# Not Your Usual Breakup Songs Needed
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [February 10, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367 "2012-02-10T02:19:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/1 "2012-02-10T02:19:43Z")
My g/f has decided to break up with me. Other than being completely devastated, I’m doing perfectly fine. :(:(☹
We would like to remain friends once the dust settles and I’d like to make her a mix of songs of healing and friendship after breaking up.
After a couple days of inadequate Googling, I thought perhaps the Teeming Millions would have some suggestions. Most of the breakup songs are of the angry-I-never-want-to-see-you-again kind of songs which neither of us can relate to.
Any ideas?
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/2 "2012-02-10T02:36:52Z")
So sorry to hear of your loss, **Ruby**. ☹
Most of my breakup songs haven’t been angry but sentimental and mawkish:
_Don’t Speak_ - No Doubt
_Need You Now_ - Lady Antebellum
_A Case of You_ - Joni Mitchell
_Fucker_ - Eels
_In Love With Your Ghost_ - Indigo Girls
_When It’s Cold_ - Moby
And the ‘nuclear’ floods-of-tears option:
_Kissing You_ - Des’ree
More neutral:
_Song to the Siren_ - This Mortal Coil (I prefer their cover to the original)
_I think I Understand_ - Joni Mitchell
On a more positive note, I have remained friends with my ex-wife, and she once sent me the only one I can think of that’s positive:
_Cool_ - Gwen Stefani
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/3 "2012-02-10T02:42:25Z")
By the way, I should say from experience _don’t send the mix_. Not now, anyway. It will only make her feel really awkward and do you no good. Make it for your pleasure and have a good cry listening to it. But leave it six months and have another think about sending it then.
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### Author:  [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/4 "2012-02-10T02:44:18Z")
I’ve always been a fan of Barenaked Ladies’ _Break Your Heart_ as a non-traditional breakup song, but it may not be quite the right sentiment.
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### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/5 "2012-02-10T03:12:40Z")
> [@jjimm](#):
>
> By the way, I should say from experience _don’t send the mix_. Not now, anyway. It will only make her feel really awkward and do you no good. Make it for your pleasure and have a good cry listening to it. But leave it six months and have another think about sending it then.
I will tread with caution, but my purpose in sending isn’t to have music to cry by. She and I are still the best of friends and for now we are still living together. I want to share our journey of pain, healing and hope for the future.
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### Author:  [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/6 "2012-02-10T03:31:29Z")
[“I’ll Be Around” - The Spinners](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlPpYEkv6BM)
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/7 "2012-02-10T05:39:14Z")
This is sort of an all-purpose uplifting song, but it is appropriate for break-ups too - whenever anything bad happens in our lives, we always dwell on it at night. [“It’ll Be Easier In the Morning” by the Hothouse Flowers.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzwPz83UbuU)
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### Author:  [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/8 "2012-02-10T06:19:44Z")
Not all of these are suitable to share (and whether you share any at all is up to you). But maybe some will help you. Some aren’t exactly about breaking up, more about loss, but I think they kind of fit.
Time to Move On - Tom Petty
Wildflowers - “”
Another two off a single album:
Walk On - U2
Kite - U2 (maybe the closest to what you asked for)
April Come She Will - Simon & Garfunkel
Fare Thee Well - Indigo Girls
Taste the Pain - Red Hot Chili Peppers (this may not fit because it’s somewhat mean but not bitter)
Love Love Love - The Mountain Goats (this isn’t a breakup song at all and yet it somehow it feels like one to me)
Time of Your Life (Good Riddance) - Green Day (obvious choice, though different people see it differently)
Only The Young - Brandon Flowers
Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright - Bob Dylan (kinda iffy how bitter this is, but sometimes it’s just perfect)
I’ll Remember You - Bob Dylan (a bit nicer)
Walkaways - Counting Crows (short and to the point)
Dreaming My Dreams With You - Waylon Jennings (I like the Cowboy Junkies cover)
Tear-Stained Letter - Johnny Cash (the lyrics are downbeat, but the music goes against that)
At This Moment - Billy & The Beaters (those of a certain age will probably just find this amusing)
The Pain is Gone - Black Lab
Train Wreck - Glen Philips
Now I Understand - Lisa Loeb
These White Lights Will Bend to Make Blue - Azure Ray
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### Author:  [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/9 "2012-02-10T06:38:50Z")
Fischer Z - So Long
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### Author:  [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/10 "2012-02-10T08:31:21Z")
Why Can’t We Be Friends? - War
Caroline, No - Beach Boys
God Only Knows - Beach Boys
If I Needed Someone - Beatles
Legal Matter - the Who
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### Author:  [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/11 "2012-02-10T08:42:13Z")
Leonard Cohen - Hey That’s No Way To Say Goodbye.
Just thinking about that song makes me tear up a little.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/12 "2012-02-10T08:48:51Z")
If you see her say Hello Bob Dylan
Or for a little fun, Dixie Chicken by Little Feet
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### Author:  [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/13 "2012-02-10T09:00:53Z")
[“Can We Still Be Friends?” - Todd Rundgren](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK1_7eKtkDg)
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### Author:  [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/14 "2012-02-10T13:06:32Z")
Someone like you by Adele, it wil make your cry, that’s a given.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/15 "2012-02-10T13:19:19Z")
> [@Ruby](#):
>
> I will tread with caution, but my purpose in sending isn’t to have music to cry by. She and I are still the best of friends and for now we are still living together. I want to share our journey of pain, healing and hope for the future.
Yeah, still, don’t give it to her. I guess everyone has to make their own mistakes, but from my experience it won’t help either of you, no matter how kind and sincere the gesture.
I’ve done the living together after breaking up thing - twice. You’d think I would have learned the first time. It all goes well until one of you spends the night elsewhere, and from that moment it all goes hideously wrong. ☹ Good luck anyway, you deserve it.
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### Author:  [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/16 "2012-02-10T13:30:46Z")
Not what you’re looking for but they may cheer you up a bit:
[You Don’t Love Me Anymore](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWD5gdpt4Dw)
[N.F.B. (Dallabnikufnise)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBzGc2mfeSw)
[You’re All I Need](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poJroMpqrkM)
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/17 "2012-02-10T14:02:02Z")
And if she needs a little nudge to get her to move out, there’s “TV Set” by The Cramps:
_Oh baby I see you in my frigidaire
Yeah baby I see you in my frigidaire
Behind the mayonnaise, way in the back
I’m gonna see you tonight for a midnight snack
But though it’s cold you won’t get old
'cause you’re well preserved in my frigidaire yahhhhhhh…_
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/18 "2012-02-10T14:16:58Z")
“Days” - The Kinks
but yeah, I wouldn’t give it to her either.
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### Author:  [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/19 "2012-02-10T14:42:20Z")
[_This is Me_-Cheryl Wheeler.](http://www.cherylwheeler.com/songs/tim.html)
**Description** : This is a very touching song about the aftermath of Cheryl’s breakup. Cheryl is fine, yet she is telling her partner that she still loves her, and always will. It isn’t too late, and she can always come back.
It is a very interesting perspective to the end of a relationship. Essentially, it is the person who was hurt trying to comfort the one who has done the leaving.
_Some things never change
You were always just the one I couldn’t live without
I can’t turn some page
And pretend it’s all undone and I don’t love you now
You close your eyes, and remember what I told you
This is me talkin now
This is me who loves you still
And you know I always will_
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [February 10, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/not-your-usual-breakup-songs-needed/612367/20 "2012-02-10T15:40:19Z")
“The Heart of the Matter” by Don Henley is a great song on this subject… but only if there WAS some acrimony in hte breakup that you’re now trying to get over.
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