# Not Coming To A Theater Near You **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742 "2009-11-07T23:23:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/141 "2009-11-25T21:05:46Z")
**Fantastic Mr. Fox News**. Rupert Murdoch biopic. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/142 "2009-11-25T21:11:43Z")
An oldie but a goodie: **Oh Bother Where Art Thou?** Winnie the Pooh plays Hide-and-Seek with Quakers ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/143 "2009-11-26T00:55:03Z")
**No Entry** Hell is being stuck with your friends outside a trendy nightclub forever. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/144 "2009-11-26T02:33:01Z")
_Mean Streets of Fire_ - Mafiosi motorcyclists’ angst set to a thundering rock soundtrack. _Reversal of Soldier of Fortune_ - Clark Gable stands accused of putting his heiress wife into a coma. _The Wall Street_ - A young stockbroker decides fascism and self-mutilation beats working for Gordon Gekko. _A White Christmas Carol_ - Klansmen don’t in the least mind playing Scrooge for sharecroppers. \* Forever Young Frankenstein\* - Cryogenics and raising the dead just don’t mix. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/145 "2009-11-26T04:01:25Z")
(Damn hamsters eatin’ mah posts!) **Avatard** - a documentary of the chat sessions from AOL, August 16th, 1997 **Down** an old man is trying to save his house from the evil lawyer dude building the skyscraper on adjoining land. Since his career was in trading Lead futures, his house becomes a great foundation for the Foyer. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/146 "2009-11-26T05:00:40Z")
**The Bitch Can’t Help It** - Gangsta hires down-and-out DJ to make his ho a rap star. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/147 "2009-11-26T05:06:24Z")
**The Road to Hell:** Bob Hope and Bing Crosby can’t sing their way out of this one… Script by Jack Chick. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/148 "2009-11-26T05:13:12Z")
**Being John Vukovich** - A die-hard Phillies fan discovers a portal into the mind of utility infielder John Vukovich, which is kind of a bummer since Vukovich died in 2007. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/149 "2009-11-26T07:46:07Z")
**You’ve Got Bail** - the new film by Roman Polanski, filmed entirely at his house in ankle-vision. **Cold Brokeback Mountain** - a Confederate soldier deserts to go home to his fiancee (Nicole Kidman) only to ultimately ruin their marriage due to his greater love for his male lover (Renee Zelweggar) ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/150 "2009-11-26T14:11:52Z")
**The Thin Red Line Between Love and Hate** : Love really IS a battlefield. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/151 "2009-11-26T16:19:24Z")
**The Loin King** about the meat magnate _Abe Froeman_, Sausage King of Chicago ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/152 "2009-11-26T19:33:16Z")
Rocky: The Thing becomes a heavyweight boxer. Rocky Mountain High: Rocky Balboa buys a mountain and gets high. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/153 "2009-11-27T02:07:44Z")
**Aging Bull** : brain-damage induced combativeness proves a vicious circle for a washed-up prizefighter. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/154 "2009-11-27T02:53:47Z")
Not coming soon from the UnDisney Corporation: **The Middle Mermaid** - Life-long sibling rivalry between Ariel and her sisters turns ugly when all three fall for Prince Eric. **Bambino** - A young deer rises above family tragedy to become a baseball player. **Dough White And The Seven Smurfs** - Don’t ask. UnDisney denies that they ever made this. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/155 "2009-11-27T03:54:01Z")
_That’s Lifeboat!_ - Jack Lemmon and Julie Andrews consider drowning a Nazi sailor after they’re cast adrift on Lemmon’s character’s 60th birthday cruise. _Paper Moonstruck_ - A suave Depression-era grifter catches the eye of a fiery Italian-American woman. _Cats and Dogs and Cars_ - It’s like _Faces of Death_ for toddlers. _GettysBird_ - A troubled blues musician helps the Union triumph in a pivotal Civil War battle. \* Bruces Almighty\* - The members of the Philosophy Department of the University of Woolloomooloo face an existential crisis when they are temporarily given divine powers. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/156 "2009-11-27T06:06:44Z")
**License To Kill A Mockingbird** - After tracking his arch nemesis to a sleepy Alabama town, James Bond teams with the youngest Bond Girl ever to battle Blofeld & his murderous henchman Colonel Arthur Boovar. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/157 "2009-11-27T06:26:16Z")
**The Mosaic Man:** A con man has to unload several hundred pounds of broken tile left over from a previous home improvement scam. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/158 "2009-11-27T10:14:06Z")
**The Right Snuff** - Seven brave test dippers prepare for a possible spittoon launch. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/159 "2009-11-27T17:38:02Z")
**Citizen Cane** - Rosebud was his walker… ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742/160 "2009-11-27T18:31:21Z")
The Grapes Of The Wraith Of Khan: Tom Joad fights Khan Noonien Singh during the the dustbowl. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-coming-to-a-theater-near-you/516742.md?page=9)