# Note to self **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406 "2003-09-03T21:27:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/21 "2003-09-04T10:31:33Z")
Note To Self: When attempting to light a cigarette using the cooker, ensure hair is suitably tied back _or_ After misplacing lighter, walk along the street and replace the lighter instead of using the cooker ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/22 "2003-09-04T13:48:12Z")
Note to self: Just because you could drive in there doesn’t mean you can drive back out. Tow truck operators really don’t like coming out at 2 am to pull you out of an earth dam. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/23 "2003-09-04T14:06:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AbbySthrnAccent \* > \*\*Note to self: > Do not try to run for the bus if you are wearing a skirt and the panties with sagging elastic. \*\* Did you have celery? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/24 "2003-09-04T14:12:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Note to self: > > Never light a fart in a pair of polyester pants. \*\* Note to self: Try to include alliteration in more of my fart jokes. It’s like poetry. ---
**Author:** ![pierre72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@pierre72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pierre72)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/25 "2003-09-04T14:26:55Z")
Note to self: Drinking vast quantities of lager at a barbecue may make you conversational, but vomit is difficult to clean off the cushions. And the curtains. Especially somebody elses. ( **Lobsang** : I [empathise](http://pub75.ezboard.com/fnadsfrm8.showMessage?topicID=17.topic)). ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/26 "2003-09-04T14:29:54Z")
Note to self: Vodka and cranberry does NOT count as a serving of fruit. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/27 "2003-09-04T14:34:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Note to self: > > Never light a fart in a pair of polyester pants. \*\* Note to Fashion Police : Rico wears polyester pants. Excessive force is authorised and considered both acceptable and desirable. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/28 "2003-09-04T16:28:32Z")
Note to self: Biting the dentist’s hand while he is giving you an injection in the mouth does NOT ease the tension or pain. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/29 "2003-09-04T18:28:10Z")
NOte to self: Just because you have more checks does not mean you have more money in the bank ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/30 "2003-09-04T18:37:29Z")
Note to self: When cutting sheetrock with a utility knife, keep your thumb outta the way. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/31 "2003-09-04T18:45:36Z")
Note to self: When daughter says “oops”, do NOT ignore. Note to self: Read expire date on carton of milk BEFORE you pour into cereal. Note to self: The closet door _still_ does not magically stay open. It WILL crack you in the head if you don’t watch out. ---
**Author:** ![Skott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Skott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skott)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/32 "2003-12-06T19:52:08Z")
Note to self: Put in contacts _before_ cutting onions… ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/33 "2003-12-06T19:59:49Z")
Note to self: Listen to more of The Constantines. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/34 "2003-12-07T01:33:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy_ > > > [@](#): > > > > _Orignally posted by AbbySthrnAccent_ > > Note to self: > > Do not try to run for the bus if you are wearing a skirt and the panties with sagging elastic. > > Did you have celery? Note to self: Don’t laugh while you’re chewing bubble gum. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Danno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Danno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Danno)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/35 "2003-12-07T01:38:59Z")
Note to self: Don’t push that button on the front of the compu ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/36 "2003-12-07T01:48:24Z")
Note to self: Measurements of the cosmic microwave background, residual radiation left over from the Big Bang, have recently placed severe constraints on the nature and amount of dark matter. The lightweight neutrino can account for only a few percent of the missing mass. If neutrinos constituted the main component of dark matter, they would act on the cosmic microwave background of the universe in ways that the recent Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe should have observed-but did not. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/37 "2003-12-07T02:10:05Z")
Note to self: Do not drink lemonade after eating chocolate chip cookies. Eww… ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/38 "2003-12-07T02:16:41Z")
Note to a much younger self: When playing with gasoline and matches, make sure you move the gas container a suitable distance from the puddle of gas you are about to light. _or_ Don’t play with matches and gasoline. It’s not as much fun as it sounds, and bad shit can happen. ---
**Author:** ![xayoz306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xayoz306](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xayoz306)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/39 "2003-12-07T03:17:47Z")
Note to self: When your 7 month pregnant wife asks “Do I look big”, do not reply “Yes” ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406/40 "2003-12-07T03:24:43Z")
Note to self: If a lion turns around slowly in front of you and raises his tail, duck! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/note-to-self/199406.md?page=3)