There IS a word for this - racking my brains, I’ll find it - and it’s been used (not so inaccurately) to describe me. It’s in the same general principle as color-blindness, but it means that many social signals simply don’t register. So there are certain tricks one learns, to get by in the world (and actually are trying to be nice, but noone can tell). The word has about fifteen syllables, and it’s something on the same page as “anhedonia” and I’ll post now and poke around for it.
Same here. But we need to be careful about falling for confirmation bias. You may only be thinking about the things you have in common with the description and not the ways in which you vary from it. But I see a lot of myself in much of the descriptions, though.
Creepy.
Now that I think about Duck Duck Goose’s post, more:
I don’t think I’m necessarily looking for the name of a “disorder” but more the adjective that describes a quality that is associated with a disorder (or several disorders).
So let’s say I’m looking for the term XXXXXX.
I’m not necessarily looking for it this way: “Oh, he’s like that because he has XXXXXX.”
But rather I’m looking for: “Oh, he’s XXXXXX (adjective describing the quality of being unable to make emotional connections or have any kind of external emotional awareness or bond) because he has X Syndrome/was injured/whatever.”
ETA: For example you could say: “Cellphone is passive-aggressive because he has Borderline Personality Disorder.” I’m not looking for “borderline” I’d be looking for the term “passive-aggressive.”
So “Odd co-worker behaves in a XXXXXXX way because she may have Asperger’s or just be extremely eccentric.”
I got that, but it’s because most people are jerks.
Back in the days before there was a psychological description for every behavior, we simply called this type of person “kind of a dork.”
I’m not sure any other description is really necessary.
I read this information recently about how Asperger’s manifests differently in males and females. Your post brought this passage to mind:
“Some individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome can be quite ingenious in using imitation and modelling to camouflage their difficulties in social situations. One strategy that has been used by many girls and some boys is to observe people who are socially skilled and to copy their mannerisms, voice and persona. This is a form of social echolalia or mirroring where the person acquires a superficial social competence by acting the part of another person. This is illustrated in Liane Holliday-Willeys intriguing new autobiography, titled, “Pretending to be Normal”.”
This is a quote from some other work, but I found it on this site: http://wisewitch.blogspot.com/2008/02/aspie-girls.html
In my office, they call us ‘engineers’. Or, in extreme cases, ‘mathematicians’.
BRILLIANT, and just before lunch over here too! I would have lost it all as I collapsed on the floor.
My guess–doesn’t necessarily care about the people she works with, but interacts with them half-assed just enough to get through the day so she can get home and spend time with people she really cares about.
Diagnosis: Normal.
Not if she’s asking what on earth you do with it, when presented with a coworker’s newborn baby. Even childless-by-choice people like me know how to make the appropriate “how adorable” type comments for that situation.
No, that is not the situation. We have been in social situations with her outside the office. She would go out of her way to invite people from the office to various functions and her interaction with ALL people is exactly the same, including the people who she describes as her “nearest and dearest”.
Granted, my co-worker helped set up the eVite for a party for her “nearest and dearest” friends, and many declined the invitation on the grounds that they didn’t know her well enough to attend. My fiancee and I attended (to maintain workplace harmony and not offend her), and found most of the people who actually attended were not much “nearer or dearer” than we were.
Hmmm… maybe I’m a freak, too. I mean, I know not to ask “what do you do with it?”, but only because I know intellectually that that’s a freakish question. Whenever presented with newborns (and I’m childless, no conscious choice), I have no idea how to respond. My internal dialogue is along the lines of, “Okay, that’s nice. Now what do I do? Obviously he’s proud, but there’s absolutely nothing here that I can relate to. So what do people say in these situations?” And then I try to say what I imagine people should say, and usually come off as a freak. I mean, jeesh, why is it expected that I have an emotional connection with someone else’s kid? I don’t even know him yet, and he can’t speak and have a discussion in any event.
One guy actually hypothesized that I was borderline aspergers because of the way I reacted to him. He of course couldn’t see my point of view which is that I found him banal and irritating and kept him at a distance. Yeah, buddy. Someone isn’t acting like you’re god so obviously THEY have some kind of disorder.
Yes, but that is one kind of awkward thing, but not in a greater scheme of odd behavior. I’m one of those guys who gets all squicky with babies too. I don’t know what to say or how to handle them. I can say “Congrats, you must be proud…” and then hope no one wants to hand the kid to me because I’m afraid of dropping him/her. I’m such an awkward boob, I don’t like meeting newborns because I know I’ll stick my foot in my mouth.
My odd former co-worker’s behavior though has a bigger context of odd behavior.
Lemme add some backstory:
She had been buying clothes for her “own baby” for all the six years she was working here. “Look at this outfit I got for my baby, isn’t it cute?” “Oh, are you expecting?” “No.” (Okay, maybe she’s planning ahead.)
While she was working here, she had a bridal shower. “Congratulations, when’s the big day?” “Oh, there’s no date set.” So there was no wedding planned for the forseeable future… and no ring, and no one at the office knew her fiance’s name. A co-worker attended the shower and said it was weird because there no friends or family members present, just neighbors and co-workers. When she stopped working here a year later she wasn’t married. (Okay, so there could still be a logical explanation, tragic break-up or something.)
So with that stage set, wanting to see my co-worker’s new baby, then asking: “What do you do with it?” like the kid was a thing is on a whole other level of weirdness, than your standardly awkward-don’t-like-kids person.
That certainly does a better job of colouring this individual with the Crayon labelled Bizarre.
Wow.
That’s, ummmm… yeah, that passes from the realm of socially clueless to out of touch with reality.
Perhaps there really is a fiancee who she really did expect to propose?
Perhaps this guy is actually just a guy that doesn’t know her and works behind the counter at the gas station on the corner next her house?
Wow.
I think there was a real a guy. While she was really eccentric, I just can’t imagine that she would invent an imaginary fiance. She’s really weird, but I certainly don’t think she’s delusional. It’s just the circumstances were highly unusual.
Those six years that she would spend her lunch hour shopping for clothes and toys for your as-yet-unconceived children used to weird me out a bit though. I always mentally pictured a fully-stocked nursery just sitting empty all that time. Waiting.