# Not getting laid can really make you stop caring about life **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191 "2010-03-29T07:21:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/41 "2010-03-30T21:30:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Share some nookie with mookie? Sounds like a noble cause, but mookie deserves better than sloppy seconds.😃 I did it all for the mookie C’mon The mookie C’mon So you can take that cookie And stick it up your, yeah!! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/42 "2010-03-30T22:05:52Z")
Some more practical advice: get a job in a busy restaurant or bar. Those places are freaking flesh emporiums. I’ve never gotten laid so much in my entire life, or so often, as I did when I was a waiter. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/43 "2010-03-31T01:32:02Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Some more practical advice: get a job in a busy restaurant or bar. Those places are freaking flesh emporiums. I’ve never gotten laid so much in my entire life, or so often, as I did when I was a waiter. 😃 Bookstore’ll do that, too. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/44 "2010-03-31T01:35:27Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Bookstore’ll do that, too. Just sayin’. But watch out for paper cuts. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/45 "2010-03-31T02:06:45Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Some more practical advice: get a job in a busy restaurant or bar. Those places are freaking flesh emporiums. I’ve never gotten laid so much in my entire life, or so often, as I did when I was a waiter. 😃 Not much surprises me on these boards anymore, but this does. > [@StusBlues](#): > > Bookstore’ll do that, too. Just sayin’. So the Starbucks in the corner at Barnes & Noble is hookup city, then? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/46 "2010-03-31T02:14:20Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Should I shower? Pfft, who the hell do I need to smell good for? Yeah, we all know what [Axe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axe_(grooming_product))is about. What is this? Who are they marketing this stuff to? That’s what I first thought. I miss the Zest commericals. Now that’s a real product. Thank you P&G. Keep it PG. ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/47 "2010-03-31T06:47:10Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Yeah, we all know what [Axe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axe_(grooming_product))is about. What is this? Who are they marketing this stuff to? That’s what I first thought. > > I miss the Zest commericals. Now that’s a real product. Thank you P&G. > > Keep it PG. IIRC, the key demographic for Axe is 12/13 year olds lol and chill out everyone. I wasn’t completely serious lol. If anything this is positive. Being single enables me to sit around in my own hairy stink when I’m alone in my apartment far more often. And really, I derive a weird pleasure from doing that after I work out/play rugby. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/48 "2010-03-31T07:16:58Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Ironically, when you start living for yourself, and do these things simply because you have some personal pride, you’ll find that the ladies (or whatever you prefer) will start being attracted to you. Really. Bingo. Ask yourself what women want in a man and start working towards meeting those desires. This is not that difficult, really. Most women like well groomed and well dressed guys. So dress with care and pride, keep clean and maintain a good hair style. Women say they like fit men: eat well, lose weight and hit the gym. Women like fun guys. Work on it. Hang out with people you know and your social life will expand. The more people you meet the better your odds (yes, getting laid is about meeting as many women as possible) of hooking up. Simple things, but they must be performed by you. Getting laid isn’t that difficult; meeting a keeper is the challenge. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/49 "2010-03-31T19:01:50Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > So the Starbucks in the corner at Barnes & Noble is hookup city, then? Mate, I wrote a whole chapbook about pickups at the Starbucks in Barnes & Noble. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/50 "2010-03-31T19:09:29Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > The _only_ problem I see here is that you think not getting sex is a big deal. If you can quit obsessing about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, everything else will sort itself out. Sex is like air. It is only important if you aren’t getting any. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/51 "2010-03-31T21:32:33Z")
Yep, you’re depressed. Lack of sex/relationships is just another thing to beat yourself up about, furthering your downward spiral. Cognitive therapy really does work. Please get some help, because it sounds like you are really struggling. Also - a lot of people have trouble with meeting people, dating, sex, relationships. You’re not alone, and I doubt it’s because you are inferior or unattractive to everyone. I have a bunch of female friends with such trouble - virgins in their mid-20s, or haven’t been laid in years, or never had a serious relationship which they deeply desire, etc - and to a woman (while they’re all nerdy and lacking in self-confidence and the social/flirting skills that make this stuff easier), they are all attractive, interesting people and it doesn’t make much sense that they would be alone when they don’t want to be. Life isn’t fair and it doesn’t always make sense. BUT it is possible to go out and get what you want. Again, CBT can help with this. You need someone to help you come up with solutions to your problems. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/52 "2010-04-01T01:04:11Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Mate, I wrote a whole chapbook about pickups at the Starbucks in Barnes & Noble. Do they sell it at the Starbucks in Barnes & Noble. > [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Sex is like air. > > It is only important if you aren’t getting any. _gasp_ _wheeze_ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191/53 "2010-04-01T01:18:30Z")
Shit, man - I’m not getting laid either, you don’t see me whining about it. Go do something worthwhile - read a good book, volunteer somewhere, get a hobby, whatever. If you actually, genuinely want to get laid at some point, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself won’t help. In fact, I can’t think of any worthwhile goal that you _can_ advance by sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-getting-laid-can-really-make-you-stop-caring-about-life/534191.md?page=2)