# Not getting laid can really make you stop caring about life **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191 "2010-03-29T07:21:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/21 "2010-03-29T16:59:50Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > (bolding mine) > > I am picturing a lesbian boarding school right now. It’s nowhere near as terrible as you make it out to be. > > 😃 Depends on the variety of lesbian we’re dealing with. Are they more Rosie O’Donnell or Portia de Rossi? If it’s the latter then I fail to see the problem. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/22 "2010-03-29T17:13:54Z")
Your command of logic intrigues me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. First thing the morning after I get laid. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/23 "2010-03-29T17:33:07Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Depends on the variety of lesbian we’re dealing with. Are they more Rosie O’Donnell or Portia de Rossi? If it’s the latter then I fail to see the problem. Well, either way you still wouldn’t be getting laid, but in the former case you may be greatful 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/24 "2010-03-29T17:36:58Z")
Unfortunately I haven’t been laid in years. But life is still good. Sex is nice. Being in love is better. But truly, life can be good being alone. Yes, sometimes I’m lonely, but I know people who are married who are lonely. Focus on learning to be happy, then focus on finding someone (and getting laid.) As trite as that sounds, it is still good advice. ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/25 "2010-03-29T17:52:40Z")
I haven’t read the other posts on this thread and I’m sure they have probably already covered it, but I have a few points. You probably won’t get laid if you continue not to shower. I see this as a sort of snowball effect working against you. Are you not getting laid, or are you a virgrin? It sounds like you’re probably a virgin, because your post makes it sound like you have totally lost hope. Why go out? So you can get laid. I don’t understand why this is so hard to understand. Sitting inside posting about how sexually dormant you are isn’t going to help. It’s not hard, I promise. I’m probably considerably younger than you, and 90% of the other users on here. I’m just saying, it’s not that hard. And finally - It’s good , yeah, but nothing to get depressed about. And if it pisses you off that much, just go to like craigslist or whatever. Don’t they have some wierd sex forum on there? ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/26 "2010-03-29T18:16:22Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Really, to hell with the opposite sex nookie-thing. > > I haven’t been laid in over 6 years, it concerned me, then I got over it. > > I have a nice house, I’ve lost over 50 pounds in the last year, my friends love me. I have fun. > > When you are happy with yourself, then you will bew able to be happy with someone else. It will happen. Even if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay! Not everybody does find someone, and some people probably shouldn’t. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding happiness by yourself. In fact, that’s more important than worrying about being with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/27 "2010-03-29T18:17:49Z")
We all have dry spells. It will pass and then you will wish you were single again! My last bf was not the one but that doesn’t mean they all will be. I’d rather be single then dating a dubber. I love being single. It has it’s advantages. If you don’t want to be single you know what you need to do, get out and meet someone. Pry yourself off the pity pot and go do something nice for someone else. Volunteer in your community or something. You can’t feel bad for yourself if your helping someone else. Go to the gym and hang out at the coffee house. Hit a singles dance. Go see a show. Remove “can’t, won’t and never” from your vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/28 "2010-03-29T18:20:15Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I AM depressed because I’m married, and hence, not getting laid (anymore). > > Shit sucks. _sound of cork_ _gurgle_ _hands bottle over_ ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/29 "2010-03-29T18:47:40Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Should I shower? Pfft, who the hell do I need to smell good for? > > Should I go to the gym? Nah, I already know that it really doesn’t matter what kind of shape I’m in. > > Should I study? For what? I’m obviously never going to have a family relying on my support. > > Should I go out? Why bother? It’s all a means to an end to meet a companion and since I already know how that’s going to work out… > > Which in turn makes it even less likely that you’re going to get laid. Shit sucks. Ironically, when you start living for yourself, and do these things simply because you have some personal pride, you’ll find that the ladies (or whatever you prefer) will start being attracted to you. Really. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/30 "2010-03-29T19:07:42Z")
> [@Perciful](#): > > … Pry yourself off the pity pot … my friend told me once “the problem with a pity-party is that not many people show up and nobody brings presents.” ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/31 "2010-03-29T19:16:40Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Currently I am getting more ass than a toilet seat Nice phrase, **kayaker** 😉 Mind sharing some with mookie? You seem to have what’s known as a “surplus” right now … > [@Khadaji](#): > > Unfortunately I haven’t been laid in years. > > But life is still good. Sex is nice. Being in love is better. But truly, life can be good being alone. Yes, sometimes I’m lonely, but I know people who are married who are lonely. > > Focus on learning to be happy, then focus on finding someone (and getting laid.) > > As trite as that sounds, it is still good advice. This. You don’t want to get laid just for the sake of getting laid. One gets laid because they are in a relationship with somone and wants to show them how much they love them physically. Sex is not an end, despite what Madison Avenue and Hollywood (or whatever the Australian equivalents are) are telling you. > [@Not\_a\_Platypus](#): > > Even if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay! Not everybody does find someone, and some people probably shouldn’t. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding happiness by yourself. In fact, that’s more important than worrying about being with someone else. Indeed, the pope seems happy and I doubt he’s ever gotten any (or at least, hasn’t in the past 5 decades). My uncle didn’t get married (or, I presume, laid, he’s a bit of a traditionalist) until he was well into his 80s (to his childhood sweetheart that married someone else when they were younger) > [@Ogre](#): > > Ironically, when you start living for yourself, and do these things simply because you have some personal pride, you’ll find that the ladies (or whatever you prefer) will start being attracted to you. Really. Again, this. You won’t get laid if your’e a defeatist, even the goth girls will stay away. Women like confident men, and they’ll crawl all over one if they find one. Try not moping about what you don’t have, but being happy about what you do have, and women will want you. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/32 "2010-03-29T19:19:20Z")
Sounds more like depression about life than feeling bad about lack of nookie here to me. When I was going through a divorce and was about to be forced out of the country and lose my job (long story there), there were a lot of times that even if I’d had the chance at sex, I wouldn’t have wanted it. The whole rest of the “not caring about crap” was just part of the territory. It gets better, though. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/33 "2010-03-29T20:49:50Z")
Not sure how old you are, but look hard enough and you’ll find plenty of people thinking along the same lines _because_ they are in relationships. Should I shower? Pfft, who the hell do I need to smell good for? I already have a girl/boyfriend! Should I go to the gym? Nah, I already know that it really doesn’t matter what kind of shape I’m in. We’re engaged, can’t back out now! We’ll grow fat and old together! (And hopefully won’t run into health problems. Or split up. Or feel so unattractive, individually, that we’re sure the other will cheat.) Should I study? For what? My girl/boyfriend will just support me (okay, this one less so – unless you date someone who thinks all women should be SAHMs). Should I go out? Why bother? I’ve already got a partner. Who needs to socialize? (This can be a career killer.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/34 "2010-03-30T15:53:50Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Mind sharing some with mookie? You seem to have what’s known as a “surplus” right now … Share some nookie with mookie? Sounds like a noble cause, but mookie deserves better than sloppy seconds.😃 ---
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/35 "2010-03-30T18:30:25Z")
Hey, it’s been over 2 yrs for me (a widow not quite ready for the whole dating crap and not given to hook-ups, sooo:rolleyes:), and yeah, it sort of sucks, BUT come on… Shower, exercise, shave (if you normally do), get the hell OUT there and enjoy life! Hang out with friends or MAKE some if you need to. Join a Meet-up group. Take some classes. SOOO much to enjoy in life aside from sex, and SOOO little chance of GETTING sex if you are stinky, fat, unshaven/groomed, moping around and/or AT HOME ALONE whining about not getting laid. :smack: Do you masturbate? If you don’t, you should. No, NOT the same, but it releases the same feel-good chemicals and takes the edge off. 🆒 Seriously, this seems to be about more than just not getting laid. Forget about it for now and focus on getting you happy in other areas. To paraphrase, “When the layee is ready, the layer will appear.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Methyl\_Ethyl\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Methyl\_Ethyl\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Methyl_Ethyl_Death)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/36 "2010-03-30T20:29:45Z")
> [@Not\_a\_Platypus](#): > > Even if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay! Not everybody does find someone, and some people probably shouldn’t. **There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding happiness by yourself.** In fact, that’s more important than worrying about being with someone else. bolding, mine I found happiness by myself this morning! nudge nudge wink wink say no more Just one of the many benifits of being single. I haven’t been laid in years **Mookie**. Oh well life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/37 "2010-03-30T21:04:38Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I haven’t been laid in over 6 years, it concerned me, then I got over it. Absolutely. Stressing about not having sex is a killer–much more so than the actual celebacy. My interpersonal skills suck. Every time I’ve broken up, I’ve been quite convinced it was the last time. Then the next one comes along. Right now, I’m with probably the most attractive woman I’ve ever been with. How did we meet? She walked up to me, extended her hand, and said: “Hi, I’m \_\_\_\_, and everyone says I need to talk to you.” The secret seems to be associating with good people–and maintaining good relationships with friends and acquaintances. Don’t go out looking for sex. Associate with people and be good to them, and the rest will take care of itself. ETA: And, yes, \*\*Methyl \*\*has a HUGE point in the meantime. Opposable thumbs are there for a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/38 "2010-03-30T21:06:27Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Currently I am getting more ass than a toilet seat and I have to constantly remind myself to make an effort to groom, maintain my weight, etc. You may be able to help me out. I’m looking for a girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck. Apple Bottom jeans, a big ol’ slut. How bout a bitch who sit at the crib with no panties on, knows that she can, but she won’t say no? [Any ideas](http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/eminem/shake_that.html)? Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/39 "2010-03-30T21:24:34Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > You may be able to help me out. I’m looking for a girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck. Apple Bottom jeans, a big ol’ slut. > > How bout a bitch who sit at the crib with no panties on, knows that she can, but she won’t say no? > > [Any ideas](http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/eminem/shake_that.html)? > > Enjoy, > Steven OMG, that’s got me so horny, the crack a dawn better watch out.😃 I remember the first time I overheard my son listening to Eminem.:o ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/40 "2010-03-30T21:27:03Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > \ Hmmm, you’ve obviously been having much better sex than I had. I bounced right back to the internet after my final, miserable, encounters with my ex 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191.md?page=3)