# Note to self: Die Young. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421 "2005-01-18T20:57:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/1 "2005-01-18T20:57:58Z")
_Damn_. Too late. This story in the local news reminded me again (as if I needed reminders!) how the cheerful chumps who say, “Old age beats the alternative!” need a good sock in the jaw: > [@](#): > > (1010 WINS) (NEW YORK) 87-year old Viola Wittico was found today in the Bronx, a day after she was reported missing. She apparently wandered away from her home at 1201 Findlay Avenue sometime between 8am and 4pm yesterday. Police said she suffers from Alzheimer’s diseaser. Meanwhile, the search continues for an elderly Chelsea man missing for a week. The family of 83-year old Alejandro Carrero says he’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. He was last seen seen on January 10th in front of his Manhattan home at 28810th Avenue. Every other weekend I visit my mother in assisted-living. A very good facility, but still everyone there has lost their independence and knows they’ve come there to die. They’re waited on by underpaid, overworked staff, of varying degrees of competence, and are too often treated like toddlers. The ones who still have their brains have lost their bodies to strokes, arthritis, blindness, deafness. Many have lost their short- or long-term memory. When they can remember what their lives used to be like, it just depresses them. It’s not like Bayview on _Waiting for God_. There are no Diana Trents. Sure, you occasionally hear about 97-year-old women who do cartwheels and write books and go partying. But for every one of them . . . I can’t _tell_ you how much I am looking forward to dying in my 60s or 70s. And if I don’t, I _will_, if you know what I mean. My sister and I have a “pillow over the face” pact with one another. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/2 "2005-01-18T21:08:48Z")
My parents and I visited my grandfather over the weekend. He’s in a nursing home after multiple trips to the hospital in the last 2 months. He’s on a feeding tube now, and all he wants is to go home. He doesn’t know where he is or why he’s there, although at least he does still recognize us. I don’t want to end up like that. He’s in pain, although I don’t think it’s as severe as some people, he can’t take care of himself, he can’t walk, he can’t eat. I know the human desire to live is very strong, but at some point you have to wonder “why?” I hope someone has the compassion to put me out of my misery before I end up like that. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/3 "2005-01-18T21:13:55Z")
Or if you like, when the time comes you could always slip some arsenic into your tea at the Algonquin, so that you can shuffle off this mortal coil in civilized surroundings. Just tip the waiters a little extra for discreet handling of your remains. And I’m with you–no _way_ am I going to allow myself to slide into slow decay. I plan on going the **Harold and Maude** route–doing myself in while I still have all my faculties. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/4 "2005-01-18T21:15:30Z")
Note to Will Self, Kill Will Young. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/5 "2005-01-18T21:29:02Z")
I’m pretty sure I _did_ die back when I was young, healthy and not easily satiated after one of those too far frequent nights of debauchery. Everything that’s happened since is just some figment of my final synapse-firing imagination determined to piss me off. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/6 "2005-01-18T21:29:05Z")
A guy I work with says he’s on the “Early Exit” Plan - don’t take too good care of yourself so you don’t last too long. He may be kidding. Probably not completely. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/7 "2005-01-18T21:30:51Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > A guy I work with says he’s on the “Early Exit” Plan - don’t take too good care of yourself so you don’t last too long. He may be kidding. Probably not completely. I’m on that plan. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/8 "2005-01-18T21:36:25Z")
I keep wondering, _why_ am I taking cholesterol pills—to live _longer?_ My sister says, “So you won’t have a stroke and wind up like Mom,” and I remind her of the “pillow over the face” pact. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/9 "2005-01-18T21:38:51Z")
I agree, but I also wonder how I’ll know when it’s time. I mean, you don’t always know you’re going to “lose your faculties” until they’re gone, and then what? Myself, I’m banking on an aging Baby Boomer population using their financial and political clout to make elderly euthanasia legal, and then I’ll have a really specific contract drawn up with my doctors to off me at a predetermined level of pain and suffering. ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/10 "2005-01-18T21:53:30Z")
**Eve,** darling, do you see a tiny little problem with your "“pillow over the face” pact? For example, is likely that _both of you_ will be able to benefit? ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/11 "2005-01-18T22:10:55Z")
That’s why I’m planning on being a druggie once I hit 70 or so. If I’ve done everything I want to do earlier in life and I don’t really have much to live for, why not? If i’m gonna be sick and frail and old I might as well be stoned out of my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/12 "2005-01-18T22:15:32Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > My sister and I have a “pillow over the face” pact with one another. You have a _sister_??? Is she single? My age? Can I have her number? ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/13 "2005-01-18T22:23:31Z")
I’m moving to Oregon when I’m 50 or diagnosed as terminal, which ever comes first. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/14 "2005-01-18T23:17:05Z")
> [@](#): > > He was last seen seen on January 10th in front of his Manhattan home at **28810th Avenue**. I knew that NYC was big, but I had no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/15 "2005-01-18T23:29:38Z")
As far as I’m concerned, the most important financial objective of the first 65 years of my life is to save enough money to afford around-the-clock in-home nursing care for the last 10 years. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/16 "2005-01-18T23:35:05Z")
I know a guy who plans to start a heroin habit when he reaches 70. He figures “What have I got to lose, my health?” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/17 "2005-01-18T23:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Eve, darling, do you see a tiny little problem with your "“pillow over the face” pact? > > For example, is likely that both of you will be able to benefit? Can’t you see the _Laverne & Shirley_-ness of our last moments? > [@](#): > > You have a sister??? > > Is she single? My age? Can I have her number? She’s three years older than I am and looks 15 years younger. Sadly for you, she is also a happily married heterosexual (one of the few I know!) ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/18 "2005-01-18T23:53:59Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Sadly for you, she is also a happily married heterosexual (one of the few I know!) Drat! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/19 "2005-01-18T23:54:05Z")
My dad pointed out a guy in the race results the other day who was in his seventies who ran a race that was two minutes faster than the guy who won the age group below him. His time overall was around or a little over a six minute mile for an eight mile course, roughly what I was running 3.1 mile cross country courses in freakin’ _high school_. It’s not like he’s a lifelong athlete reaping the fruits of a lifetime of clean living, either, he took up running in his fifties to lose weight. To heck with offing myself before I’m old and decrepit, I want to be _that_ guy. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421/20 "2005-01-19T01:00:50Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > My To heck with offing myself before I’m old and decrepit, I want to be _that_ guy. Bedpans, heart pains, asthma, That Guy Joint aches, feet swell, eyes gone, Is That Guy! He’s a colostomy– He’s everything that every guy will be! Lap robes, wheelchairs, walkers, That Guy Oatmeal, fiber, Jell-O Is That Guy He’s mine alone, but unluckily for you… When you get real elderly, I mean real elderly, Then you’ll be That Guy too… _That Guy!_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self-die-young/285421.md?page=2)