of bites. She doesn’t have this problem at home, she thinks. Are they mutant dust mites? Allergy to me? WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/2 "2009-03-02T00:21:57Z")
Allergy to your laundry detergent or fabric softener, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/3 "2009-03-02T00:41:43Z")
Odds are that Broomstick is right and she’s allergic to something you use in the laundry. Either that or you’re clawing her in your sleep. Seriously, wash your sheets a couple of times in a seriously non-allergenic detergent, no fabric softener, no dryer sheets. Arm&Hammer used to make a product that was free of all dyes and perfumes. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/4 "2009-03-02T00:53:06Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > Odds are that Broomstick is right and she’s allergic to something you use in the laundry. Either that or you’re clawing her in your sleep. > > Seriously, wash your sheets a couple of times in a seriously non-allergenic detergent, no fabric softener, no dryer sheets. Arm&Hammer used to make a product that was free of all dyes and perfumes. And if you’re not sure what’s a good nonallergenic detergent, just use whatever she uses. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/5 "2009-03-02T02:27:17Z")
We’re currently battling a mite infestation. Do you have any small pets in the house like hamsters or birds? They can harbor them. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/6 "2009-03-02T02:36:16Z")
Proud (or sad) to say, she does my laundry, so it isn’t that. I have a snake, but she’s free of pests. I was thinking an allergy to dust mites, but wouldn’t they be in her bed too? Along with all other furniture? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/7 "2009-03-02T03:12:00Z")
She does your laundry with HER detergent/dryer sheets, or she does it with your detergent/dryer sheets? ---
**Author:** ![tygre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@tygre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tygre)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/8 "2009-03-02T03:52:56Z")
Detergent/fabric softener was the first thing that came to my mind. My ex battled welts like that for years without realizing that his habit of buying super-scented detergents and fabric softeners was the cause. He switched (after I prodded him to do so) and bam, decent skin. All makes a “free” detergent – it works well. Arm and Hammer’s Free version is good too. Skip fabric softener, it’s a scam anyways, and Bounce makes a scent-free dryer sheet. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/9 "2009-03-02T04:11:45Z")
It could be bedbugs. You might just not be allergic to the bites. When we had bedbugs, my wife never had a single welt. A doctor can easily tell whether it is insect bites or allergic rash. However, if it is bites, they cannot tell what is biting. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/10 "2009-03-02T04:14:47Z")
Girl cooties. They can turn on their hosts without warning. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/11 "2009-03-02T04:29:59Z")
Could it be fleas? Those suckers can be hard to spot. When we brought Dumbshit the Cat home from the pound it was several weeks before I made the connection between the little welts on my ankles and the cat’s incessant scratching. Maybe they could sense that I was about to see them, so they were jumping out of the way. Fleas can do that, yanno. See right into your soul. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/12 "2009-03-02T06:06:39Z")
> [@Wheeljack](#): > > Could it be fleas? Those suckers can be hard to spot. When we brought Dumbshit the Cat home from the pound it was several weeks before I made the connection between the little welts on my ankles and the cat’s incessant scratching. Maybe they could sense that I was about to see them, so they were jumping out of the way. > > Fleas can do that, yanno. See right into your soul. Hilarious 😃 ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/13 "2009-03-02T09:11:20Z")
> [@Wheeljack](#): > > Could it be fleas? Those suckers can be hard to spot. When we brought Dumbshit the Cat home from the pound it was several weeks before I made the connection between the little welts on my ankles and the cat’s incessant scratching. Maybe they could sense that I was about to see them, so they were jumping out of the way. > > Fleas can do that, yanno. See right into your soul. LOL! That’s great…Dumbshit the Cat. But it’s the cat peering into your soul. The fleas are just Dumbshit’s evil minions sent to cause you untold anguish. Kill the fleas and free yourself of Dumbshit’s dominion. At least until Dumbshit realizes he/she can dominate you some other way, like licking your eyelids at 4 a.m… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/14 "2009-03-02T14:50:16Z")
When I was in college, I had a cat that brought fleas into the house. I was aware of them, but they never bit my roommate, so he didn’t even know we had them. Then he got a girlfriend who stayed over, and they ate her alive. He couldn’t figure out what was going on. ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/15 "2009-03-02T16:25:47Z")
We had a bedbug scare recently; I kept waking up with mysterious bites (never any for my husband though, guess I’m just tastier). turned out to be fleas from a couple of raccoons who had moved in under the house. We evicted them, scattered a little kennel dust in the baseboards, and all is well. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/16 "2009-03-02T22:41:52Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Girl cooties. They can turn on their hosts without warning. _snicker_ She uses the same detergent on all the clothes, so it itsn’t that. The welts are anywhere in size from a dime to a quarter. Think of a mosquito or hornet sting. I’ve never seen a bedbug, and believe me I’ve looked. A guy upstairs had bedbugs last fall, but the whole building was professionally done at the time and we were given the all clear. The only other thing I can think of is spider bites. Oh, and it isn’t fleas, no pets other than my snake are allowed. ---
**Author:** ![dactylic\_hexameter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@dactylic\_hexameter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dactylic_hexameter)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/17 "2009-03-02T23:50:05Z")
Does she get the welts under her clothes? If she normally sleeps nekkid, do an experiment. Have her put on a pair of pajama pants and a short sleeve shirt when she goes to bed. If she gets welts on her chest or thighs, it’s probably bugs (which can crawl under the clothing. If only on the exposed skin, it’s something with your sheets or mattress. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/18 "2009-03-03T08:40:28Z")
It could be bedbugs. I ran into the little bloodsuckers on a long weekend in the Virgin Islands. They did not bother my husband at all but feasted on me. I didn’t know what was happening until after we came home though, and by that time the welts were the size of quarters. I did some research and learned that the incidence of bedbugs is on the rise. Have you gotten up in the middle of the night, after the lights were off for a couple of hours and when your gf is there (as she appears to be the main attraction) and shown a flashlight on your sheets or turned on a bright light? I’ve heard that’s the way you find them because they can hide in tiny little nooks and crannies during the daytime. I’ve also heard that if you look at the sheets in the morning and see tiny little dots of blood, that’s also an indication of bedbugs. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/19 "2009-03-03T11:35:48Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > I’ve never seen a bedbug, and believe me I’ve looked. I had them for months before actually finding one. > [@](#): > > A guy upstairs had bedbugs last fall, but the whole building was professionally done at the time and we were given the all clear. We had them exterminated. Then the b-bugs spread to the apartment upstairs. Then _they_ had them exterminated. Then the b-bugs came back down to ours. But, you know, they are probably fleas. “To the guy with a hammer, …” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-bedbugs-what-the-fuck-are-they/487937/20 "2009-03-03T18:45:20Z")
Hotels use UV light in a darkened room to spot bedbugs, but the tiny bloodspots on the sheets are a good indicator. If you have fleas, check out this no-poison flea trap. [http://www.gardensalive.com/article.asp?ai=485](http://www.gardensalive.com/article.asp?ai=485) > [@](#): > > Ahem. Anyway, then I found something that does work: traps. Both Kenny and I tested a very simple and inexpensive store-bought trap made by Victor—the mousetrap people. (They’re on the web at “Victor pest dot com”.) It’s a five-inch high dome about the size of a dinner plate that looks like a little spaceship, with a nightlight bulb in the ceiling and replaceable sticky sheets that fit in the bottom. [http://www.victorpest.com/fleahome.htm](http://www.victorpest.com/fleahome.htm). The results were amazing—once all the other lights in the room were turned off, the fleas could not wait to jump to their doom! After an initial week-long surge, we changed the trap paper and only caught a few more. But I knew there were eggs that would soon hatch, so we left the traps out and a few weeks later a second wave hurled themselves to their doom. We replaced those sheets and so far the new ones are still flea-free. As are our ankles. > > The design is simple; it’s easy to make your own if you like. Just suspend a seven to 25 watt bulb overtop of a flea death trap—like a pan of soapy water or a sheet of sticky paper and turn off all other sources of light. The fleas jump right to their doom. ETA: The furry snake food you buy may be bringing in little bitey passengers.