# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/721 "2010-06-07T22:15:18Z")
Death Boat: Light Yagami starts his own cruise line. People get on but they don’t get off. The Dragon with the Girl Tatoo: Animated. All his friends made fun of him until one day the girl showed up and asked him to marry her. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/722 "2010-06-07T22:35:20Z")
**Fiddle Player on the Roof** - Charlie Daniels stars as the Fiddler Man in this tale of a Southern Baptist dairy farmer in Annie, Texas who must come to grips with prejudice as his 3 oldest daughters marry a Primitive Baptist, a Methodist, and a Yankee liberal. Features the famous opening > [@](#): > > A fiddle player on the roof… that sounds dummer’n’shit don’t it? But here in our little village of Annie, Texas you could say ever’ one of us is a fiddle player on the roof tryin’ to scratch out some down home bluegrass, at least everytime we get drunk and forget we can’t play the fiddle and someone leaves the ladder out. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/723 "2010-06-07T22:48:31Z")
_Das Booty_, well, it’s been done by _In Living Color_, but I thought I’d resurrect it for giggles, since the screenplay of boats and batty men should just write itself. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/724 "2010-06-07T23:19:09Z")
**Roach Hostel:** An exterminator tortures bugs for fun and profit **The A La Mode:** A tense siege develops when a diner runs out of ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/725 "2010-06-08T14:53:23Z")
**SWOT** - A specialized team of MBA and Marketing grads is created to take on a rogue Merger and Acquisition corporation bent on taking over the world. In case you have to ask what SWOT means: **S** trengths, **W** eaknesses, **O** pportunities, and **T** hreats (or Trends) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/726 "2010-06-08T18:19:19Z")
**The Z Team:** A crack zombie commando unit survives(?) as soldiers of fortune. Solving problems nobody else can help with, and all it costs is your braiiiinsss. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/727 "2010-06-09T16:55:01Z")
The Tale of Despero: “Once upon a time on a planet far away there lived a super-villain…” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/728 "2010-06-09T17:07:43Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > **The Z Team:** A crack zombie commando unit survives(?) as soldiers of fortune. Solving problems nobody else can help with, and all it costs is your braiiiinsss. **The B Team** - a squad of veterans dishonorably discharged for smoking too much pot travel Los Angeles failing to accomplish anything. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/729 "2010-06-09T19:34:47Z")
**The AA Team.** A group of emaciated models join up to fight the designer label establishment after they’re all rejected for a Victoria’s Secret shoot. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/730 "2010-06-09T19:37:14Z")
_The AAA Team_ - They’ll get your vehicle started, tow it or blow it up. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/731 "2010-06-09T20:49:26Z")
**D&C Cab:** In the years before Roe v Wade, an abortionist operates his business from the back of a taxi. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/732 "2010-06-09T20:49:48Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > **The AA Team.** A group of emaciated models join up to fight the designer label establishment after they’re all rejected for a Victoria’s Secret shoot. Shouldn’t that be the \*\*\*A-Cup \*\*\*Team? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/733 "2010-06-09T21:35:56Z")
> [@ministryman](#): > > Shouldn’t that be the \*\*\*A-Cup \*\*\*Team? AA is a size smaller than A. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/734 "2010-06-10T00:10:17Z")
**The Enumerator:** A cyborg accountant comes from the future to do Sarah Connor’s taxes ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/735 "2010-06-10T00:35:57Z")
_DNC Cab_: In order to save on expenses, the national committee uses one cab for _all_ of their campaign trips. Hilarity ensues, especially when the candidates don’t tip. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/736 "2010-06-10T04:00:49Z")
Der Baader Meinhof Apartment Komplex: Roof leaks? Rats eating the kitchen? Who cares, you don’t dare complain to this property management agency. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/737 "2010-06-10T22:59:20Z")
**The Man Who Knew Rich Little:** A man’s friendship with a famous impressionist puts his life in danger. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/738 "2010-06-11T00:37:34Z")
**The Shawshank Redemption Center** : A nickle…for _your soul!_ **The God-father** : "Just wait until your father gets home, Little Jesus! " **Pulp Faction** : How the orange juice pickers of California beat Tang in the Supreme Court. **Schindler’s Lust** : Oskar has a secret…REAL “kosher” hotdogs. **12 Angry Men** : The true story of how Judas Iscariot died. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/739 "2010-06-11T13:03:16Z")
**The Man Whose Not Liberty Valance** : An uninteresting story about a completely different guy. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/740 "2010-06-11T14:09:41Z")
\*\*Escape from Mexico: \*\*Despite Walls and fences being erected on the border between the United States and Mexico, Snake Pliskin must once again risk life and limb to transport two Mexican nationals into Arizona. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=38)