# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/541 "2010-03-19T14:40:41Z")
**The Night of the Deer Hunter** - Two children are put on the spot when their widowed mother marries a disturbed Vietnam War vet. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/542 "2010-03-19T17:53:54Z")
The Night of the Hunger: I had the munchies at 2 a.m. so I got up to fix something to eat. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/543 "2010-03-19T18:27:21Z")
**Office Space:1999:** Disgruntled office workers and a battle over a red stapler set off a chain of events that end with the moon(and it’s moonbase) being blown out of orbit. Guess those TPS reports were important after all. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/544 "2010-03-19T18:36:57Z")
**Big Country for Old Men and The Sea** – What starts as a range war develops into a serial killer catching a big fish. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/545 "2010-03-19T20:30:42Z")
**Dunkin’ Master** – A struggling martial arts student can’t awaken the true skills of his training until after that first cup of joe and a fresh maple bar. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/546 "2010-03-19T20:49:18Z")
\*\*You Only Live and Let Die Twice - \*\*Sean Connery vs Roger Moore in the ultimate “Who is the better James Bond?” thriller. Spoiler Alert: For those whiners in the other thread, and in accordance with the rules of engagement. This is who would win: Sean. End of Story. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/547 "2010-03-20T17:41:24Z")
Menace The Dennis: The evil “Mr. W” is out to kill Dennis. Can anything stop him?! Dentist the Menace: Worst. Dentist. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/548 "2010-03-20T22:57:27Z")
**The Almighty Ducks:** Jesus returns to Earth to coach a pee wee hockey team. Anyone mentioning the apocalypse to him comes to a bad end. Rated B for Blasphemy. Not so much for the subject matter as the quality of the movie itself. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/549 "2010-03-22T21:45:48Z")
\*\*Angus of God \*\*- An autobiographical rockumentary of AC/DC’s lead guitarist! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/550 "2010-03-22T23:56:36Z")
**The C\*cksucker Proxy:** A mailroom worker at a sex toy company rises to greatness when he invents the Glory Hole. One of only 5 movies where theater managers are authorized(nay, required) to use lethal force to keep kids from sneaking in. The infamous X-XP(extreme prejudice) rating. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/551 "2010-03-23T00:15:13Z")
**Attack of the Clowns:** A corrupt and decaying republic fights off a robot army with circus performers. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/552 "2010-03-23T01:01:02Z")
The Lion’s and the Witch’s Wardrobe: The Lion and the Witch criticize everyone’s fashion sense. Harriet the Spry: Very…flexible woman. Rated XXX. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/553 "2010-03-23T14:09:35Z")
**Leonard Skynard, Part 6:** Bill Cosby jams with his favorite southern rock group. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/554 "2010-03-23T14:59:27Z")
\*\*Chocolate Rain: \*\*Tay Zonday is asked to replace Prince during a Revolution reunion. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/555 "2010-03-23T15:14:58Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > A mailroom worker at a sex toy company rises to greatness when he invents the Glory Hole. [del]You know! For k–[/del] Nevermind. Even \*I \*can’t make that joke. Oh wait, I guess I just did. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/556 "2010-03-23T15:19:35Z")
**A Streetcar Named Desire Under The Elms** – Motorized public transport arrives in a bucolic Pennsylvania Dutch setting as family squabbles brew over the appropriate dress at dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/557 "2010-03-23T15:21:03Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Harriet the Spry: Isn’t that a Doper? ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/558 "2010-03-23T16:43:34Z")
\*\*Sex Toy Story \*\*- A young woman gives up her favorite toy (“Woody”) in favor of a newer, fancier one (“Buzz”)…I can’t go on…the pain is too great… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/559 "2010-03-23T18:22:16Z")
**Platoonic:** “Me be just friend with you long time.” **In the Line of Firefox** : Guarding the prez is a lot different from the cockpit of a secret Soviet fighter… **The Smell of Music:** The Von Trapps get a new nanny who teaches them better hygiene habits. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/560 "2010-03-23T20:22:14Z")
_Dr. Nome_ - Bond heads to the Arctic Circle when an evil mastermind establishes his secret base in an Alaskan city. _From Russia with Lovehandles_ - Bond (John Candy) hits the buffet a few times too often. _ThunderRollerBall_ - Bond (James Caan) must survive a deadly futuristic game to recover a stolen nuclear weapon. _The Spy Who Sort of Had a Crush On Me_ - Bond feels uncharacteristically shy and never makes a move on an attractive girl. _For Your Eye Only_ - Bond fools around with one of Q’s gadgets once too often, partially blinds M, and is fired. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=29)