# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/521 "2010-03-14T02:30:55Z")
**Pretty In Pink, One in the Stink** : A real shocker! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/522 "2010-03-14T11:43:18Z")
**King Kong Bundy:** A former wrestler terrorizes New York. Famous for the climactic fight atop the Chrysler Building with George “The Animal” Steele. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/523 "2010-03-14T12:39:44Z")
**Agnew of God** - A former VP enters a convent to escape prosecutors. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/524 "2010-03-14T13:43:19Z")
**An Officer and a Yentlman** - A rambunctious naval officer is enamored by the ship’s rabbi until a night time snorkeling expedition breaks his heart. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/525 "2010-03-15T17:38:17Z")
**A Few Good Men in Black -** When an unexplained death involving detained alien from Solaxian 9 occurs at Guantanamo Bay, J and K are called into investigate. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/526 "2010-03-15T19:13:27Z")
**Malcolm JFK:** “Black, and to the left!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/527 "2010-03-15T19:48:02Z")
**Supperman:** The Last Son of Krypton branches out into catering. **To Catch a Predator:** “Would you mind taking a seat over–WAAGH!”\ ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/528 "2010-03-15T20:42:38Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Malcolm JFK:** “Black, and to the left!” It took me filling my mouth with soda before I got this…damn youse toad…spit soda again…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/529 "2010-03-15T23:54:21Z")
**Honey, I Screwed the Pooch:** When a wacky inventor’s latest device explodes, it turns his dog into a leggy supermodel. Shelved by the studio for “Not being Family Friendly.” However copies are said to circulate amongst top management just the same.- ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/530 "2010-03-16T03:35:57Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > **Honey, I Screwed the Pooch:** When a wacky inventor’s latest device explodes, it turns his dog into a leggy supermodel. Shelved by the studio for “Not being Family Friendly.” However copies are said to circulate amongst top management just the same.- You mean the one where when she’s in heat she reverts into a half-human furry? The first film banned by both the Motion Picture Association of America and PETA. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/531 "2010-03-17T18:59:55Z")
Lumpy and Johnny Q made me do this one: \*\*SplashDance: \*\*The sequel to Splash. Unable to survive in Earth’s oceans due to growing pollution and overfishing, Allen and Madison must return to land in order to make a living. Guess how? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/532 "2010-03-17T19:33:37Z")
**Live and Let Die Fledermaus:** A mad genius attempts to take over the world with the power of Opera. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/533 "2010-03-17T19:58:19Z")
**What’s New Pussycat? Kill, Kill!!!:** A swinging ladies man findzs himself marked for death by his ex girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/534 "2010-03-17T20:31:26Z")
**Lawrence of Louisiana** – A bored English soldier of fortune decides to teach Cajuns to band together and form a militia to overthrow the White Supremists in the bayou country. One evening while he is bathing in the swamp a Cajun notices how white his skin is and decides to make a sauce piquant out of him. Things get nasty as they try to find a big enough cookpot. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/535 "2010-03-17T21:18:22Z")
**With 14, you get Nadya:** The touching story of a widower who marries a woman with 14 kids. Rated W, for What the F\*\*\* is he thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/536 "2010-03-18T10:30:08Z")
**No Country For 12 Angry Men** : Anton decides to present his argument directly to the jury… ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/537 "2010-03-18T14:10:09Z")
**Don’t Be a Dennis the Menace in South Central While Drinking Your Gin and Juice in The Hood:** Dennis and his family are the only whites in a South Los Angeles neighborhood. Trouble ensues until “D-Rock” puts the pimp hand down on the homies as only he can. He ain’t called “The Menace” for nothin’! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/538 "2010-03-18T17:58:04Z")
Dennis The Menace 2 Society: With the help of his new girlfriend Dennis is determined to stop being a menace. Dennis The Phantom Menace: Dennis accidentally destroys the Alliance. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/539 "2010-03-19T14:16:58Z")
**Red Dawn of the Dead -** After a surprise Russian invasion decimates the U.S. population, a freak solar flare causes the recently killed Americans to rise and seek revenge. @furryman: Well played, sir. Well played. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/540 "2010-03-19T14:35:44Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Malcolm JFK:** “Black, and to the left!” That’s hilarious! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=28)