# Not veal! Think of the dolphins!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 26, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939 "2004-07-26T15:51:16Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/1 "2004-07-26T15:51:16Z")
This [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=268144) reminded me of an event that happened several years ago. I have to share it because, well, the memory is on my mind now and I won’t be able to get any work done until I do.
My date and I, along with three other couples, were eating at an Italian restaurant before prom. As I was reading the menu I noticed they had veal parmasean. I hadn’t had veal in quite some time, so I considered getting it. Knowing that some people aren’t crazy about the idea of veal, I decided to check with my dining companions. One girl (not my date) spoke up. I’ll call her “Steph.” The conversation went a little like this:
Me: Would anybody be offended if I ordered the veal parmasean?
Steph: [Looking up quickly from her menu] I am!
Me: No problem, I’ll ju–
Steph: I mean, what about the dolphins?
Me: ???
[By this point everybody else had looked up from their menus]
Me: What do dolphins have to do with veal?
Steph: The dolphins get caught in the nets.
Me: ???
Steph: You know, when they’re trying to catch the veal, dolphins get caught in the nets and die.
Everybody: _snicker_
Me: [Trying not to laugh] Steph, where do veal live?
Steph: [Still sounding pretty sure of herself] In the ocean.
Me: Umm… I think something has been lost in translation here.
Steph: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I guess I _have_ heard of sea cows…
Steph: ???
Me: Veal is cow. Well, baby cow, actually.
Steph: It’s what?!
Me: That’s why I asked if anybody had objections.
Steph: But what about the dolphins?
[Everybody is openly laughing now]
Me: Are you sure you’re not thinking of tuna?
Steph: No…but…I thought… Ohhh.
[Everybody at the table, except Steph, is now cracking jokes and laughing uproariously. Veal/dolphin jokes pretty much dominated the rest of the evening.]
We got lots of stares from the other diners that night, but it was worth it. I ended up ordering chicken, by the way.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/2 "2004-07-26T17:16:57Z")
Let me guess… she ordered the free range brocolli?
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### Author:  [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/3 "2004-07-26T17:28:03Z")
Did she say “Be free little shazbot” while she threw the eggs?
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### Author:  [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/4 "2004-07-26T17:31:59Z")
> [@Fox Paws](#):
>
> I ended up ordering chicken, by the way.
Not Chicken of the Sea!!! What about the dolphins!!! 😉
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### Author:  [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/5 "2004-07-26T17:34:39Z")
Ah, a heartwarming tale of teenage embarassment. Takes me right back…thank Goddess I’m not in frickin’ high school anymore!
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/6 "2004-07-26T17:58:25Z")
Silly, she’s worried about the _land_ dolphins (_dolphinius fleetfootus_) that roam the plains of the Southwestern United States and some of the more remote regions of Alberta.
It’s tragic when they get become entangled in the nets used to pluck baby cows from the fields. Tragic! ☹
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/7 "2004-07-26T18:04:47Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#):
>
> Silly, she’s worried about the _land_ dolphins (_dolphinius fleetfootus_) that roam the plains of the Southwestern United States and some of the more remote regions of Alberta.
>
> It’s tragic when they get become entangled in the nets used to pluck baby cows from the fields. Tragic! ☹
However, few people know that the herd of land dolphins in the SW US migrated there from the remote regions of Alberta to escape predation by the snow sharks.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/8 "2004-07-26T18:07:32Z")
I like watching them frolick off the bow wave of my car.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/9 "2004-07-26T18:12:49Z")
> [@vunderbob](#):
>
> However, few people know that the herd of land dolphins in the SW US migrated there from the remote regions of Alberta to escape predation by the snow sharks.
:eek: Oh, man, I HATE snow sharks (aka. Great White). A friend of mine nearly lost his leg to one. You should see the bite it took out of his snowboard.
---
### Author:  [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/10 "2004-07-26T18:27:50Z")
> [@vunderbob](#):
>
> However, few people know that the herd of land dolphins in the SW US migrated there from the remote regions of Alberta to escape predation by the snow sharks.
That’s not what I read.
According to an article in [mumbles under his breath], the SW land dolphin are an invasive South African species and a top-tier predator in their ecosystem. If a population were successfully established here, it would disrupt the ecosystem by displacing native veal and competing for habitat. Eradicating this non-native species of land dolphin is quickly becoming a high priority with the friendly folks at US Fish and Game.
“What about the dolphins?” she asks.
_Really_
I just can’t believe people’s ignorance sometimes.
---
### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/11 "2004-07-26T18:32:16Z")
> [@DeathLlama](#):
>
> According to an article in [mumbles under his breath], the SW land dolphin are an invasive South African species and a top-tier predator in their ecosystem.
Ohhh, so _that’s_ why they’re always following the calf trawlers! Trying to snag some of the baby cows from the setline.
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [July 26, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/12 "2004-07-26T23:09:43Z")
MWAHAHA. And I thought _I_ was ignorant about meat. But everyone makes stupid mistakes.
\
Ham?
No.
Pork?
NO!
What about bacon?
DAD! Those all come from the SAME animal!
Yes, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal form happyland.
\
---
### Author:  [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/13 "2004-07-28T14:14:31Z")
Is anyone concerned with how trolling for Veal affects the already endangered Land Coral and Dirt Fish? The Dirt Fish and its burrowing areas are severely threatened by the plowing action of trolling.
When cowboys lasso Calfs, are they fishing? And what do they use for bait?
“What about the dolphins?” :rolleyes:
The problem with idiots is that they don’t know they are idiots.
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### Author:  [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/14 "2004-07-28T14:33:52Z")
Great, now I have to explain to my mother-in-law why I’m giggling myself silly.
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### Author:  [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/15 "2004-07-28T15:02:24Z")
My ex-husband had the nerve to bring home two live lobsters for our anniversary dinner. I promptly took them to the forest and set them free.
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### Author:  [@tofergregg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofergregg)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/16 "2004-07-28T15:19:44Z")
I though _Snow Sharks_ were accidentally released from a South American research lab and have been swarming their way to the U.S. for years. Weren’t they supposed to make Texas uninhabitable or something?
-Tofer
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/17 "2004-07-28T15:36:38Z")
> [@tofergregg](#):
>
> I though _Snow Sharks_ were accidentally released from a South American research lab and have been swarming their way to the U.S. for years.
They’re a relative of the Land Shark, whose murderous rampage was documented on _Saturday Night Live_ for all to see.
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### Author:  [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/18 "2004-07-28T15:42:04Z")
> [@tofergregg](#):
>
> I though _Snow Sharks_ were accidentally released from a South American research lab and have been swarming their way to the U.S. for years. Weren’t they supposed to make Texas uninhabitable or something?
You’re thinking of the Killer (or _Africanized_) Bumblebee Tuna.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/19 "2004-07-28T16:17:40Z")
> [@tofergregg](#):
>
> I though _Snow Sharks_ were accidentally released from a South American research lab and have been swarming their way to the U.S. for years. Weren’t they supposed to make Texas uninhabitable or something?
>
> -Tofer
You’re being silly. Despite the presence of the Andes in South America providing snow, there is simply no snow in Central America to allow migration north for the South American snow sharks.
You _obviously_ have not seen the pictures of all the Albertan snow sharks than migrate south during the winter, and become stranded with the spring thaw. The land dolphins circle aound a stranded snow shark and give them the flipper.
BTW, a fun prank where I grew up is to find a stranded, but still living, snow shark, and to tip it over.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-veal-think-of-the-dolphins/256939/20 "2004-07-28T16:19:54Z")
> [@tracer](#):
>
> They’re a relative of the Land Shark, whose murderous rampage was documented on _Saturday Night Live_ for all to see.
Which is why I never answer a knock on my door. Everyone knows a land shark won’t use a doorbell.
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