# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/381 "2009-12-26T09:56:09Z")
**Jung Guns** - When his mentor is dissed by Dr. Sigmund Freud, a grad-student (dubbed _Billy the Id_ by his enemies) rallies a posse in his defense. Rated R - _for excessive cigar smoking, bed wetting, & impure thoughts of mother._ ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/382 "2009-12-26T18:46:46Z")
Cider House Rules: 1. You don’t talk about the Cider House. 2. No poofters. 3. You must change your name to Bruce. 4. There is no rule 4. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/383 "2009-12-28T17:10:36Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Bob and Ted and Carol and Alice: > Swinging couples are all the rage in Wonderland. Shouldn’t that be “Carroll?” Anyhow, **Backdraft to the Future** : Marty has to go back in time to keep his dad from opening the front door. **All That Jizz** : Bob Fosse’s been very…busy. **Phlegm:** The kids at The New York High School of Performing Arts all come down with a very productive cough. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/384 "2009-12-28T22:23:14Z")
The Fanatic Four: They never give up. The Frenetic Four: AfterdrinkingtoomuchcoffeeataradioactiveStarbucksfourhumansfightcrime24hoursadaysevendaysaweek. Filmedinultrahighspeed. The Fabulous Four: They fight crime and they look good doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/385 "2009-12-29T01:23:11Z")
**The Vinyl Conflict:** An argument over his record collection causes the Antichrist to start the apocalypse early. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/386 "2009-12-29T02:30:43Z")
_Avatarnation_ - Hillbilly aliens resist the Earthmen’s attempt to shut down their moonshine business. _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids Are Alright_ - Wild West outlaws and a British rock group decide to release an album together. _Don’t Took Now_ - An unhappy couple in Venice gets fleeing glimpses of a less-than-brilliant Hobbit. _The Man Who Would Be King of Hearts_ - A Scottish soldier inadvertently becomes lord of an Afghan asylum. _Silent Shill_ - The uncharacteristically mute ghost of Billy Mays wanders through an accursed, fog-cloaked town. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2009, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/387 "2009-12-29T08:03:34Z")
**Kiko’s Deliverance Service:** A cute Japanese girl delivers a parcel to the backwoods. As all copies were seized by the government, further description is unavailable. perhaps this is for the best. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/388 "2009-12-30T00:28:39Z")
Previous: Nicholas Cage has a mysterious power that allows him to see two minutes into the past. Oooh Spooky!..spoooooky! Not Knowing: “I’d rather not know.” he said crossing his arms stubbornly. Next Movie: Nicholas Cage has a mysterious power that allows him to star in way too many movies. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/389 "2009-12-30T01:09:23Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Not Knowing: > “I’d rather not know.” he said crossing his arms stubbornly. Double feature, shown with the version of _The Matrix_ where Neo takes the blue pill. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/390 "2009-12-30T01:32:26Z")
**With Eggroll You Get Sex:** A bordello disguised as a Chinese restaurant gains fame for its food when a horny restaurant critic visits. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/391 "2009-12-30T02:59:20Z")
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**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/392 "2009-12-30T14:49:02Z")
**Regarding Henry VIII** : A king discovers that he was a royal jerk. **In the Chorus Line of Fire** : The Radio City Music Hall Rockettes are hired to protect the prez. **James and the Giant Bitch** : Rosie O’Donnell takes a boy on a trip to NYC. **Last of the Mojitos:** Brave settlers must survive frontier wars while contemplating their dwindling supply of rum… ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/393 "2009-12-30T15:34:48Z")
\*\*\*Seven Up \*\*\*- Two detectives probe the disappearance of an affable, but curmeudgeonly old man, and find out how his wife REALLY died. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/394 "2009-12-30T19:34:30Z")
**The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe in Winter.** King Henry II finds a magical passage to another world in the back of his wardrobe at his château in Chinon. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/395 "2009-12-31T19:16:52Z")
Twilight: Nude Moon: Three million teenage girls just fainted. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/396 "2009-12-31T23:38:05Z")
**Somewhere Over Gravity’s Rainbow:** A young girl goes on a strange journey after a V2 hits her house. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/397 "2010-01-07T23:33:05Z")
**Cloverfield of Dreams:** A man builds a replica of NYC only to have it destroyed by a monster ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/398 "2010-01-08T18:54:41Z")
Frank and Stein: Mad scientist builds comedy duo out of spare parts Bloomsday: Action/adventure interpretation of James Joyce’s Ulysses. “Three quarks for Muster Mark.” Arnold muttered with satisfaction as he surveyed the wreckage. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/399 "2010-01-08T20:35:37Z")
**Hysterectomy, New York** - Philip Seymour Hoffmann as a MacArthur genius grant winner who builds a miniature world and chooses hysterectomies as subject material to make the film moderately less enjoyable than _Synechdoche, New York_. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/400 "2010-01-08T21:20:22Z")
**The Missouri Breakers:** Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando compete to see who’s the baddest break dancer in the Old West **The Terminater:** Everything you always wanted to know about the line thart separates day from night. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=21)