# Not everyone wants to "celebrate" Thanksgiving **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 27, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930 "2013-11-27T17:18:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/21 "2013-11-28T07:22:07Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > It’s really a problem that can’t be solved. I feel like I wimped out by saying “yes, I’ll be there.” Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. It can still be solved by going, spending just a little time, and then just saying that you’ve got to go. If you feel you need an excuse, just say something vague like “Gotta go. Got some stuff to do at home. I really enjoyed being here with my nieces. Bye!” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/22 "2013-11-28T07:32:44Z")
Too late for this year, but try this next year. A week or so before the Big Gluttony Fest Day, go shopping for your own Thanksgiving feast. Buy a package of Animal Crackers. That’s all. Just animal crackers. Okay, milk too if you don’t already have. When invited to go to the Fambly for Thxgvg, just tell them, with sincere heartfelt regret, that you’re already committed. When come Thxgvg, sit home alone (or with your cats) and eat the animal crackers for dinner. This is a sure-fire foolproof way to sit home alone for Thanksgiving. It works every time, without fail, guaranteed. You needn’t ask me how I know that. Oh, and ETA: > [@Rachellelogram](#): > > You can say no when people ask you to do things you don’t want to do. You can even say no when they pressure you very strongly into doing things you don’t want to do. Ain’t life great? Definitely a skill you’ll need to hone, in case you ever get invited to spend Thanksgiving at a Time Share Presentation. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/23 "2013-11-28T13:10:04Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > And now, they will drone on and on about things none of us are interested in. I really don’t want to do this. Then don’t go. You are the kind of person(it sounds like) who is a downer in any gathering. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/24 "2013-11-28T13:57:59Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > You can say no when people ask you to do things you don’t want to do. You can even say no when they pressure you very strongly into doing things you don’t want to do. Ain’t life great? Come on now. Relationships are give and take. It would be one thing if the parents are constantly guilt tripping you to come over every other weekend. But if you can’t even be bothered to give into your parents once or twice a year; that’s being rather selfish. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/25 "2013-11-28T14:59:21Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Come on now. Relationships are give and take. It would be one thing if the parents are constantly guilt tripping you to come over every other weekend. But if you can’t even be bothered to give into your parents once or twice a year; that’s being rather selfish. If her parents are lovely, wonderful people, then I say she should bite the bullet and hang in there with them. If they are abusive, hateful people, no one should be obligated to put up with them. Chances are her parents are right in the middle. To let her tell it, they sound like the worse people in the world. But she’s obviously feels some obligation to them, so they probably are not the worst of the worst. So if she doesn’t want to bail out completely but she doesn’t want to be miserable, then a little compromise is in order. That’s not selfish. That’s giving both sides what they want. Being around depressed people is not fun. So she’d likely be doing them a favor by limiting her time with them. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/26 "2013-11-28T16:24:22Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I got roped into another boring dinner with my parents tomorrow, and I really don’t want to go. The only reason I will is because I’ll get to see my nieces. I’ll probably just eat and leave. (shortened for clarity) Good grief - Don’t go. Sit at home and listen to Harry Chapin’s “Cats In The Cradle” until you feel better. Why haven’t you invited your nieces over to visit you? Is it because they might only want to “eat and leave”? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/27 "2013-11-28T16:34:53Z")
So, wouldn’t you know it, I woke up with a full sinus cavity. Really. I called my brother to say I wouldn’t be there, and he said I didn’t sound good. On top of it, one of his kids has been sick and missed 2 days of school earlier this week, and while she’s feeling better, he doesn’t want her exposed to extra germs, KWIM? The pumpkin pie will go into the freezer. As for them not coming to see me, they have a big house and I live in a small apartment, and at 12 and 14, they probably wouldn’t want to spend the day at my house because I don’t have a Wii or any of the other games they have at their house. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/28 "2013-12-01T02:47:17Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Come on now. Relationships are give and take. It would be one thing if the parents are constantly guilt tripping you to come over every other weekend. But if you can’t even be bothered to give into your parents once or twice a year; that’s being rather selfish. You think everyone’s parents were as good as yours? What a dreadful assumption. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/29 "2013-12-01T02:58:19Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > You think everyone’s parents were as good as yours? What a dreadful assumption. Well, I didn’t think I needed to add the obvious qualifier of “Unlessd you had abusive/dickhead parents.” But since apparently, it’s not as obvious as I originally thought, there ya’ go. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/30 "2013-12-02T13:40:51Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Well, I didn’t think I needed to add the obvious qualifier of “Unlessd you had abusive/dickhead parents.” But since apparently, it’s not as obvious as I originally thought, there ya’ go. That qualifier is important… plenty of people still think that everyone has an obligation to their parents regardless, because their parents did them a huge favor by giving birth in the first place–and never mind what they did for the following 18+ years. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/31 "2013-12-02T14:45:58Z")
I just decided I was old enough to make my own traditions. Now I don’t go anywhere for Thanksgiving. I like staying home. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/32 "2013-12-02T16:53:14Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The pumpkin pie will go into the freezer. As for them not coming to see me, they have a big house and I live in a small apartment, and at 12 and 14, they probably wouldn’t want to spend the day at my house because I don’t have a Wii or any of the other games they have at their house. Video games aren’t life support for children. I betcha they have lots of other interests and/or can simply engage in conversation for a couple hours. I’m guessing they don’t want to come over because you haven’t asked them, or if you have it’s because you’re a bit of a downer. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930/33 "2014-04-20T17:09:17Z")
As it turned out, I missed Christmas and my birthday in the meantime (yes, there was a lot of crud going around) and now for Easter, I made myself such a nervous wreck over it, I was too physically wiped out to even go to church. ☹ I did tell my brother that the last time I was there, in October, it was a very uncomfortable experience. Like I’ve said, I really don’t think they’re all that excited about hosting them either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-everyone-wants-to-celebrate-thanksgiving/674930.md?page=1)