# Not going to lie, this long-dead spider is fully hard right now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2016, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048 "2016-02-03T12:33:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/1 "2016-02-03T12:33:20Z")
[And I’m not just talking about his body.](http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/02/160201-arachnids-harvestman-penis-amber-fossil-animals-science/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fb20160202news-spiderfossil&utm_campaign=Content&sf20196370=1) I’m finding it very hard to give a witty, clever, or funny retort to this story, it’s just to easy. It gives you an opening to make a joke on a silver platter. I saw this story this morning and my first thought was “Finally, a news event worth reporting about! Now this is news.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/2 "2016-02-03T12:52:12Z")
Too easy. No way I’m walking the spider dick trail. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/3 "2016-02-03T13:17:23Z")
Technically, although arthropods, “harvestmen” = “Daddy Long Legs” are not spiders. But that IS an erect penis. Apparently spiders, like other animals (including people) can have erections after death, when it seems pretty superfluous. You joke about “rock-hard” goes here. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/4 "2016-02-03T13:23:41Z")
“If your erection lasts 99 million years, don’t bother calling your doctor.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/5 "2016-02-03T13:30:05Z")
“Hung like a harvestman”. Insult? Brag? I read Dr Steven Novella’s blog, [Neurologica.](http://theness.com/neurologicablog/) He has written often about science reporting in popular literature and how if there is any way to work “penis” or any other base topic into a science report it happens. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/6 "2016-02-03T18:17:33Z")
“…harvestmen like H. grimaldii have honest-to-goodness penises, which they insert into genital openings next to the females’ mouthparts.” How convenient! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/7 "2016-02-03T18:21:02Z")
That fella has nothing to be ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/8 "2016-02-03T18:21:29Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > “…harvestmen like H. grimaldii have honest-to-goodness penises, which they insert into genital openings next to the females’ mouthparts.” > > How convenient! “Honest, honey, I missed!” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/9 "2016-02-03T18:27:56Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > “…harvestmen like H. grimaldii have honest-to-goodness penises, which they insert into genital openings next to the females’ mouthparts.” > > How convenient! Now SEE…this is how you do it. You put the playground next to the water park, not the sewer plant. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/10 "2016-02-03T21:09:13Z")
Ask him if Amber has a sister. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/11 "2016-02-04T01:52:56Z")
_This ain’t just a roll of quarters. Come to daddy, baby!_ ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/12 "2016-02-04T02:08:30Z")
I’ve heard that hair, nails, and harvestmen’s penises keep growing after death. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/13 "2016-02-04T02:44:28Z")
Itsy, bitsy…oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/14 "2016-02-04T02:52:07Z")
They don’t call him him 9-legged Pete for nuthin. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/15 "2016-02-04T02:53:16Z")
If those guys in “Jurassic Park” ever get hold of this we’re all in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/16 "2016-02-04T03:00:22Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Itsy, bitsy…oh, never mind. Nice waterspout! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/17 "2016-02-04T03:01:48Z")
You know, there WAS [a movie](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1830713/?ref_=nv_sr_1) called… . ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/18 "2016-02-04T03:30:07Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > You know, there WAS [a movie](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1830713/?ref_=nv_sr_1) called… . I don’t have any formal training, but I’m pretty sure that’s not his ass. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/19 "2016-02-04T03:43:27Z")
He died with his boots on…all eight of them. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/20 "2016-02-04T03:52:29Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Technically, although arthropods, “harvestmen” = “Daddy Long Legs” are not spiders. You ate correct, although where I’m from daddy long legs DOES refer to a spider. In some bizarro places it means crane fly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048.md?page=2)