# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/561 "2010-03-24T14:00:10Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Platoonic:** “Me be just friend with you long time.” > > **In the Line of Firefox** : Guarding the prez is a lot different from the cockpit of a secret Soviet fighter… > > **The Smell of Music:** The Von Trapps get a new nanny who teaches them better hygiene habits. Toad, “Me love you long time” was from\* Full Metal Jacket\*, not _Platoon_ :dubious:… Nevermind, it’s still funny…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/562 "2010-03-24T14:59:53Z")
**Who Framed Roger Babbitt?** : a real-estate agent’s middle class existence is overturned when he becomes ensnared in a conspiracy centered on Toontown. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/563 "2010-03-24T16:35:21Z")
**Life of Brain** : “So, Brain, what are we going to do today?” “Today, Pinky, I shall be mistaken for the mesiah and take over THE WORLD!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/564 "2010-03-24T18:59:11Z")
**Thunderball Road:** A bootlegger must transport a nuclear warhead and keep one step ahead of the Revenuers and SPECTRE. Of course, due to the production code at the time of the writing: He left the road at 90 That’s all there is to tell The Devil took the driver and the city straight to Hell ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/565 "2010-03-24T19:07:32Z")
**Marathon Man in a Grey Flannel Suit** – An up and coming ad exec eschews a sweat suit for his Central Park jog and meets an interesting dentist on his morning run. No Novocaine this time! ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/566 "2010-03-24T21:01:58Z")
\*\*Bottom Gun - \*\*The “back story” on _why_ Goose was Maverick’s RIO. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/567 "2010-03-24T23:18:48Z")
**Frakes on a Plane:** Terror strikes a transatlantic flight when a minor celebrity is recognized by his rabid fans. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/568 "2010-03-25T01:17:05Z")
**Forever Amber Lamps** - In 17th century England, a beautiful young girl travels to London to seek her fortune; but, her coach ride is interrupted by a duel between the Earl of Leekin & Sir Olde Guy d’Motherfucker. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/569 "2010-03-25T23:34:26Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > **Marathon Man in a Grey Flannel Suit** – An up and coming ad exec eschews a sweat suit for his Central Park jog and meets an interesting dentist on his morning run. No Novocaine this time! Similarly– **Marathon Man in the White Suit:** A Nazi dentist accosts a man to get his virtually indestructible suit. Famous for having the third longest assassination montage where the target doesn’t realize people are trying to kill him. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/570 "2010-03-26T04:26:20Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > Similarly– > > **Marathon Man in the White Suit:** A Nazi dentist accosts a man to get his virtually indestructible suit. Famous for having the third longest assassination montage where the target doesn’t realize people are trying to kill him. Or… **Marathon Man on the Moon** - A Nazi dentist abducts a man who is even crazier than he is. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/571 "2010-03-26T14:12:25Z")
**The Red Baron Munchausen** : A former WW1 ace tells wildly improbable tales of his aerial exploits. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/572 "2010-03-26T14:18:45Z")
**On the Beach Blanket Bingo** – Wild and crazy teenagers moon the fates by having a twist party on the shore of a nuclear waste site lake. Bikinis show all the lesions and eruptions on their skin as they dance away their cares and woes. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/573 "2010-03-26T15:25:33Z")
**The 40-Year-Old Virgin** : \*Spartacus \*remade as a slapstick rom-com focused on his relationship with Varinia. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/574 "2010-03-26T16:22:28Z")
\*\*Who’s Afraid of Virgina Wolfman?: \*\*Nick and Honey are about to see the REAL dirty secret at George and Marthas. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/575 "2010-03-26T17:20:56Z")
**Scotty of the Antarctic:** A starship engineer takes a trip to the South Pole. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/576 "2010-03-26T17:41:53Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > **Scotty of the Antarctic:** A starship engineer takes a trip to the South Pole. Where he fights a lion. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/577 "2010-03-26T18:13:51Z")
No, a ten foot tall electric penguin. It is the Antarctic, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/578 "2010-03-28T12:32:48Z")
**Sherwood Forest Gump** – Mentally deficient vagabonds romp through Merrie Olde England and run afoul of an overly aggressive Sheriff played by Kevin Costner and Alan Rickman in alternating scenes so as to confuse Gump and the audience and the critics. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/579 "2010-03-28T18:32:59Z")
Scooby Doon’t: A bunch of slackers and their dog lay around and do nothing. The Count of Monte Crisco: The count goes into the fried chicken business. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/580 "2010-03-28T19:08:50Z")
_Come See the Cinema Paradiso_ Salvatore Di Vita, world-famous film director, returns home for the funeral of Jack McGurn, the movie house projectionist who took the youth under his wing and planted the seed for his love of film. Receiving a gift Jack left behind of deleted love scenes, per the film standards board, while viewing it, he finds it only contains excised love scenes between couples of different races. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=30)