# Not the brightest idea: Pakistani man found with lightbulb... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724 "2006-06-30T04:45:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/1 "2006-06-30T04:45:30Z")
…up his anus. [I swear, you can’t make this stuff up.](http://go.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=12687446&src=rss/oddlyEnoughNews) ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/2 "2006-06-30T04:51:19Z")
I’m not sure what is more sadly amusing, the guy who is serving 4 years for bootleg alcohol, the claim that he doesn’t know how the lightbulb got there, or the doctor who admits to the newspaper that he doesn’t believe the felon’s story. The only good part is how the doctor had never seen anything like this before. Clearly, he’s not watching enough ER or House. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/3 "2006-06-30T04:51:29Z")
Lightbulb, schmightbulb. At one of our prisons _we_ had a guy with a gun stuck up there. Which he eventually admitted to hiding there. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/4 "2006-06-30T04:51:49Z")
_This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine…_ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/5 "2006-06-30T05:02:53Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Lightbulb, schmightbulb. > > At one of our prisons _we_ had a guy with a gun stuck up there. Which he eventually admitted to hiding there. …how far up there? ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/6 "2006-06-30T09:55:59Z")
Apparently his family thought the sun shone out of his arse. Just goes to show… ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/7 "2006-06-30T12:09:40Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > The only good part is how the doctor had never seen anything like this before. It’s dark in there. You’re not going to see anything unless you switch the light on. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/8 "2006-06-30T12:21:09Z")
Great thread for IMHO in the Prison Forum… _ **So what’s in your ass?** _ We’ve all muled contraband in here at one time or another, so tell me, fellow **Prisoners** , what’s in _your_ ass? Drugs? A gun? Your cell-mate? Just wondering, **Prisoner 6079** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/9 "2006-06-30T12:21:24Z")
> [@Chez Guevara](#): > > It’s dark in there. You’re not going to see anything unless you switch the light on. Too bad, really. Before the advent of the rectal lightbulb, you could dispense with a troublesome question on a piece of paper by folding it five ways and putting it where the moon don’t shine.\* [sigh] Now, what with the rectal lightbulb, where can we stick something with that level of confidence it will remain unread? It’s a veritable loss of innocence, I tell ya… - So said Dick Cavett, rather famously, to Norman Mailer once. In 1971. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/10 "2006-06-30T12:47:50Z")
Once upon a time when only 25% of the net was filled with pr0n, there was a site named “Things people have stuck up their ass” where one could go to view (not _literally_ except where X-rays/ultrasounds or the contents themselves were depicted) all of the many things EMTs have extracted from people’s posteriors. It’s long gone now as a Google Search\* reveals, however there’s [this](http://www.hour.ca/columns/messybedroom.aspx?iIDArticle=2810) amusing article on the subject. I’m too lazy to google further. [size=1]\* Amusingly, the first result of googling “things people stuck up their bum” is Google’s book results, the first two entries for which are “U2 Live” and a page excerpt from “The Practical Practise of Marriage and Family Therapy.” Google is teh funnay. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/11 "2006-06-30T12:49:00Z")
My coding is teh suck. [puppydogeyes] Mods? [/puppydogeyes] ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/12 "2006-06-30T12:51:15Z")
So that’s what was in the briefcase. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/13 "2006-06-30T13:24:08Z")
You know, the article doesn’t say. How many Pakistanis did it take to change the lightbulb? ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/14 "2006-06-30T13:24:38Z")
Could someone please explain to me how on earth people manage to stick large objects into this orifice? I have heard the stories, but it makes no sense to me! Any info would be appreciated! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/15 "2006-06-30T13:27:10Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Lightbulb, schmightbulb. > > At one of our prisons _we_ had a guy with a gun stuck up there. Which he eventually admitted to hiding there. Be thankful it didn’t go off! So tell us, Dr. **QtM** what else have you found “up there”? ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/16 "2006-06-30T14:03:54Z")
The age old question: Does the light go out when you shut the sphincter? I think it was in the 60’s a small book came out, titled “Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask?” It had that same anecdote which was attributed to an ER doc. In that case it was a gay guy and his lover had been experimenting. I think the author was Philip Roth although I failed to find it through Google. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/17 "2006-06-30T14:34:17Z")
> [@A.R. Cane](#): > > The age old question: Does the light go out when you shut the sphincter? > > I think it was in the 60’s a small book came out, titled “Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask?” It had that same anecdote which was attributed to an ER doc. In that case it was a gay guy and his lover had been experimenting. I think the author was Philip Roth although I failed to find it through Google. Dr. David Reuben. In keeping with the times, he went from writing sex books to writing nutrition books ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/18 "2006-06-30T15:36:28Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > At one of our prisons _we_ had a guy with a gun stuck up there. Which he eventually admitted to hiding there. Did those Weapons Inspectors in Iraq examine any likely looking bottoms? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/19 "2006-06-30T15:45:44Z")
Well, thanks to _The Pink Panther_ movies, we know what it sounded like when it popped out. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724/20 "2006-06-30T15:46:12Z")
Now, granted, I’ve never been imprisoned myself except for the odd overnight stay at County, but…do men in prison really need to go around looking for MORE foreign objects to go up their butts?!? This contradicts the vast majority of prison-based film and TV\* I’ve\* seen! 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-brightest-idea-pakistani-man-found-with-lightbulb/362724.md?page=2)