# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 42
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/822 "2010-07-22T18:59:54Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Warning the following post is in extremely bad taste! You’ve been here almost a decade and you think \*that \*was so offensive it needed a spoiler tag? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/823 "2010-07-22T19:17:43Z")
**Norma Rae, Is That You?** : In the middle of giving the union-rallying speech at the factory, Norma Rae suddenly comes out as a lesbian. Starring Angelina Jolie as Norma Rae, Zoe Saldana as her lover, and Cedric the Entertainer and Lynn Whitfield as her parents. No penis will ensue but there’s hot lesbian action. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/824 "2010-07-22T19:58:21Z")
**Hashi-mon** : A couple of stoners remember the same events differently. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/825 "2010-07-22T23:24:15Z")
**Ran AWAY!!!:** An aging shogun divides his kingdom amongst his family, only to be attacked by a horde of killer rabbits. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/826 "2010-07-23T15:24:04Z")
**Ikeelu**. When a middle-aged Tokyo bureaucrat is diagnosed with cancer, he dedicates the remaining year of life to improving the world by murdering people he doesn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/827 "2010-07-23T15:39:31Z")
**Spaceship Down** - a colony of rabbits on Mars seeks out a new home, braving danger and attacks from other space rabbits along the way. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/828 "2010-07-23T17:15:15Z")
**Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence Welk:** An allied prisoner is considered a traitor when he organizes big band entertainment for his Japanese jailors. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/829 "2010-07-23T17:30:06Z")
**I Robot:** In the year year 2035, Detective Del Spooner is called in to investigate the murder of local dance instructor who was trying to revive this 70’s dance craze. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/830 "2010-07-24T21:33:58Z")
**Black Pitch:** Ruthless mercenaries battle a monster that pours sticky tree sap on its enemies, ruining their clothes and being a real pain to wash off. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/831 "2010-07-24T23:15:05Z")
**It’s a Blunderfull Life** : Incompetent Uncle Billy survives on the kindness of others. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/832 "2010-07-25T19:13:51Z")
**The Pink Panzer:** The story of the wackiest tank in the German Army. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/833 "2010-07-26T14:18:41Z")
**John Carpenter’s _The Thing That You Do_** : An arctic research station is the scene of terror and paranoia when an outsider brings in a single from an early-60’s one-hit wonder. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/834 "2010-07-26T14:20:33Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > **The Pink Panzer:** The story of the wackiest tank in the German Army. If it was a Tiger tank, it could be crewed by Sigfried and Roy. Of course, you could have called the movie The Pink Panther and still been just as accurate. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/835 "2010-07-27T00:53:33Z")
The Maruchan Candidate: The head of a large ramen company runs for president. or Can anyone stop a conspiracy to kill the president of a large ramen company? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/836 "2010-07-27T01:55:26Z")
**The Men Who Stare at Oats** : The true story of the Quaker Oats man, his early years, and his murderous rampage through Guatemala. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/837 "2010-07-27T05:52:29Z")
**Knight Club:** A man who may or may not exist starts an underground jousting league ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/838 "2010-07-27T16:23:22Z")
**Dr. Giggles and the Women:** A psychopathic son of a doctor moves to Texas to become a OB/GYN. \*\*Shall We Dance Dance Revolution?: \*\*A bored estate attorney buys a video game. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/839 "2010-07-27T17:54:27Z")
**Troy Story:** _The Iliad_ as depicted by childrens’ playthings ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/840 "2010-07-27T17:57:15Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > > [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > > > **The Pink Panzer:** The story of the wackiest tank in the German Army. > > If it was a Tiger tank, it could be crewed by Sigfried and Roy. Of course, you could have called the movie The Pink Panther and still been just as accurate. Don’t forget the Very Special Episode where Roy gets run over by his own tank. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/841 "2010-07-27T18:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Troy Story: The Iliad as depicted by childrens’ playthings You mean like in post #807? > [@](#): > > Troy Story: When Buzz Light Year runs off with Bo Peep, Woodie gathers his army men to storm the seemingly impregnable attic to wreak vengence. “Cry havok! And let slip the slinky dogs of war!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=41) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=43)