# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/842 "2010-07-27T18:24:50Z")
Gah!!! Withdrawn. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/843 "2010-07-27T18:26:29Z")
**Julius Squeezer:** Shakespeare’s classic tragedy performed entirely by a cast of boa constrictors ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/844 "2010-07-27T18:32:39Z")
**Tulane Blacktop:** The existential story of competing tailgate parties outside a college football stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/845 "2010-07-27T19:11:43Z")
**Orange Julius Caesar.** Et tu, Jamba-Juicé? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/846 "2010-07-27T22:56:37Z")
**No Ado About a Very Big Thing Indeed:** Bantering aristocrats fail to notice the approach of their impending doom ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/847 "2010-07-28T15:26:32Z")
Krakatoa, Lots Of Java: Mr. Krakatoa has drunk too much coffee and he’s about to explode! Watch out! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/848 "2010-07-28T16:36:32Z")
**The Abysmal** : semi-documentary tale of a meglomanical director who films an undersea movie in an actual underwater habitat/set, and the gradual decay of morale that sets in in cast and crew. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/849 "2010-07-28T17:03:24Z")
**Run, Lolita, Run** : Well, you know why. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/850 "2010-07-28T18:39:55Z")
**The Stig:** The untold story of the _Top Gear_ mascot. ---
**Author:** ![Loisseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Loisseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loisseau)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/851 "2010-07-28T18:52:44Z")
**Omlet** -The Prince of Denmark is made to give up ham by a ghostly ovo-lactarian walking about Elsinore castle. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/852 "2010-07-28T22:24:38Z")
**Run, Little Lotta, Run** : Well, you know why. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/853 "2010-07-29T03:02:45Z")
**The Afroman Who Would Be King:** He was going to usurp the throne, but then he got high ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/854 "2010-07-29T13:10:24Z")
Mother, Jugs and Crank: An independent ambulance company discovers that some of its “pickups” are dying 24 hours after they have been delivered to the hospital. Is it conspiracy? Coincidence? 50 Cent as Mother Jennifer Love Hewitt as Jugs Jason Statham as Crank. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/855 "2010-07-29T15:16:12Z")
\*\*Beverly Hills Kindergarten Cop: \*\* Axel Foley has to go undercover as an elementary school teacher for spoiled little rich kids. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/856 "2010-07-29T16:43:14Z")
**Run, [Lola Falana](http://maaadddog.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/36465_vixens160_angel_aka_lola_luv_.jpg), Run:** Well, you know why. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/857 "2010-07-29T19:36:14Z")
**The Last Three-Day Bender** : A young child with mythical drinking skills must defeat an evil overlord in an epic game of quarters. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/858 "2010-07-29T19:37:50Z")
**Riblet** : the story of Hamlet’s little-known brother who gets the throne, the wealth, everything. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2010, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/859 "2010-07-30T12:24:23Z")
**Man In Black** : Johnny Cash works as an agent patrolling the Earth, forcing aliens to walk the line. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/860 "2010-08-02T13:14:02Z")
**The Wired Bunch** : An old west gang of bank-robbers botches the job after too much coffee makes them jittery. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/861 "2010-08-02T13:21:04Z")
**Last Woman on Earth:** A plague kills every human except for a woman scientist. I would tell you how it ends, but I value my anatomy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=44)