# Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 21, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954 "2011-12-21T16:16:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/81 "2011-12-22T16:57:47Z")

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Hmm, getting a lot of urine-based imagery here. Oh well. Here’s another:

Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

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**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/82 "2011-12-22T17:12:38Z")

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Dumber than a ditch carp

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**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/83 "2011-12-22T17:17:56Z")

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> [@El\_Kabong](#):
>
> Hmm, getting a lot of urine-based imagery here. Oh well. Here’s another:
> 
> Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

See post #38. 😉

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/84 "2011-12-22T17:45:25Z")

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Thick as a post.

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**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/85 "2011-12-22T17:47:11Z")

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Thick as a brick.

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/86 "2011-12-22T17:48:23Z")

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Dumb enough to pee into the wind.

A wise man short of a nativity scene.

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**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/87 "2011-12-22T17:57:46Z")

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> [@Lukeinva](#):
>
> Thick as a brick.

Isn’t that a song title by the band “Jethro Tull”? 😛

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**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/88 "2011-12-22T18:11:54Z")

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“When God gave out brains, he thought He said “_trains_”, and he’s still waiting at the station.” \<------ classic insult from my childhood.

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**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/89 "2011-12-22T18:17:34Z")

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> [@JBDivmstr](#):
>
> See post #38. 😉

D’oh!

Thick as…well, two really thick things, I am.

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**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/90 "2011-12-22T18:50:52Z")

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If God gave him brains he’d be dangerous.

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**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/91 "2011-12-22T20:09:47Z")

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A two-dimensional mind trapped in a three-dimensional reality.

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**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/92 "2011-12-22T20:59:06Z")

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If brains was rubber, he wouldn’t have enough to make a flip-flop for a one legged budgie.

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**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/93 "2011-12-22T21:17:00Z")

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Doesn’t know his balls from Kentucky Fried Chicken.

.

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**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/94 "2011-12-22T21:29:16Z")

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> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> “When God gave out brains, he thought He said “_trains_”, and he’s still waiting at the station.” \<------ classic insult from my childhood.

I heard it as, "When God was passing out brains you thought He said trains and said, “No thanks I’ll take the next one.”

And… "When God was passing out looks you thought He said books and said, “Yeah give me a scary one!”

😃

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/95 "2011-12-22T23:07:31Z")

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Too stupid to be allowed to live.

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**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/96 "2011-12-22T23:36:49Z")

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He can’t tell his ass from his elbow.

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**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/97 "2011-12-23T02:34:10Z")

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Little sign between her ears that says “space for rent”.

Bone from the eyes up.

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**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/98 "2011-12-23T02:37:06Z")

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If brains were gasoline he wouldn’t have enough to power an ants go-kart around a Cheerio.

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**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/99 "2011-12-23T03:03:03Z")

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“If ignorance was Corn Flakes, you’d be General Mills”

(What took you guys so long?)

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**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/100 "2011-12-23T03:43:59Z")

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> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> Sports reference: Thinks Wade Boggs is what you have to do to cross a river.

Related political reference: Thinks _Roe versus Wade_ is the choice you have to make when deciding how to cross a river.

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