# Note to guys who are in Love....Little Tip... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 17, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847 "2004-06-17T12:46:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/1 "2004-06-17T12:46:40Z")
Well guys, Phlosphr has done it again. Pissed off then mended a potentially volatile explosion from the Gorgon Queen. Err…I mean my illustrious wife. Every once in a while, I’ll go to the the store and pick up a card or flowers for my wife on a whim. Apparently, a few weeks ago I was feeling particularly happy about being married to the woman, because she is just the most caring, kindred spirit I know, I picked up a card that caught my eye. It was a general purpose card designed by her favorite artist, with some really provocative words in it. Words that would make anyone smile regardless of the situation. Skip a few weeks into the future. I completely forgot to give the card to her. Last night I was in rare form, we had spent 3 days with lil’phlosphr-nephew and I was still ripping around the house on a sugar high…having ingested more Ben & Jerry’s than I usually do in a 72 hour time frame. 5 pints. :eek: What can I say the kids cute, and loves Ben & Jerry’s. So I was a bit punchy and I committed the cardinal rule of having a healthy disagreement with my wife. I said the S word to her. “_ **Should** _” I make it a point to try and limit saying woulda, coulda, shoulda, to anyone. Particularly my wife, as she is sensitive to it, so I try and not say it to her. Well last night my head was not with me and we got into a rare rip-roaring shouting match that landed me on the couch in my office till 4 a.m. I waited till I felt safe to crawl into bed. Ok back to the card. After an interesting breakfast to say the least, my wife went to her office and began her day…I sat thinking about my actions of last evening and suddently remembered the wonderful card in my glove box. I walked into the garage, retrieved the card, wrote some endearing phrases and went up and gave it to her. With a tear she hugged me and we continued with our day… 🙂 So guys, if you have a significant other, I urge you to go and buy a few cards and place them in areas where you will forget them until that Oh so wondrous day, when you will need them…And the best part is, I didn’t have to go to the store, I had it right there, making my wife think I was sooooo cute to have it on hand and not have to make a shame train run to the pharmacy to get a card to smooth things over 😃 Take it or leave it, it works. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/2 "2004-06-17T12:49:17Z")
Dude, you are so whipped. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kymodoce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8797f3/32.png) [@Kymodoce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kymodoce)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/3 "2004-06-17T12:52:51Z")
Hmm… OK… I will try that. Does she therefore have to have little caches of beer and my favourite savoury snacks around, just in case of dire need? ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/4 "2004-06-17T12:55:14Z")
Forget cards! The last time I got into a fight with my GF I was at work replaying the fight in my head. We normally don’t fight so it was eating at me. So on my lunch I wrote up a simple little poem. To make things interesting I translated it to Spanish (couldn’t find a Bulgarian online translator anywhere!) and text messaged her phone with it 😃 She called me not 15 minutes later laughing. The translation didn’t make any sense but she knew what it was I was trying to do. Got some nice “make up nookie” for that 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/5 "2004-06-17T13:32:06Z")
I should have preficed this with this: This is a general suggestion, not something to take the place of Odes, Poems, stories, diamonds etc…etc… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/6 "2004-06-17T15:22:39Z")
> [@Kymodoce](#): > > Hmm… > > OK… I will try that. Does she therefore have to have little caches of beer and my favourite savoury snacks around, just in case of dire need? Heh. No need to have extraneous products lying around for this. We’re built with self-contained “will you forgive me?” stuff. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/7 "2004-06-17T17:13:09Z")
And I thought the old … “ **Yes, Dear** ” was a trump card of sorts… ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/8 "2004-06-17T17:24:37Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > I **should** have preficed this with this: Are you gonna start this again? You SHOULD get a thesaurus if you COULD be bothered to go the the bookstore. I’m sure it WOULD be open on your way home. Why WOULD you avoid a perfectly good word like “SHOULD”? I COULD not understant any less. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/9 "2004-06-17T17:50:18Z")
Meat loaf… Beat Loaf, I HATE MEAT LOAF. Grumble grumble grumble…\*\* editors\*\* …grumble grumble… **errr** grumble grumble… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/10 "2004-06-17T18:00:50Z")
What’s wrong with meat loaf? 😕 I don’t remember the hubby and I ever having a shouting match. We’re strange though - I keep getting told that eventually we will become old and bitter and unhappy. He also knows better than to try and impress me with cards or jewelery or flowers! When it comes to making me swoon I’ll take computer accessories or monopoly games 🙂 A nice night sans kidlets will also work wonders. I’ll give a little advice to anyone in a relationship. You know your partner very well… do your best not to push their buttons when you’re upset. That’s taking advantage of their trust in you. Learn the calmest way to air disagreements. You will all be happier for it. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/11 "2004-06-17T18:17:51Z")
This reminds me of something a local DJ was talking about. I don’t remember what he calls it but he has a system for staying out of trouble with his girlfriend. He does random nice things for her (flowers, cards, dinner etc.). He know that we women have incredible memories. We will remember everything. So, he does all this nice stuff for his girlfriend and rack up points with her. Then, when he does something really stupid, she can look back in her mental file to see if he’s worth keeping around. She then remembers all the nice things he does for no reason and doesn’t stay mad at him. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/12 "2004-06-17T19:04:53Z")
Another word of advice: do not refer to her as the Gorgon Queen, unless she has referred to herself that way. She is not likely to be nearly as amused by it as you are. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/13 "2004-06-17T20:27:38Z")
I dug myself out from referring to a girlfriend as a Gorgon by spinning it as a reference to her ability to turn men to stone. You know, stone being _hard_ and all. Whaddya know, it worked! My silver tongue gets a bit tarnished from time to time, but a little polish always puts it right. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/14 "2004-06-17T21:55:49Z")
> [@tanookie](#): > > What’s wrong with meat loaf? 😕 > > I don’t remember the hubby and I ever having a shouting match. We’re strange though - I keep getting told that eventually we will become old and bitter and unhappy. He also knows better than to try and impress me with cards or jewelery or flowers! > > When it comes to making me swoon I’ll take computer accessories or monopoly games 🙂 A nice night sans kidlets will also work wonders. > > I’ll give a little advice to anyone in a relationship. You know your partner very well… do your best not to push their buttons when you’re upset. That’s taking advantage of their trust in you. Learn the calmest way to air disagreements. You will all be happier for it. There is nothing wrong with meat loaf. As a matter of fact, I love the stuff!! I was just playing the cranky child from **A Christmas Story** - You know Ralphy’s little brother… Oh and this paragraph: > [@](#): > > I’ll give a little advice to anyone in a relationship. You know your partner very well… do your best not to push their buttons when you’re upset. That’s taking advantage of their trust in you. Learn the calmest way to air disagreements. You will all be happier for it. Is gospel to those young budding life-long partners out there. _ **SERIOUSLY** _ - This should be your mantra should you wish to stay with your SO for the rest of your life. I think **Tanookie** knows me well enough from my previous posts to know I live by this creed. My wife and I rarely if ever, have terrible shouting matches, but when we do, we understand that we have slighted either parties respect and trust, and that needs to be addressed when it happens. Always remember the love wrought from hard work and loving perseverance. 🙂 > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by Crazy Cat Lady** > Another word of advice: do not refer to her as the Gorgon Queen, unless she has referred to herself that way. She is not likely to be nearly as amused by it as you are. My computer was down for a few days, I needed some space and computer time - not on a lap-top - and I used her office for the work while she was away. This is what ensued. Mrs.Phlosphr…\*\*walks in… :eek: WTF is all this mess!!! I leave you for 3 hours and you mess up the entire office??? 😕☹ :mad: **I am a skatter-brained-non-conformist-chaotic individual** I looked in shame at what I had really done… 🙂 Carl Sagan would have been proud…James Gleick would have been as well - most likely… But, I looked around and knew I was wrong…I had the place in a shambles. And she looked at me and said…I will be your Gorgon Queen if you mess up my office to this extent again… Thus I can say Gorgon Queen without slighting my wife…as she said it first! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/15 "2004-06-17T22:01:20Z")
Here’s a tip: if you’re going to stash romantic cards in strategic places, FOR GODS’ SAKE PUT HER NAME ON THEM FIRST. You can write a soppy message in them later… but you don’t want her finding a blank, hidden romantic card that she didn’t send you, when she’s in a bad mood. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/16 "2004-06-17T22:05:22Z")
Good card story. I think cards are more valuable/fun to receive now because (almost) no one writes letters anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/17 "2004-06-18T14:41:43Z")
> [@tesseract](#): > > Good card story. I think cards are more valuable/fun to receive now because (almost) no one writes letters anymore. I agree. I am much more articulate in my written word than in general conversation. ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/18 "2004-06-18T14:58:31Z")
I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused…the “s” word being “should”? Maybe I missed something. Regardless, **Phlosphr** , I think the world needs more guys like you. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/19 "2004-06-18T17:46:25Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Meat loaf… Beat Loaf, I HATE MEAT LOAF. Huh. I always thought he was calling it “beet loaf.” ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-guys-who-are-in-love-little-tip/250847/20 "2004-06-19T15:04:20Z")
> [@bittersweet](#): > > I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused…the “s” word being “should”? Maybe I missed something. > Regardless, **Phlosphr** , I think the world needs more guys like you. Thank you…I appreciate that. 🙂