# Not invited to friends wedding at a park. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217 "2013-07-22T17:55:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/61 "2013-07-23T03:39:06Z")
Oh yeah … and at what point should I interrupt the proceedings to announce myself as the secret godmother? ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/62 "2013-07-23T03:45:44Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Poe’s law is in effect. Yeah, considering that the OP has some obvious problems in reading social cues, this is probably a little beyond acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/63 "2013-07-23T04:25:33Z")
Wedding invitations all include a secret password. You have to use that secret password whenever mentioning the wedding. Since you don’t know the password, and don’t say it when mentioning the wedding to someone else, they know you aren’t invited. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/64 "2013-07-23T04:33:40Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > It’s been so long since I’ve been to church, I had pretty much forgotten about this ritual. > > Some close friends of mine are christening their baby, and I’m pretty sure that they meant for me to be a godparent. Is “Godless heathen” code for “please be our child’s spiritual guide”? No matter; I have decided that it does mean just that. So when I attend as their honored secret guest godparent, what kind of gift should I bring? You seem knowledgeable in these matters. A drumset. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/65 "2013-07-23T06:02:44Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I must say, it’s been an interesting tour of yon internet. Some of the boards tried to be nice (at first), but the Irish came through like champs with straight from the hip mockery. One thing that stood out was that all of the profiles were made recently (even the yahoo answers one) except for an account on the social anxiety forum. That one dates to 2010. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/66 "2013-07-23T11:30:31Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > Yeah, considering that the OP has some obvious problems in reading social cues, this is probably a little beyond acceptable. Are you kidding? Who wouldn’t trade a moment of awkwardness at their wedding for a lifetime of stories? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/67 "2013-07-23T12:45:12Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > It’s been so long since I’ve been to church, I had pretty much forgotten about this ritual. > > Some close friends of mine are christening their baby, and I’m pretty sure that they meant for me to be a godparent. Is “Godless heathen” code for “please be our child’s spiritual guide”? No matter; I have decided that it does mean just that. So when I attend as their honored secret guest godparent, what kind of gift should I bring? You seem knowledgeable in these matters. You should give the child a copy of _Good Omens_ by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/68 "2013-07-23T12:50:18Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > Yeah, considering that the OP has some obvious problems in reading social cues, this is probably a little beyond acceptable. You wept at Umkay’s brave story, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/69 "2013-07-23T14:53:02Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Are you kidding? Who wouldn’t trade a moment of awkwardness at their wedding for a lifetime of stories? An invited guest to my wedding plotted to have me arrested and then, to kidnap my wife. True story. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/70 "2013-07-23T14:53:22Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > You know, I’d just show up, they probably just forgot. The more, the merrier, right? I’d show up at the park with a small crowd and stage my own wedding mere yards from their wedding. That’ll show them! ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/71 "2013-07-23T15:21:14Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > An invited guest to my wedding plotted to have me arrested and then, to kidnap my wife. True story. Ironic, considering the username. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/72 "2013-07-23T15:21:47Z")
If you’re a young female, I believe it’s acceptable to attend a wedding you weren’t invited to if you’re carrying an infant. And when the usher asks if you’re a friend of the bride or the groom, you loudly, indignantly, and tearfully reply “_ **I’m a friend of NEITHER!** _” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/74 "2013-07-23T16:16:37Z")
Thanks, **Trollbuster**. What would we do without you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/75 "2013-07-23T16:17:19Z")
> [@Trollbuster](#): > > Just a heads up, this person is a troll and posted this question on a slew of different message boards. > Just sayin’. A fact already noted multiple times in this thread, but thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/76 "2013-07-23T16:21:01Z")
And I have to again point out > [@](#): > > One thing that stood out was that all of the profiles were made recently (even the yahoo answers one) except for an account on the social anxiety forum. That one dates to 2010. At the expense of being humiliated by being trolled, I think we should afford a little more compassion at the off chance that she is indeed having problems, especially since she chose this board to actually reply to. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Jaymosch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaymosch/32/2820_2.png) [@Jaymosch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaymosch)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/77 "2013-07-23T16:24:41Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > And I have to again point out > > At the expense of being humiliated by being trolled, I think we should afford a little more compassion at the off chance that she is indeed having problems, especially since she chose this board to actually reply to. > > Just sayin’. Compassion for what exactly? Ignoring the same answer over and over and over again? ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/78 "2013-07-23T16:41:19Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > It’s been so long since I’ve been to church, I had pretty much forgotten about this ritual. > > Some close friends of mine are christening their baby, and I’m pretty sure that they meant for me to be a godparent. Is “Godless heathen” code for “please be our child’s spiritual guide”? No matter; I have decided that it does mean just that. So when I attend as their honored secret guest godparent, what kind of gift should I bring? You seem knowledgeable in these matters. Obviously, “Godless Heathen” means ‘Jewish’ (or, you know, close enough). So clearly, they want you to be the Mohel. Show up with appropriate equipment and just dive right in. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/80 "2013-07-23T17:10:44Z")
Signing up to a message board to tell the people there about a troll they already figured out is much sadder than signing up to a message board soliciting advice that for some reason you cannot handle. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/81 "2013-07-23T18:03:49Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Go, but wear the most elaborate dark midnight purple dress you can find, with a Victorian collar, and powder your face to be totally white, and wear crimson lipstick. Hide inside the covered slide on the playground and wait until all the toasts are done. Then, just as they’re getting ready to cut the cake, slide down the slide and emerge… One small problem: while the OP can just “sneak into” the wedding, how does he (she?) get into the reception to pull off this stunt? Here’s an idea: find the most picturesque spot in the park, and go stand far in the background wearing something that stands out. Somebody might just come over to ask you to move so they can take a picture. (This happened, unintentionally, with my oldest brother at his wedding.) When they find out it’s you, maybe they’ll tell you why you weren’t invited. (Unfortunately, there are people who told you the date and place; otherwise, you could just claim ignorance.) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/82 "2013-07-23T18:44:14Z")
It’s like Ann Landers is trying to get the internet to do her job for her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217.md?page=5)