# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/782 "2010-07-06T23:38:30Z")
**The Incredible Vulk:** After receiving a radiation overdose while handling the Enterprise’s warp core, Mr. Spock undegoes a strange metamorphosis whenever faced with an illogical situation. As things become more illogical, he grows bigger, stronger, and more pedantic. While in this state, he will try to explain to those around exactly what is wrong with the situation that caused his transformation, and there is nothing more terrifying than a Vulcan in Full Lecture Mode. Spock: …And that is why this situation makes no sense whatsoever. Do you understand? Redshirt who had to listen: Y-Yes. (Spock bulks up some more) Spock: I do not think you do. Therefore I shall explain it for a second time (Redshirt shoots self with own phaser) ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/783 "2010-07-07T12:48:12Z")
\*\*Reception: \*\*A man who can enter people’s parties uses his power to meet the President of the United States, causing a major security breach. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/784 "2010-07-07T15:29:29Z")
**The Adventures of Fnord Fairlane** : A private detective builds a career out of being effectively invisible: people don’t notice or remember him, records of his existence keep letting lost or erased, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/785 "2010-07-07T15:31:36Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > **The Adventures of Fnord Fairlane** : A private detective builds a career out of being effectively invisible: people don’t notice or remember him, records of his existence keep letting lost or erased, etc. It’s just like Andrew Dice Clay’s career! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/786 "2010-07-07T19:38:14Z")
**Zorba the Geek:** A young man learns about life and love from a man who bites the heads off chickens. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/787 "2010-07-07T20:32:03Z")
**Kill Bill, Part 3:** Linus Torvalds and Steve Jobs join forces to remove a blight from the computer world. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/788 "2010-07-08T18:10:00Z")
Astro Toy: Woodie, Buzz and the gang end up in space, hilarity ensues. Astro Boy Toy: An alien “cougar” takes a young human male as a lover. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/789 "2010-07-08T18:55:14Z")
**Wall-Eye** : the animated adventures of a lonely fish. In space. **The Shawshank Declension** : the warden of a New England prison discovers a foolhardy way to rehabilitate convicts: teaching them Latin! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/790 "2010-07-09T00:34:05Z")
**Origazmo:** The title makes sense after you see the movie, but you’ll wish it didn’t. Suffice it to say that the folding involved is only pleasurable if you’re a Cenobyte. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/791 "2010-07-09T13:34:44Z")
**Band of Big Brothers:** The men of Easy Co. spend all their time monitoring each other for Thought Crime. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/792 "2010-07-10T06:56:36Z")
**No Country for Old Men in Black:** In an effort to further cover up the existence of aliens, a serial killer is sent out to “retire” former members of the enforcement agency that tracks them. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/793 "2010-07-11T02:02:48Z")
Man In Black: Jonny Cash is recruited to help deal with alien problems. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/794 "2010-07-11T14:52:51Z")
**The Saw-Shank Resection** : the full story of how Cotton Hill gave his shins for his country. **Boy Lent Green** : what a precocious youngster did when entrusted with a large amount of cash. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/795 "2010-07-11T17:02:17Z")
**Avatarp** : former Marine wears blue plastic sheeting to infiltrate an alien culture. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/796 "2010-07-12T15:08:50Z")
The Inedibles: Mr. Inedible and his family try and start a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/797 "2010-07-12T15:30:46Z")
\*\*Animal House on Haunted Hill: \*\*Pinto and Flounder set up the new Delta frat house on the site of a closed mental institution. Hilarity and horror ensue when the new pledge class must spend the night in the house alone. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/798 "2010-07-13T16:28:29Z")
House On Hank Hill: House tries and diagnose a mysterious illness when Hank Hill shows up at the hospital. Animated/live action ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/799 "2010-07-13T16:48:16Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > House On Hank Hill: > House tries and diagnose a mysterious illness when Hank Hill shows up at the hospital. Animated/live action I’d pay to see this one greenlighted! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/800 "2010-07-13T16:49:47Z")
**Lawrence Welk of Arabia:** A man unites the Arab tribes by teaching them how to polka. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/801 "2010-07-15T17:47:08Z")
\*\*\*No one likes you, Charlie Brown Lucy’s playing you for a Fool, Charlie Brown\*\*\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=39) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=41)