# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 41
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/802 "2010-07-15T22:18:56Z")
**The Little Red-Haired Girl Is a Lesbian, Charlie Brown** ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/803 "2010-07-16T00:01:25Z")
Continuing the cycle… **You’re a Sick, Sadistic Bastard, Charlie Brown:** The Round Headed Kid gets his revenge on his so-called friends. You’ll never look at Lucy and the football quite the same way again. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/804 "2010-07-17T00:23:47Z")
**Reception** : The woman at the front desk of a Fortune 500 company can see into the minds of everyone who as they come and go and steals major secrets from their thoughts, like what Helen is considering having for lunch, what Bob actually just did in the men’s room, and who has Milton’s red, swingline stapler. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/805 "2010-07-19T18:16:39Z")
**The Quick and the Dead Calm** - The captain of a cruise chip hosts a simulated western gunfight for his guests. When one of them dies from a real gunshot wound, and the ship mysteriously stalls, the captain must find the killer and get the ship to safety. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/806 "2010-07-20T00:22:17Z")
Deception: Anyone who tells you this movie is good is lying. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/807 "2010-07-20T14:02:28Z")
\*\*Troy Story: \*\* When Buzz Light Year runs off with Bo Peep, Woodie gathers his army men to storm the seemingly impregnable attic to wreak vengence. “Cry havok! And let slip the slinky dogs of war!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/808 "2010-07-20T18:11:37Z")
**Max Schreck:** After being typecast in his first film, the star of Nosferatu desperately searches for another gig. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/809 "2010-07-20T22:12:12Z")
**Kindergarten Corp:** A cop turned teacher organizes the youngest business ever. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/810 "2010-07-20T22:49:40Z")
**Blade Ruiner:** A private detective is terrible with edged weapons. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/811 "2010-07-21T00:50:01Z")
**Totaled Recall** : an automaker is forced to absorb the indemnity of thousands of it’s cars wrecked in accidents caused by mechanical defects. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/812 "2010-07-21T17:04:58Z")
**Dred Dawn:** A midwest town must fend off an invasion of rastafarians. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/813 "2010-07-21T17:50:12Z")
**The Year of Giving Dangerously** : A foreign correspondent covering the story of Sukarno’s electric rise to power while conducting an affair with a diplomat and dealing with his photographer who’s gone native, finally faces a moral crisis brought on by going broke falling for the pleas of every native beggar. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/814 "2010-07-21T21:56:06Z")
Singing in the Acid Rain: A man’s merry ditty is rudely interrupted by chemical burns. DT: Children adopt a shivery drunk that they find in the toolshed, then lead alcohol counselors on a chase as they try to get him back to his home on skid row. Harlot’s Web: A hooker with a heart of gold joins forces with PETA to help save a pig destined for the sausage machine. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/815 "2010-07-21T23:08:59Z")
**e.e.** Children adopt an eccentric poet they meet at the local library, then lead academics on a chase as they try to get him back to start using capital letters. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/816 "2010-07-21T23:29:37Z")
Because someone had to do it… And if I do it… Maybe others won’t… **Mad Mel:** Various pressures and influences in his life cause a once respected thespian to go off the deep end. It’s the movie everybody’s talking about. No matter how much you wish they’d stop. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/817 "2010-07-22T01:19:37Z")
**Respectable Me: The Story of Rod Blagojevich** ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/818 "2010-07-22T12:26:12Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Singing in the Acid Rain: A man’s merry ditty is rudely interrupted by chemical burns. > > DT: Children adopt a shivery drunk that they find in the toolshed, then lead alcohol counselors on a chase as they try to get him back to his home on skid row. **Singin’ in the Black Rain** : A rousing musical about a Yakuza boss trying to buy his way into the movie business with counterfeit cash. **DT** : Drew Barrymore phones home for bail money. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/819 "2010-07-22T18:11:23Z")
**The E-Woks Adventure** : searching for chinese cookware online. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/820 "2010-07-22T18:35:09Z")
**Detroit Wok City** : A couple of boys go on a quest to find the best chinese food in the rust belt. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/821 "2010-07-22T18:44:30Z")
Warning the following post is in extremely bad taste! [spoiler]Ramona and Jesus: It’s hard being the Messiah’s younger sister “Jesus, come play with me.” “I can’t. I’m practicing walking on water” “Your older brothers perfect, why can’t you be more like him.”[/spoiler] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=40) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=42)