# Not the brightest crayon in the box: euphemisms for the dim-witted **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831 "2019-11-22T18:45:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/61 "2019-11-23T11:40:01Z")
He has a room temperature I.Q. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/62 "2019-11-23T12:20:12Z")
A traditional Spanish one I found myself thinking at someone today: _Aaaay, ¡alma (de) cántaro!_ Conceptual translation: Brains like a mason jar! And no, _cántaro_ doesn’t mean mason jar 🙂 “_Alma_” means “soul”, “that which animates, i.e., which gives movement and thought,” but also the center of something that’s got any kind of tubular structure: the center of a tree’s trunk, the sword inside a swordcane… or the empty space in the center of any kind of storage container (in this case, a chubby, earthenware pot). ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/63 "2019-11-23T13:24:10Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > A few sub-units of currency short of a standard unit. I’ve heard “A few shillings short of a pound,” “a few centimes short of a franc” and “A few kopeks short of a ruble.” In Thai we compare someone with /sǎam sà-lʉ̌ng/ : three ¼-bahts, not a full baht. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/64 "2019-11-23T14:36:58Z")
“A couple of French Fries short of a plate of poutine!” (Roger Abbot, Royal Canadian Air Farce) “If you packed all your brains in a pollywog’s head, he’d never ever grow to be a frog!” (Shirley Jones, Carousel) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/65 "2019-11-23T15:56:30Z")
::spoken in an Og-like voice:: Strong like bull, smart like dumptruck. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/66 "2019-11-23T16:04:28Z")
When they were handing out brains, s/he thought they said trains and asked for a slow one. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/67 "2019-11-23T19:10:25Z")
I can look at that list, it breaks my browser. Is the phrase “motor is running, nobody at the wheel” or similar on there? ---
**Author:** ![Tierce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@Tierce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tierce)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/68 "2019-11-23T22:07:51Z")
I’ve always liked “not the sharpest taco on the combination plate”. And from _Blackadder the Third_, “thick as a whale omelet” is pretty good too. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/69 "2019-11-23T23:36:44Z")
Dumber than a ditch carp. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/70 "2019-11-23T23:47:22Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > OK, so the thread now becomes: got anything that isn’t on the list? > > Ans: Yes -\* As dim as a Toc-H lamp. > \* > One my father used. First world war origin. > > j I will begin by admitting that I did not read each and every post. _Bright as a small appliance bulb._ > [@Chefguy](#): > > ::spoken in an Og-like voice:: Strong like bull, smart like dumptruck. Our version was “Strong like bull, dumb like steer”. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/71 "2019-11-24T05:28:29Z")
Have we yet had “The lights are on but nobody"s home”? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/72 "2019-11-24T05:34:32Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > OK, so the thread now becomes: got anything that isn’t on the list? I think posting a list like that defeats the purpose of the OP, and takes all the fun out of it. I for one am ignoring it. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/73 "2019-11-24T05:47:41Z")
“He’s three lines shy of a haiku and they don’t even have to rhyme.” ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/74 "2019-11-24T06:13:07Z")
He’s psychologically inert. Can’t think and breathe at the same time, you can always tell when he’s thinking, he’s lying flat on his back and blue in the face. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/75 "2019-11-24T06:28:22Z")
Dumb enough to drink their own bathwater. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/76 "2019-11-24T12:56:33Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > … > > Lately, I’ve been saying, “Doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together.” I don’t know where I picked that up. It may be mine, but I’m not sure. Has anyone heard this phrase? If so, where? Heh! I use that one occasionally. My memory is pretty shitty, but if pressed, I’d say I probably picked it up here. Y’all are (as a whole) much wittier than most of my meatspace interactions. One I use, although it doesn’t follow the standard format of most prior posts, is to say very softly, and with much sadness in my voice, “That poor lil ol’ brain cell. Rattlin’ around, all by it’s lonesome in there.” Helps to kick up the Southern drawl. Usually gets a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![MeepersC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meepersc/32/12088_2.png) [@MeepersC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeepersC)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/77 "2019-11-24T13:30:26Z")
Ain’t got the sense God gave a sweet potato ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2019, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/78 "2019-11-25T00:08:26Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I think posting a list like that defeats the purpose of the OP, and takes all the fun out of it. I for one am ignoring it. Well bless your heart. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2019, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/79 "2019-11-25T01:28:22Z")
Third from the left on the Darwin Chart ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2019, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831/80 "2019-11-25T01:39:33Z")
I’ve heard “doesn’t have the sense God gave sheep” and my Dad used to say “half a bubble off center” but I think that means odd, not necessarily dumb. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-euphemisms-for-the-dim-witted/843831.md?page=5)