# Not the brightest crayon in the box: euphemisms for the dim-witted **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831 "2019-11-22T18:45:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/1 "2019-11-22T18:45:40Z")
_Not the brightest crayon in the box. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A few fries short of a happy meal. As sharp as a cue ball._ We’ve all heard these in one form or another at some point: euphemisms for the slow and dim-witted. How many more of these can we come up with? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/2 "2019-11-22T18:48:27Z")
One I always thought unique to my family – a few acres short of a field and from work No danger of leaving here for NASA ---
**Author:** ![Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tired_and_Cranky)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/3 "2019-11-22T18:50:05Z")
Dumb as a box of rocks. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Dumb as a bag of hammers. As stupid as the day is long. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/4 "2019-11-22T18:53:23Z")
The lights are on, but nobody’s home ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/5 "2019-11-22T18:55:37Z")
About three bricks shy of a load. Lost some tiles on re-entry. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/6 "2019-11-22T18:58:36Z")
A couple letters shy of an alphabet. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/7 "2019-11-22T18:58:49Z")
Can short of a six pack. Elevator doesn’t go up to the top floor. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/8 "2019-11-22T19:04:37Z")
Stupid. …what? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/9 "2019-11-22T19:07:53Z")
Couple of tacos short of a combo plate. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/10 "2019-11-22T19:22:32Z")
Waves don’t quite make it to the shore line ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/11 "2019-11-22T19:43:28Z")
A few sandwiches short of a picnic. His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/12 "2019-11-22T19:56:03Z")
That boy ain’t right. Sharp as a marble. (That’s the round object I’ve usually heard.) ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/13 "2019-11-22T19:57:52Z")
Nice kid, but he leaks. ---
**Author:** ![Periwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Periwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Periwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/14 "2019-11-22T20:46:09Z")
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. A few cards short of a deck. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/15 "2019-11-22T20:54:13Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > That boy ain’t right. > > Sharp as a marble. (That’s the round object I’ve usually heard.) Foghorn Leghorn said, “sharp as a bowling ball.” He also said, “sharp as a sack of wet mice.” ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/16 "2019-11-22T20:56:15Z")
A few roos loose in the top paddock. There’s a village somewhere missing it’s idiot. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/17 "2019-11-22T20:57:58Z")
Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag. As dumb as dog shit. (Double Ds) from [Renaissance Man](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110971/quotes?ref_=tt_ql_trv_4) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/18 "2019-11-22T21:12:51Z")
Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. Can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/19 "2019-11-22T21:14:09Z")
Management material. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/20 "2019-11-22T21:22:11Z")
Some of these are more used for someone who is crazy rather than stupid. Especially the two \_\_\_\_s short of a \_\_\_\_\_\_. At least, that’s how folks around here interpreted it. For dumb, my family used to say, “As stupid as two left shoes.” Lately, I’ve been saying, “Doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together.” I don’t know where I picked that up. It may be mine, but I’m not sure. Has anyone heard this phrase? If so, where? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831.md?page=2)