# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 36
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/701 "2010-06-02T17:12:49Z")
**Wonder Man:** He lifts the toilet seat up! He’s sensitive to his woman’s needs! He changes diapers! He listens! He doesn’t snore or fart! Rated F for Fantasy… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/702 "2010-06-02T18:39:12Z")
**Hudson Hawkman:** A wisecracking cat burglar discovers that he is actually a flying alien and a reincarnated Egyptian prince. (Don’t overthink it. None of the rest of the movie makes sense either) ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/703 "2010-06-02T20:09:48Z")
**Harry Potter and the Take-Out Order of the Phoenix** : Comes with egg-roll. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/704 "2010-06-03T07:14:18Z")
**Inspector Cousteau:** A bumbling detective fights crime on the bottom of the sea. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/705 "2010-06-03T12:12:02Z")
**Josie and the Pussy Cat Dolls** : In this reboot, Josie McCoy (brainwashed by the MegaSound) drops Val and Mel to form a new band. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/706 "2010-06-03T17:46:56Z")
_There’s Something About Mary, Queen of Scots_: As she’s lead to the scaffolding for here beheading, we notice that’s not a crown she’s wearing on her head. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/707 "2010-06-03T20:12:43Z")
Cloverfield of Dreams: A man builds a city in the hopes that a sea monster would destroy it and reunite him with his long-lost father Alice in Neverland: A young girl finds herself lost in a wonderous land filled with mystical enchanment. Along the way she encounters a black man holding an umbrella, a mad tea party where they serve Jesus blood, and a white queen who hates little girls 500 days of Summer: A dark comedy about unrequited love admist the effects of Global Warming Charlie and the Diabetes Treatment Center: After winning Willy Wonka’s factory, Charlie indulges in one too many chocolate fountains and has to be rushed to the hospital with sudden onset diabetes. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/708 "2010-06-04T08:52:06Z")
**500 Days of Sumner:** Loosely based on The Man Who Came to Dinner(basically going through the script and changing the names) Sting shows up at a fan’s house and doesn’t leave for a year and a half. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/709 "2010-06-04T13:24:20Z")
**Enter the Dragonball Z** - A martial arts master is sent to infiltrate a secret organization and return with a mystical orb. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/710 "2010-06-04T15:41:56Z")
**The World Is Enough** - James Bond betrays Her Majesty, marries oil heiress, brings West to its knees. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/711 "2010-06-04T15:51:28Z")
**Remember the Titians:** A small Italian Rennaisance town mourns the loss of its’ great painter. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/712 "2010-06-04T17:55:00Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > **Remember the Titians:** A small Italian Rennaisance town mourns the loss of its’ great painter. Remember The Tits, Ann: “How can I forget them?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/713 "2010-06-04T18:34:32Z")
**Snakes On a Plane on a Treadmill** : Not only does it never go anywhere, but it just won’t end! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/714 "2010-06-04T18:37:54Z")
**Sash of the Titans** - lovely Greek girl battles for Miss World crown. > [@](#): > > Snakes On a Plane on a Treadmill: Not only does it never go anywhere, but it just won’t end! “I’m sick of these motherfucking laws of physics on this motherfucking message board!” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/715 "2010-06-05T17:20:05Z")
Dismember The Titans: It’s Zeus versus the Titans, winner takes all. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/716 "2010-06-06T12:12:21Z")
**How to Drain Your Flagon** : A basic guide to drinking with vikings. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/717 "2010-06-06T19:42:29Z")
**Mr. Ed Wood:** A talking horse becomes a famous(ly bad) movie director. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/718 "2010-06-07T13:18:14Z")
**Tora, Tora Bora!** - Japan launches a devastating first strike against the Taliban. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/719 "2010-06-07T17:34:59Z")
**Song of the Sith** : The tales of Qui-Gon Remus and his encounters with Br’er Sidious and Br’er Maul. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/720 "2010-06-07T17:56:54Z")
**Return of the Red Eye** : Cilian Murphy threatens to crash Emperor Palpatine’s Star Destroyer unless the Department of Imperial Security is dissolved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=35) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=37)