# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/481 "2010-02-23T15:16:00Z")
Car Wars: Luke Skywalker and Beau Solo must rescue Princess Daisy from the evil Sherriff Vader. Car Trek: Boldly driving where no ones driven before. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/482 "2010-02-23T15:28:24Z")
**Ownfall**. Hitler amuses himself by creating a movie parody. **The Sound of Muesli**. Julie Andrews pours some milk on her healthy breakfast cereal, and listens very carefully. **Jurassic Par**. Some dinosaurs play golf quite well. **The Term In A Tor**. A robot has to spend one semester at a school built on the site of an ancient hill. **Loves Tory**. A romantic biopic about David Cameron battlng cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/483 "2010-02-23T16:52:16Z")
_Flan’s Labyrinth_ - A surreal exploration of the wonders of Spanish custard. _A Simple Planet_ - Brothers are driven to murder by the prospect of pillaging a rich world. _The Queens_ - Elizabeth II finds that San Francisco’s nightlife is not at all to her liking. _A Very Short Engagement_ - Britney Spears dazzles in her dramatic breakthrough role as a woman who marries a French soldier on a whim one weekend during World War I, divorcing him by Monday afternoon. _The Black and Tan Cauldron_ - British paramilitary goons seize a magical pot. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/484 "2010-02-23T17:21:37Z")
Forgetting Sarah Palin – A Joe Six Pack plumber, exhausted by overexposure in the media, takes a vacation in Hawaii with unexpected and hilarious results. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/485 "2010-02-23T17:31:35Z")
**The Bridget Jones Dairy** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/486 "2010-02-23T23:11:34Z")
**The Man Who Would Be The King:** A British Soldier in India becomes an Elvispersonator ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/487 "2010-02-23T23:13:27Z")
**Last of the Moe Hiccups:** Three Stooges. Title says it all. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/488 "2010-02-23T23:16:59Z")
**Dances With Wolf Blitzer:** A television reporter goes off to live with the Indians. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/489 "2010-02-24T02:21:26Z")
**The Boys in the Band from Brazil** : A plot to create clones of Hitler reveals a trait of the Fuhrer previously unknown. **WALL-EYE** : A species of freshwater fish is one of the few lifeforms left on a despoiled future Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/490 "2010-02-24T02:23:18Z")
**Zombieland Before Time** - if there’s one thing scarier than dinosaurs chasing you, it’s _dead_ dinosaurs chasing you. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/491 "2010-02-24T02:48:24Z")
_Hate, Actually_ - An all-white English ensemble cast appears in this heartwarming comedy about the National Front. _The Parolee of Azkaban_ - The Ministry of Magic is forced to release Sirius Black due to budget cuts. \* Galaxy Queef\* - Howard Stern stars in this grossout sf parody. _The Search for Spork_ - Admiral James T. Kirk, growing ever larger, demands a hybrid utensil in order to eat more quickly. _Absence of Alice_ - A defamation lawsuit paralyzes Wonderland. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/492 "2010-02-24T03:42:05Z")
**Did you Hear About the Morgan Freemans?** - while in the process of a very nasty divorce Morgan Freeman and his wife witness a mafia hit and have to go into hiding. It’s a road comedy as they have to move around constantly since everybody in the world knows Morgan Freeman; even when latex is applied to make him look like an elderly Mexican woman they still know it’s him as soon as he speaks. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/493 "2010-02-25T18:54:21Z")
**F** ragon, **G** ragon, **H** ragon: The next three warmed-over rehashed **D** ragon stories involving **E** ragon ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/494 "2010-02-25T19:52:29Z")
> [@ministryman](#): > > **F** ragon, **G** ragon, **H** ragon: The next three warmed-over rehashed **D** ragon stories involving **E** ragon **I** ragon: I figure at the current rate my IRA will be gone in a year. “The flagon with the dragon contains the pestle with the poison. The chalice in the palace contains the brew that is true.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/495 "2010-02-25T20:07:29Z")
**Thyme Bandits:** A bunch of dwarves attempt to steal God’s spice rack. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/496 "2010-03-01T20:21:37Z")
**Mystic Liver:** A detective solves crimes by studying the entrails of animals. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/497 "2010-03-02T01:38:34Z")
The Sound of Mucus: The Von Drippe family avoid the Nazis by pretending to have colds. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/498 "2010-03-02T18:08:38Z")
\*\*The English Patent: \*\* In WWII, an archeologist is inspired to patent a better burn creme. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/499 "2010-03-02T19:11:14Z")
**Clear and Present Dangerous Minds:** A group of underacheiving gang members are recruited by the government to kill the very drug lords they buy their product from. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/500 "2010-03-02T21:32:40Z")
_The Hunt for Pink October_ - A Soviet sub crew has a fabulous weekend shore leave in San Francisco. _Unclear and Absent Danger_ - Jack Ryan can’t figure out what to do in response to a vague threat to world peace, so he goes on a whiskey bender. _Red Hannah Storm Rising_ - A beautiful sportscaster and secret Commie strives to overthrow the U.S. government. _The Mynah Bird of the Kremlin_ - An annoying talking bird is kept out of Poliburo meetings by order of the Soviet premier, and thus proves useless as an intelligence-gathering tool. _The Sun of All Fears_ - Even Jack Ryan can’t save America from a supernova. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=26)