# Not sure if I'm possessed by satan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 24, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776 "2016-07-24T15:26:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/21 "2016-07-25T01:56:24Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Trust me. You’re not possessed by Satan. If in doubt, cut a cross out of cardboard and take it to bed with you. Might want to wear a string of garlic as well - just to be safe. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/22 "2016-07-25T01:59:20Z")
Make sure you pay your exorcist–you don’t want to be re-possessed. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/23 "2016-07-25T02:13:16Z")
Boooo! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/24 "2016-07-25T02:14:06Z")
I know, right? It’s the worst. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/25 "2016-07-25T02:17:20Z")
Just tell me you aren’t here all week…and I am not trying the veal 🙂 I’m totally using that in the future however. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/26 "2016-07-25T02:20:18Z")
My work here is done. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/27 "2016-07-25T02:30:09Z")
I had a patient who had hypnogogic (falling asleep) hallucinations and hypnopompic (awakening) hallucinations . She described the flame creature and the little girl who would dance in and out of her field of vision so vividly. She was frightened at first but reassured once she understood they were essentially creations of her own brain. [some further reading for those who are interested](http://sleepeval.com/Parasomnia_hypnagogic_hallucinations.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/28 "2016-07-25T03:47:32Z")
Indeed, you certainly have sleep paralysis. But, that doesn’t mean you’re not _also_ the Lord of Darkness. Here’s my tried and true test for determining satanic identity: 1. Look in the mirror: would your complexion be best described as _fire engine red_? 2. Pull down your pants and reach between your legs: just above your anus, do you have a long tail with an arrow-shaped tip? 3. Take off your shoes and socks: do your feet look like those of a billy goat? 4. Do you regularly carry a pitch fork and enjoy poking people with it? 5. Do your after hours activities include cannibalism and incestuous orgies? If the answer to 3 or more of these questions is “yes”—…_before thee, Lucifer, I bow my head…_ ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/29 "2016-07-25T09:20:01Z")
I had a dream once wherein a red devil with horns and a long pointed tail peered in my window at me. He was carrying a pitch fork. I was very young and was constantly exposed to my southern baptist grandmother who firmly believed we were all going to hell. Make of it what you will. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/30 "2016-07-25T09:30:53Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Lately, I’ve had several episodes of vertigo in bed that were pretty scarey. I wake up at night, and when I turn my head to the side, suddenly it feels like the whole bed is rotating up 90⁰ on it side and I feel like am going to get pitched onto the floor. Holding on to the side of the bed for dear life is the only thing that keeps me from falling out of bed. Then it passes, and everything is normal. Satan, I tells ya. I’d suspect something less devilish … [Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benign_paroxysmal_positional_vertigo) YMMV ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/31 "2016-07-25T09:42:52Z")
Don’t be afraid of it, explore the space as you can, it will be instructive to your life, and as you find a way to explore you will open up more of your life. Yes there could be demons there, but you will discover their weakness and their openings into your life and how to get rid of them. A good start is if you can’t move and can’t explore just ask God to allow it, if it is fearful, ask God for help, it will open worlds, enable visions and insight and change your view on this world. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/32 "2016-07-25T13:21:50Z")
On a more serious note, I’ve found the only way I can break the sleep paralysis and resulting terror is by starting with my tongue. Yeah. Sounds stupid. But if I can move my tongue, press it against the roof of my mouth, it helps trigger being able to move the rest of the body, and when I can move my body, it breaks the paralysis and terror. Whoever called it “night terrors” had it correct, because it’s really quite awful. And being unable to move… shudder. That feeling of horror, of dread, of being in the presence of something evil: it’s amazing what the human brain can create. But it is a creation of the brain, not anything occult. And do try starting with your tongue! It helps me, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/33 "2016-07-25T13:40:02Z")
I started a thread on this a few years ago after seeing the hag, I think more people tend to have the dream in the afternoon and in fact I just had one the other day, because you are more likely to have sleep paralysis if you sleep on your back, which most people do when they go to have a quick nap in the afternoon on the couch. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/34 "2016-07-25T18:34:44Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Satan, I tells ya. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m pretty sure Satan has possessed my knees. Boy, that Satan guy sure gets around. He’s almost like Santa!! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/35 "2016-07-25T18:52:53Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Boy, that Satan guy sure gets around. He’s almost like Santa!! Yeah, but he’s awfully sick of getting all those Xmas cards from dyslexic kids. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/36 "2016-07-25T19:49:14Z")
I get it, too, and it sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776/37 "2016-07-25T21:06:35Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Boy, that Satan guy sure gets around. He’s almost like Santa!! The greatest trick Santa ever pulled was to convince the world that he doesn’t exist. Parents buy all the prezzies themselves, and Santa just sits around with the elves getting drunk, laughing about all the letters that kids send him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-sure-if-im-possessed-by-satan/760776.md?page=1)