# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/421 "2010-01-14T16:33:46Z")
> [@wedgehed](#): > > **Star Track** - an intrepid band of 19th century astronomers boldly go on a 5 year stargazing mission aboard the the steam locomotive _Enterprise_. [Guess](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFkx-uEsw1g) [what!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h28lYW6jng4)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/422 "2010-01-14T18:13:10Z")
**Bull Dunham:** A woozle named Peanut tries to make it in the minor leagues. **Jacobs Bladder:** A traumatized vet gets the piss scared out of him. **My Dinner With Andy Dick** : The John Lovitz story. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/423 "2010-01-14T19:55:17Z")
I know its been done before but I enjoyed: My Dinner with Andre The Giant: Pretty much describes the movie. Tuesdays with Moriarity: Heart warming picture of one man’s relationship with a dying villain. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/424 "2010-01-14T21:46:19Z")
**It Might Get Lewd:** Famous pornographers get together to discuss their work and do a little “jamming” **Star Truck:** Life aboard a short haul space freighter. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/425 "2010-01-14T21:50:42Z")
**Lady and the Trump** ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/426 "2010-01-14T22:07:10Z")
**Star Track Lighting.** Famous film actors remodel their light fixtures. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/427 "2010-01-15T18:56:14Z")
My Andre The Giant: Billy Crystal becomes Andre’s manager. Andre The Iron Giant: Little boy becomes friends with giant robotic Andre. They Might Be Andre The Giant: George C Scott thinks he’s Andre. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/428 "2010-01-15T21:51:24Z")
**Slumdogma Millionaire:** A fallen angel wins an Indian gameshow. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/429 "2010-01-15T23:33:51Z")
\*\*Swatchmen \*\*: A seemingly normal Summer Showcase on HG turns into a fight for survival when Carter Oosterhouse, Frank Fontana, and Antonio Ballatore pick out paint colors and Antonio’s partner Angelo Surmelis reveals himself to be Lex Luthor. It becomes three against one when the battle to redesign a worn out kitchen is waylaid in order to save the entire world from Angelo’s plan to control everyone with paint that contains kryptonite. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/430 "2010-01-15T23:55:51Z")
**Last Tango In Paris Hilton:** An old fat guy shacks up with a ditzy starlet. Rated R for revulsion. Once you have seen it you cannot unsee it. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/431 "2010-01-16T04:14:02Z")
**The Borgfather;** We will make Starfleet an offer they can’t refuse, resistance is futile! **Being John Zoidberg;** Now Zoidberg is the popular one! **An Inconvenient Tooth;** Al Gore’s latest documentary about his trip to the dentist and subsequent root canal surgery, complete with mind-numbingly boring PowerPoint slides, no novocaine is needed for the audience… Or; Al Gore becomes fixated and obsessed with oral hygiene, and wants to make sure all Americans are brushing and flossing three times a day… **Crazy Harry Potter and the Crate of Dynamite;** a magically insane muppet discovers he has the Wizardly powers to make stuff blow up without using actual explosives, just his handy Magical Plunger Box ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/432 "2010-01-21T19:38:31Z")
**Dynamite Napoleons** : A bakery starts selling some really awesome creme-filled pastries. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/433 "2010-01-21T20:00:53Z")
_My Dinner with Flambee_ - A pretentious conversation is interrupted by a kitchen fire. _Tup in the Air_ - Stressed businessman joins the Mile High Club. _Fatman Forever_ - John Goodman gives up and really lets himself go. _Swatchmen_ - Distracted by stylish Swiss timepieces, superheroes fail to avert World War III. _Fett Lag_ - An interstellar bounty hunter and a beautiful French woman fall in love. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/434 "2010-01-21T20:18:46Z")
The Hunk: After being bombarded by gamma rays nerdy Bruce Banner is transformed into Fabio. He decides not to seek a cure. Done: Experimental movie by David Lynch. World’s shortest movie. The League of Ordinary Gentlemen: Seven average people who you never heard of band together and have boring parties. Ocean’s 5,000,000: In the year Five Million Danny Ocean is revived and recruits the entire population of Baltimore in his latest scheme. Running time 5 million hours. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/435 "2010-01-21T20:21:17Z")
_Masturbating Bear_ Written and directed by Conan O’Brien, produced by NBC Studios. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/436 "2010-01-22T12:51:56Z")
**The Book of Ellie Mae** – In a post-apocalyptic world, the Clampett daughter makes her way back to the Ozarks with the family Bible, beating up malefactors with the help of her “critters” ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/437 "2010-01-22T16:56:36Z")
**American Me, Myself and Irene -** A police officer goes mental, develops a split personality and ends up becoming his own prison bitch after murdering his ex-wife. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/438 "2010-01-22T17:52:09Z")
**Chitty Chitty Gang Bang:** A bunch of folks go around the world in the back of a car. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/439 "2010-01-22T18:51:00Z")
\*\*\*My Fair Lady Sings the Blues Brothers of the Head of State of Grace - \*\*\*Something for everybody! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/440 "2010-01-23T18:21:28Z")
It’s Stayin’ Alive: Demonic child becomes disco star. Lard of the Rings: Lardo Baggins goes on a quest to eat at every Dunkin’ Donuts in the world. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=23)