# Not the Easter Bunny!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 18, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630 "2003-04-18T20:19:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/1 "2003-04-18T20:19:18Z")
[Happy fucking Easter](http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/2115870/detail.html), Easter Bunny…
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*A man dressed as the bunny told police a man assaulted him Saturday at a mall in Wausau.
>
> Travis Peterson said he was sitting in a chair and waving to kids when the man jumped in his lap, got him in a headlock, punched him three times in the mouth and then ran away.\*\*
Damn, what an ass. Can someone please call the ASPCA on this jerk? I mean, really!
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/2 "2003-04-18T20:21:44Z")
Wasn’t this a Kevin Smith movie?
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/3 "2003-04-18T20:23:02Z")
Hopefully these guys have a strong union, so the attacker won’t get anything but coal in his stocking next Christmas, and the tooth fairy won’t leave him a quarter for any teeth that fall out.
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/4 "2003-04-18T20:31:19Z")
Suspect is in custody, and appears to have had an excellent motive for the assault.
[http://www.wisinfo.com/postcrescent/news/archive/local\_9806411.shtml](http://www.wisinfo.com/postcrescent/news/archive/local_9806411.shtml)
> [@](#):
>
> Police arrested a 21-year-old Wausau man on suspicion of disorderly conduct. The Easter Bunny suspected his assailant was trying to show off for friends.
How to win friends and influence people–punch out the Easter Bunny. We bad, uh huh, we bad…
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/5 "2003-04-18T20:33:00Z")
Well, at least he didn’t do the logical thing and punch him in the kidneys.
Daniel
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### Author:  [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)
#### Post date: [April 18, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/6 "2003-04-18T21:11:33Z")
That psuedo-pun-something was definitely _not_ in compliance with Queenbury’s Rules…
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### Author:  [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/7 "2003-04-19T17:06:21Z")
Anyone else sickened by the fact that he did it in front of the kids? I mean, traumatize young children here – how utterly abhorrent!
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/8 "2003-04-19T17:28:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lel \*
> \*\*Anyone else sickened by the fact that he did it in front of the kids? I mean, traumatize young children here – how utterly abhorrent! \*\*
Maybe I’m just weird (_Maybe?_) but if I were waiting in line for the Easter Bunny and some guy ran up and socked him, it’d be the coolest event of my young life. I’d be talking about it to this day.
Double points if it were Santa, instead.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/9 "2003-04-20T02:56:13Z")
Be even cooler if the Easter Bunny kicked HIS ass.
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### Author:  [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/10 "2003-04-20T03:00:54Z")
Even cooler if the man inside the Easter Bunny’s costume was a ninja or Jackie Chan and flipped out some kung fu moves on the jail butt punk.
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### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/11 "2003-04-20T03:38:23Z")
Maybe it was decendant of Elmer Fudd looking to restore his families honor.
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/12 "2003-04-20T04:04:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \*
> \*\*Well, at least he didn’t do the logical thing and punch him in the kidneys.
>
> Daniel \*\*
I thought a “rabbit punch” was to the back of the neck, actually.
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### Author:  [@TwelveToneRow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwelveToneRow)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/13 "2003-04-20T04:10:08Z")
Perhaps his rabbit’s foot didn’t work as expected.
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/14 "2003-04-20T06:15:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by wolfman \*
> \*\*Maybe it was decendant of Elmer Fudd looking to restore his families honor. \*\*
“Hello. My name is Inigo Fuddtoya. You dynamite my father. Prepare to die.”
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### Author:  [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/15 "2003-04-20T10:29:44Z")
No, no, no, whacking the Easter Bunny is pathetic. OTOH, it might just be hilarious if someone beat up Joan Rivers.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/16 "2003-04-20T13:34:27Z")
I was once assaulted by a giant plush Province of Manitoba as a child.
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### Author:  [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/17 "2003-04-20T17:40:08Z")
I think I would be fine with it if someone attacked a Barney at Toys ‘R’ Us or something, but the Easter Bunny? Jeez, how pathetic. Really made that guy look “cool.”
And yes, I’m joking about the Barney thing.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/18 "2003-04-20T19:14:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by anya marie \*
> \*\*No, no, no, whacking the Easter Bunny is pathetic. OTOH, it might just be hilarious if someone beat up Joan Rivers. \*\*
You might have a point there. Let’s try it and find out.
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### Author:  [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-easter-bunny/169630/19 "2003-04-20T19:48:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \*
> \*\*I was once assaulted by a giant plush Province of Manitoba as a child. \*\*
!!!
Am I the only one laughing until I’m crying over this?