# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/461 "2010-02-09T01:01:23Z")
Me and Orson Wells: An in depth look at bad grammar. Narrated by the ghost of Orson Wells. Me and Orson’s Well: “I’m here to fix your well, Orson.” M. E. and Orson Wells: “Subject: George Orson Wells. Gender: male. Age at time of death: 70. Let us begin:…” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/462 "2010-02-09T12:54:00Z")
**Rain, Man** : an hour and a half of two stoners watching a thunderstorm. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/463 "2010-02-09T14:35:08Z")
_Rainmen_ - A prolonged Nebraska drought brings a crew of rainmaking con men to town. _Blue Polyester_ - A curious small-town teen falls for a beautiful but tackily-dressed woman. _The Polar Local_ - Imaginary train carries children to visit Santa, but only after stopping in 42 different U.S. and Canadian cities along the way. _Let the Wright One In_ - A bullied Swedish boy must choose between Orville and Wilbur. _Job Interview with the Vampire_ - “Where do you see yourself in 200 years, Mr. Smith?” ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/464 "2010-02-09T18:56:44Z")
Bang the Drumline Slowly - This may be pron and out in your stores already… ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/465 "2010-02-09T21:17:32Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Let The Right Stuff In** : A bullied swedish boy is befriended by astronauts. I would totally go see that. > [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Rain, Man** : an hour and a half of two stoners watching a thunderstorm. So… It’s pretty much _Heart Beeps_? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/466 "2010-02-10T13:10:13Z")
**Klingon In the Rain** : Famous for Donald O’Connors comedy number, _Make 'em Scream_. **Mama M.I.A**.: Chuck Norris must rescue Abba from The Hanoi Hilton. **Bambo: First Blood:** A young deer goes back to the forest to take out the hunter who killed his mother. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/467 "2010-02-10T14:20:06Z")
_Let the Light One In_ - A bullied Swedish boy suffers from cacomorphobia. _Let the Bright One In_ - A bullied Swedish boy becomes a consultant to the University of Stockholm. _Let the “Cite?” One In_ - A bullied Swedish boy finds acceptance on the SDMB. _Let the Tight One In_ - A bullied Swedish boy serves as a casting director for a Gothenburg porn studio. _Let the Fight Club In_ - A bullied Swedish boy… well, I can’t talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/468 "2010-02-10T17:22:19Z")
Ninja Stroll: Jubei goes on a long walk. Nothing happens. or Jubei is determined to go on a long walk no matter what! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/469 "2010-02-10T19:57:01Z")
**The Man With the Golden Bun:** An embittered pastry chef becomes an international assassin. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/470 "2010-02-10T20:00:28Z")
**The Wolfman Jack:** A man is bitten by a supernatural creature and turns into a 1960s disk jockey when the moon is full. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/471 "2010-02-11T19:37:58Z")
The Magnificent Se7en: Seven serial killers get together to kill everyone in a small town. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/472 "2010-02-12T13:24:19Z")
**Romancing the Stoner** : Mike and Catherine have to flatter the druggie who knows where the McGuffin is located. **A Simple Plan 9:** murder and money, all poorly shot and scripted. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/473 "2010-02-12T20:45:42Z")
**District Nine from Outer Space:** In a segregated Ghetto, aliens resurrect the dead to put on a musical to reignite a once great director’s career. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/474 "2010-02-12T21:46:57Z")
**Citizen Kane Mutiny on the Bounty** : about a ship… I think. Or was it the one where the outlaw was coming into town and no one would help the sheriff? ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/475 "2010-02-12T22:01:47Z")
**Gone with the Wind in 60 Seconds** - “Frankly my dear, this plot is ridiculous.” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/476 "2010-02-14T18:45:15Z")
Quest For Cameltoe: This X-rated cartoon isn’t for the faint of heart. or A pervert 's dream is to attend every womens gymnastic event. The Fat and the Furious: Heavy people get together on the weekends to see who’s the best whiner. Quest for Camelard: Alton Brown goes in search of this mythical ingredient. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/477 "2010-02-14T18:47:47Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > **Citizen Kane Mutiny on the Bounty** : about a ship.. I think. Or was it the one where the outlaw was coming into town and no one would help the sheriff? “Alright, I know one of you stole my rosebuds.” ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/478 "2010-02-16T13:32:55Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > “Alright, I know one of you stole my rosebuds.” _“Rosebud…Henri…Westminster”_ ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/479 "2010-02-16T13:52:34Z")
**Palien** - A strange & terrifying life-form is discovered on a frozen world & soon infects the body politic. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/480 "2010-02-23T12:35:18Z")
**The Inglorious Case of Benjamin Bastard:** He’s got to kill Hitler before he’s too young! **The Brain That Wouldn’t Die Another Day** : Bond reanimates part of Dr. Goodhead after a car crash. **A Guy Named Joe Vs. the Volcano** : The ghost of a bomber pilot helps a dying hypochondriac learn to enjoy life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=25)