# Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 21, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954 "2011-12-21T16:16:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 9\
**Page:** 7

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/121 "2011-12-25T06:50:33Z")

</div>

Can’t take both hands and get 1 finger up his ass.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/122 "2011-12-25T18:59:34Z")

</div>

His train of thought left him at the station.

A few pickles shy of a barrel. (Pat McManus, the only one I can remember from one of his essays where two of this friends were trying to one-up each other on this sentiment.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/123 "2011-12-25T19:34:12Z")

</div>

Dumber than a stump.

Got his head so far up his ass he needs a glass belly button to see out.

Can’t find his ass with both hands.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/124 "2011-12-25T22:31:23Z")

</div>

> [@Diver](#):
>
> Dumber than a stump.
> 
> Got his head so far up his ass he needs a glass belly button to see out.
> 
> _ **Can’t find his ass with both hands** _.

(bolding mine)

_ **And** _ a road map! 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\
**Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/125 "2011-12-25T23:15:00Z")

</div>

> [@JBDivmstr](#):
>
> _ **And** _ a road map! 😉

See post 52. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\
**Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/126 "2011-12-26T00:16:22Z")

</div>

But you’ve all left out “… and a GPS”. 🙂

Paralyzed from the neck up.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\
**Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/127 "2011-12-26T00:31:13Z")

</div>

Failed the I.Q. test.

Not the full quid (or the equivalent “60 cents on the dollar”).

So dumb he tried to wake a sleeping bag.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\
**Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/128 "2011-12-26T11:32:30Z")

</div>

Slower than a herd of turtles.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\
**Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954/129 "2011-12-26T12:07:35Z")

</div>

> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> “When God gave out brains, he thought He said “_trains_”, and he’s still waiting at the station.” \<------ classic insult from my childhood.

When God handed out brains, they were at the end of the line.

Couldn’t get a clue if they were standing in a field of Clues in heat, wearing Clue musk.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed/606954.md?page=6)