# Not the sharpest tool in the shed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954 "2011-12-21T16:16:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doctor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Doctor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/21 "2011-12-21T17:45:10Z")
Sharp as a bag of wet mice. (Foghorn Leghorn) ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/22 "2011-12-21T17:45:42Z")
Two small objects short of a collective noun. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/23 "2011-12-21T17:46:27Z")
As dumb as a mailbox ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/24 "2011-12-21T17:49:20Z")
Elevator stops a couple floors short of the penthouse ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/25 "2011-12-21T17:51:54Z")
Half a bubble out of plumb. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/26 "2011-12-21T17:52:35Z")
Republican. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/27 "2011-12-21T17:54:55Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > Sharp as a marble. Very close to my contribution: Sharp as a bowling ball. One for old times’ sake: Not all there. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/28 "2011-12-21T17:56:13Z")
Not the sharpest peanut in the turd. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/29 "2011-12-21T18:03:46Z")
Has a mind like a steel colander Sports reference: Thinks Wade Boggs is what you have to do to cross a river. If brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose. Dumber than a box of rocks. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/30 "2011-12-21T18:11:01Z")
Six cents short of a nickel. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/31 "2011-12-21T18:16:48Z")
He went out to lunch and stayed for happy hour. He thinks “Shake Your Booty” is an Arab prince. There was a power outage at the mall and he was stuck on an escalator for over two hours. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/32 "2011-12-21T18:18:51Z")
Not the brightest candle in the menorah. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/33 "2011-12-21T18:23:05Z")
Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Dumber than a box of rocks. That’s my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/34 "2011-12-21T18:31:12Z")
A couple of tacos short of a combo plate. (I heard Robin Williams use this one.) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/35 "2011-12-21T19:00:45Z")
Aint’ got the good sense God gave a cucumber. My Great-Uncle Tom Mann (God rest hiz soul) specialized in the situation-specific “Damning with faint praise” version fo this. Shark Sandwich reminded me of this one: Biggest piece of corn in the horse flop. Other examples: Smartest night-crawler in the can. Wet behind the ears? He ain’t wet behind the ears! He’s the driest cow-patty in the pasture. Wisest old sow in the briar patch. Smartest man ever to come out of Ole’Miss. \*Disclaimer - these are all possibly much funnier if you can hear him saying them in his South-Georgia drawl. He’s gone twenty years at least, but I still can. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/36 "2011-12-21T19:04:32Z")
Hes a 45, playing on 33. When God was giving out heads, he thought he heard beds, and asked for a big soft one.(cleaned up rather a lot) Blunter than a blancmange slicer. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/37 "2011-12-21T19:12:07Z")
Sharp as a pound of wet leather. (also Foghorn Leghorn) ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/38 "2011-12-21T19:14:55Z")
Duller than paint Only occasionally fails at walking or chewing gum Bright as the new moon Can’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel He ain’t a flash in the pan, he’s just the pan ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/39 "2011-12-21T19:20:49Z")
> [@Redwing](#): > > Can’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel I like this one. And the classic: The lights are on but no one’s home. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/40 "2011-12-21T19:23:23Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > A couple of tacos short of a combo plate. > > (I heard Robin Williams use this one.) Well that’s what I was going to post. I think I heard it from Vicki Lawrence doing a Mama sketch on Carol Burnett. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954.md?page=3)