# Not going to lie, this long-dead spider is fully hard right now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2016, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048 "2016-02-03T12:33:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/21 "2016-02-04T03:54:46Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I don’t have any formal training, but I’m pretty sure that’s not his ass. But maybe Big-Ass Spider is female. I need a drink. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/22 "2016-02-04T08:30:06Z")
Or maybe a[Big Ass-Spider](https://xkcd.com/37/) ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/23 "2016-02-04T15:36:06Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > “…harvestmen like H. grimaldii have honest-to-goodness penises, which they insert into genital openings next to the females’ mouthparts.” > > How convenient! And all you silly Dopers thought that Intelligent Design was hogwash! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/24 "2016-02-04T15:59:57Z")
[Quote=NG article] These well-endowed arachnids have been around a long time [/quote] . Ladies, How _you_ doin’? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/25 "2016-02-04T23:18:33Z")
^^ Parker! I pay you to take pictures; get back to work! ---
**Author:** ![Lurking\_Quahog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lurking_quahog/32/21274_2.png) [@Lurking\_Quahog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lurking_Quahog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/26 "2016-02-05T19:02:43Z")
It looks like legs aren’t the only long thing on this daddy. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/27 "2016-02-05T20:09:23Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > . > Ladies, How _you_ doin’? 🆒 [SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE ™: SPIDER-MAN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnE3uyj9Grg) ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/28 "2016-02-05T21:25:19Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > You ate correct, although where I’m from daddy long legs DOES refer to a spider. In some bizarro places it means crane fly. A crane fly?! :smack: In my area (western WA), we use the name for a true harvestman, but also for a spider that specializes in building webs where they cannot possibly ever find food, like the back of a cupboard. With a small body and long legs, they look superficially similar. [http://www.spiderzrule.com/daddy1.htm](http://www.spiderzrule.com/daddy1.htm) ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/29 "2016-02-05T22:42:59Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > A crane fly?! :smack: > > In my area (western WA), we use the name for a true harvestman, but also for a spider that specializes in building webs where they cannot possibly ever find food, like the back of a cupboard. With a small body and long legs, they look superficially similar. [http://www.spiderzrule.com/daddy1.htm](http://www.spiderzrule.com/daddy1.htm) Yes, often called a cellar spider, and their webmaking skills are pretty awful. I’ve only seen an Opiliones once in my life, and it was outside on the lawn and bright red/orange, so no confusing it with the spider. Really cool little creatures. It’s also apparently [a plant in the antipodean WA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stylidium_divaricatum). News to me. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048/30 "2016-02-06T18:11:01Z")
I’ve had it with these mother fucking spiders and their 90 million year old mother fucking penises. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-going-to-lie-this-long-dead-spider-is-fully-hard-right-now/745048.md?page=1)