# Not invited to friends wedding at a park. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217 "2013-07-22T17:55:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/103 "2013-07-25T16:08:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > That looks like a nice peppermill, so I guess it was worth the trouble. But the peppermill was cursed! ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/104 "2013-07-25T16:21:09Z")
How do you know that it was cursed? ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/105 "2013-07-25T16:21:36Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > But the peppermill was cursed! But it comes with a coupon for a free frozen yogurt! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/106 "2013-07-25T16:24:23Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > How do you know that it was cursed? He sneezes everytime he uses it. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/107 "2013-07-25T17:04:59Z")
> [@Folly](#): > > But it comes with a coupon for a free frozen yogurt! The frogurt has black pepper in it. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/108 "2013-07-25T17:22:45Z")
That’s not pepper! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/109 "2013-07-25T17:28:03Z")
Pretty sure the OP isn’t coming back to this one. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/110 "2013-07-25T17:33:16Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Pretty sure the OP isn’t coming back to this one. Who?😕 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/111 "2013-07-25T20:57:22Z")
First, I recant me response. It was hastily thought of and if destruction was the way to go, I’m sure I could come up with 30-40 ranging from misdemeanor to felony in less than a week. Destruction is always easier than creation though, so I’ll address attending a wedding one is not welcome at. There’s the rubber chicken, the sheet cake that will taste like someones birthday cake at the office, and the Taylor Champagne with phony labels glued on to jack up the price. There will be the toast, which will probably mention the OP, and while the toaster might swallow hard at telling jokes at your expense to your face, tell them he will (the bride’s maids will sneer at you at all the right moments too, 'Mean Girls" style). Fun. No one will dance with you, especially not the bride, so you’re stuck at the table with people you don’t know, possibly with armed bouncers. You’ll be making hours of small talk with the guy who smells of cigars, or the woman who has a funny smell like she’s been standing behind a counter all day & didn’t shower before coming or her date who has pet-fir on his suit. And as people introduce themselves, what will you say? You aren’t going to top the Cardiologist from Mt Sinai with, “Well, I’m Susan’s stalker! I’ve been lusting after her inappropriately for 5-6 years. I have no life of my own, and now that you know who I am and what i look like, I’m going to have to hunt down and kill every one of you. You said Mt Sinai, right…?” Open bar? Sure because alcohol solves everything. If you bring a camera, the scowls that you get might be priceless … but you don’t know these people … so its a total waste of your time even taking pictures. You aren’t going to meet people, you aren’t going to find another PO’d person there that likes you. You’ll get 10 minutes of Chicken Dance, and it won’t be pretty. Then people will walk to their cars, some may try to throw a punch at you if they think you aren’t looking, and that’s it. You go home alone. Honestly, life is too short. You can’t find something more fun to do on a Saturday? (I know I can) > [@Chimera](#): > > Pretty sure the OP isn’t coming back to this one. …Another bride and groom left standing at the altar. _Sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/112 "2013-07-25T21:11:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Pretty sure the OP isn’t coming back to this one. Well, she wasn’t invited back anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/113 "2013-07-25T21:23:43Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Pretty sure the OP isn’t coming back to this one. I’m actually kind of fascinated by the OP’s behavior. I _think_ she abandoned the thread here when we figured out that she’d posted the same question to many other places. And a Google search on the first sentence found another thread started on another messageboard within the past hour or so. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/114 "2013-07-25T23:27:40Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I’m actually kind of fascinated by the OP’s behavior. I _think_ she abandoned the thread here when we figured out that she’d posted the same question to many other places. And a Google search on the first sentence found another thread started on another messageboard within the past hour or so. Not only that; she took my example of what a person that was not intentionally witholding the time of the event would say ([here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16501760&postcount=40)), and incorporated most of it into the facts. Story now reads > [@](#): > > I have asked people what time it is and they don’t remember. They made a guess of 10 or 11. By the way, she’s only ever posted twice, both times to post this question, on the social anxiety forum. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/115 "2013-07-25T23:39:07Z")
Also, I’m starting to think that all we have to do to achieve peace in the Middle East is get all parties in a room and ask if its cool for **jashley** to crash a wedding in the park. The warring parties would embrace like brothers upon realizing there are some things we can all agree on. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/116 "2013-07-25T23:53:54Z")
The perfect wedding gift for a wedding and reception you weren’t invited to is a piñata. Especially if the wedding is between your former SO and the person s/he dumped you for. Have it delivered to the reception. Oh, the piñata should be filled with bees. Angry bees. Bees with bad attitudes. Bees that had their own personal chair outside the principal’s office. Outlaw biker bees. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/117 "2013-07-26T08:52:24Z")
Let me tell you something about Eliza. We were friends from church. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then, for my wedding, which was at a park, I was like, “Eliza, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re socially inept and can’t take a hint.” I mean I couldn’t have a socially inept person at my wedding. There were gonna be girls there in their _bridesmaids’ dresses_. I mean, right? She was a WEDDING CRASHER. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of church because no one would talk to her, and when she came back, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s asking about this on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/118 "2013-07-26T14:12:12Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Oh, the piñata should be filled with bees. Angry bees. Bees with bad attitudes. Bees that had their own personal chair outside the principal’s office. Outlaw biker bees. But not full-on Nazi Brownshirt Bees, right? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/119 "2013-07-26T17:35:50Z")
C’mon SMDB, let’s use our best collective Google-fu. If we can figure out where/when the wedding is I say we have a DopeFest/wedding crash in the park. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/120 "2013-07-26T18:49:42Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > C’mon SMDB, let’s use our best collective Google-fu. If we can figure out where/when the wedding is I say we have a DopeFest/wedding crash in the park. :dubious: [Hmmm…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=tZZv5Z2Iz_s&t=2) ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-invited-to-friends-wedding-at-a-park/664217/122 "2013-09-26T08:17:06Z")
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