# Not the brightest crayon in the box: euphemisms for the dim-witted **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831 "2019-11-22T18:45:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/21 "2019-11-22T21:47:46Z")
Takes him an hour and a half to watch “60 Minutes.” ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/22 "2019-11-22T22:00:06Z")
Couldn’t find their backside with both hands. Here is an older one and refers to Princess Diana who left school with no academic results. He has as many O-levels as Princess Di This person is a hewer of wood and drawer of water, or more succinctly, he is a hewer and drawer. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/23 "2019-11-22T22:00:11Z")
has all the brains god gave a #2 pencil ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/24 "2019-11-22T22:01:30Z")
If brains were dynamite he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose. If brains were rubber he wouldn’t have enough to make a flip flop for a one legged budgie ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/25 "2019-11-22T22:06:55Z")
A few croutons short of a salad (this is my current favorite, since it was recently used to describe someone name Caesar). One that was a favorite from my middle school days: If brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to power an ant’s motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/26 "2019-11-22T22:09:03Z")
A few lights short of a Christmas tree. Rowing with only one oar in the water. Here are a [few more](http://www.jokeindex.com/joke.asp?Joke=3708). ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/27 "2019-11-22T22:24:27Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Couldn’t find their backside with both hands. > . …and a flashlight. ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/28 "2019-11-22T23:01:17Z")
Dim bulb ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/29 "2019-11-22T23:32:21Z")
A few elements short of a periodic table. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/30 "2019-11-22T23:39:02Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Couldn’t find their backside with both hands. \ > [@jsc1953](#): > > …and a flashlight. …and a six-man search team. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/31 "2019-11-23T01:15:31Z")
He’s Tory. (or Labour, or Whig, or whatever political party you disparage) Couldn’t spell “cat” if you spotted him the “c” and the “t” and let him buy a vowel. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/32 "2019-11-23T01:23:12Z")
His cheese slipped off his cracker. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/33 "2019-11-23T01:24:55Z")
As dumb as a bag of hammers Not the brightest lighthouse on the coastline ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/34 "2019-11-23T01:34:21Z")
A few sub-units of currency short of a standard unit. I’ve heard “A few shillings short of a pound,” “a few centimes short of a franc” and “A few kopeks short of a ruble.” ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/35 "2019-11-23T01:38:10Z")
As dumb as a box of hair. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/36 "2019-11-23T01:38:17Z")
I’ve always liked “A few clowns short of a circus.” ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/37 "2019-11-23T01:45:00Z")
his expression is like a goldfish with a concussion… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/38 "2019-11-23T02:33:16Z")
He’s half a bubble off plumb. Nothing between the earmuffs. The gate is down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain’t coming. He’s a couple teats short of an udder. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/39 "2019-11-23T02:53:55Z")
A brain like a dehydrated bb (thanks to Captain Lou Albano). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/40 "2019-11-23T02:55:48Z")
Fucked up like a soup sandwich. Fucked up like a football bat. He thinks the Mexican border pays rent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831.md?page=3)