# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/41 "2009-11-13T03:37:42Z")
**The Men Who Stare at Oates** – Two gay groupies follow a concert tour of the duo famous for such hits as _Rich Girl_ and _Sara Smile_, pointedly ignoring Daryl Hall all the way while fixing their gazes on his partner John. **There Will Be Bud** – Frustrated by the falling price of soybeans, a ruthless farmer decides to try to corner the marijuana market. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/42 "2009-11-13T07:16:29Z")
**Yo, Jimbo!:** Brooklyn’s only samurai returns to the old neighborhood. Not to be confused with the similar **The Taking of One Two Three Sesame Street.** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/43 "2009-11-13T07:35:39Z")
**The Godlessfather:** Richard Dawkins rises to the head of one of the world’s most powerful crime families. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/44 "2009-11-13T09:04:36Z")
**Tyler Perry’s MEDEA’S FAMILY REUNION** - Belly laughs and blood galore flow as a 6 1/2 foot tall mad Greek woman deals with discovering her husband has been unfaithful by slaughtering their children and his girlfriend and her father at the family barbecue, all with a Christian message at the end. **SLUMDOG WIN, LOSE OR DRAW** - Bert Reynolds in the role he was born to play- Bert Reynolds- is the sleazy host who believes there’s no way the Indian kid on his show could have guessed 90210 from Jim Nabors drawing of a cat and R2D2 and so in vignettes it’s revealed how he knew the answers. **INDIANA JONES AND THE TENURE TRACK** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/45 "2009-11-13T09:39:54Z")
**Bring Me the Head of Jerry Garcia:** A crazed Grateful Dead fan searches for a one of a kind collector’s item. Famous for its super slo-mo scenes of people sitting around stoned. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/46 "2009-11-14T01:08:39Z")
**Pork Lips Now:** An errand boy is sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill for disgusting snack foods. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/47 "2009-11-14T01:19:04Z")
**the vagina- mine’s on hogs.** ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/48 "2009-11-14T02:46:48Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > **Pork Lips Now:** An errand boy is sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill for disgusting snack foods. [Check](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081354/) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/49 "2009-11-14T20:55:55Z")
**The Godmuppet** - Francis Ford Coppola and the Jim Henson estate team up to recreate an American classic for a new generation. Followed by **Passion of the Frog**. **Titanic 2: The Search for Jack** - Rose receives visions in a dream and from Jack’s mystic grandfather Sarek Dawson that his spirit is restless, so she books passage to go find his body and bring it back on a ship called _Lusitania_. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/50 "2009-11-14T21:33:26Z")
_Don of The Dead_ - The former head of an organized crime family enters the witness protection program as a road manager for a legendary 60s band. _All Reservoir Dogs Go To Heaven_ - In this tense black comedy, an orphaned mutt returns from heaven to earth in order to do a good deed, but is waylaid and ends up taking part in an unsuccessful jewel heist. Top flight acting combined with a kick ass 70’s soundtrack and a total lack of flea collars or neutering makes this one a winner! _The Stand And Deliver_ - In a post-apocalyptic world ravaged by a deadly man-made disease, a dark figure seeks to rule all which remains. He’s opposed however, by a good man seeking to teach calculus to the underprivileged few who remain. _Carrie Nation_ This tale mixes genres as it examines morality set against a backdrop of psychokinetic horror. A young woman urges those around her to be temperate with their vices. When they disregard and then mock her, the tale takes a darker turn as she blows their shit up. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/51 "2009-11-14T21:58:11Z")
**12:30 Next Tuesday At the Earliest:** A gunman’s plans for revenge are put in jeopardy when his train is delayed and the railroad station goes on strike ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/52 "2009-11-14T22:07:42Z")
**Under the Tusken Sun** Diane Lane rediscovers herself in the deserts of Tattooine. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/53 "2009-11-14T22:15:45Z")
**The Queen of New York:** A plucky transvestite attempts to gain control of the Big Apples organized crime network. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/54 "2009-11-14T22:26:48Z")
**Harold and Maude** Death-obsessed young man falls for ultra-liberal older woman with some _serious_ authority-figure issues. Starring Bud Cort and Bea Arthur. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/55 "2009-11-14T23:34:53Z")
**Mr. Rogers:** An officer on the wackiest ship in the Navy wants to be everybody’s neighbor From the people who brought you: **Mikhail’s Navy:** in which future Premier Gorbachev tries to run his wacky scams without the Komissar catching on. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/56 "2009-11-15T00:29:52Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > **Harold and Maude** Death-obsessed young man falls for ultra-liberal older woman with some _serious_ authority-figure issues. Starring Bud Cort and Bea Arthur. That would be _really_ death obsessed. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/57 "2009-11-15T01:19:23Z")
**Stomp The Bard** - Rival drama groups square off to see who can put the most ham in _Hamlet_. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/58 "2009-11-15T02:34:49Z")
**Howards’ Ends:** Two of the Three Stooges get colonoscopies. Hilarity ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/59 "2009-11-15T02:43:14Z")
**Lord of the Springs -** The life and times of Zalmon G. Simmons, creator of _Simmons Beautyrest._ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/60 "2009-11-15T05:14:23Z")
**CHRISTMAS STORY 2: SCUT HEIL!** - 10 years after receiving his Red Ryder BB gun Ralphie enlists upon learning of Pearl Harbor being bombed. His drill sergeant is high school bully Scut Farkus, who it turns out is a Nazi double agent sending coded messages with a decoder ring. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=4)