# Not the sharpest tool in the shed. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954 "2011-12-21T16:16:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/101 "2011-12-23T04:05:41Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Related political reference: Thinks _Roe versus Wade_ is the choice you have to make when deciding how to cross a river. He thinks the Mexican border pays rent. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/102 "2011-12-23T04:15:32Z")
> [@rhythmonly](#): > > Doesn’t know his ass from a big green rock. > [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Doesn’t know his balls from Kentucky Fried Chicken. Doesn’t know his ass from deep center field. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/103 "2011-12-23T04:37:16Z")
> [@DarrenS](#): > > If brains were gasoline he wouldn’t have enough to power an ants go-kart around a Cheerio. Psst, see post 61. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/104 "2011-12-23T05:20:20Z")
An oldie from 60’s high school: She thinks “Moby Dick” is a venereal disease. . ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/105 "2011-12-23T05:53:57Z")
If you pronounce the word “gullible” real slow it will sound like “oranges”. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/106 "2011-12-23T18:09:13Z")
Lightbulb’s burned leftside of his ass and out rightside of his ass. IQ equals room temperature in the South Pole, outside, at midnight on St John’s Eve\* - (midsummer in the Northern hemisphere, midwinter in the Southern) Got kicked out of [insert here name of local organization working with mentally challenged folks] on account of being too dumb. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/107 "2011-12-23T19:03:27Z")
Still on dial-up. ---
**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/108 "2011-12-23T20:54:32Z")
“He’s one of the great minds of the fourth century.” Thanks to my pal Bill Gately, RIP. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/109 "2011-12-23T22:36:31Z")
He may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: He really is an idiot. (Groucho Marx.) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/110 "2011-12-24T00:58:07Z")
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/111 "2011-12-24T03:01:07Z")
Dumber than a bag of hammers Impaired rectal cranial clearance Foghorn Leghorn/‘Boy reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride, a little light in the belfry.’/FL ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/112 "2011-12-24T03:39:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > He thinks the Mexican border pays rent. He thinks manual labor is the president of Mexico. ---
**Author:** ![UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/46a35a/32.png) [@UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UFC_Is_Sux)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/113 "2011-12-24T04:37:26Z")
IQ of a Boston Fern. Hasn’t got the common sense God gave a screwdriver. Was absent the day they taught graceful. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. Splinters in the windmills of his mind. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/114 "2011-12-24T06:04:13Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > From that very amusing link: > > Acute Pneumoencephalopathy - airhead > [@outlierrn](#): > > Dumber than a bag of hammers > Impaired rectal cranial clearance Cranial rectitis ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/115 "2011-12-24T09:45:17Z")
A wonderfully evocative one I’ve heard only recently: As useful as a chocolate teapot. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/116 "2011-12-24T10:35:27Z")
If you set his brain on the edge of a razor blade, it would look like an ant’s egg rolling down the middle of a four-lane highway. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/117 "2011-12-24T16:01:51Z")
He may be stupid, but at least he’s incompetent. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/118 "2011-12-24T17:03:11Z")
He’s a fast plant. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/119 "2011-12-24T18:24:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Cranial rectitis I’ve always heard that called a recto-cranial inversion. And I sometimes have to add a second line dumb as a box of rocks: “a box of _stupid_ rocks.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/120 "2011-12-24T21:55:21Z")
Useful as a sack full of assholes with the good ones picked out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954.md?page=7)