# Nothing Good Can Come of This **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863 **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863 "2010-04-12T18:33:46Z") **Posts on this page:** 20 **Page:** 1
### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/1 "2010-04-12T18:33:46Z")
Archaeologists discover intact Roman-era lead coffin. > **[Ancient lead sarcophagus contains Roman VIP](https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/history/ancient-lead-sarcophagus-contains-roman-vip-1932247.html)** > > Who's in the Lead Coffin? “Very unusual and very intriguing” is how Nicola Terrenato from the University of Michigan describes a Roman-era lead coffin that has been uncovered in the ancient city of Gabii, 11 miles east of Rome. > [@](#): > > Who’s in the Lead Coffin? “Very unusual and very intriguing” is how Nicola Terrenato from the University of Michigan describes a Roman-era lead coffin that has been uncovered in the ancient city of Gabii, 11 miles east of Rome. > > The professor of classical studies is the leader of an archaeological project to excavate the site. He added: “It’s definitely the most unusual finding of the campaign so far.” > > The lead sarcophagus, weighing about 450 kg, was found during last summer’s dig and is thought to date from the second to the fourth centuries AD. Researchers can’t be more exact about the date until a series of tests are carried out in the coming months. > > … > > What remains clear is that the burial is highly unusual, not least because the use of such an unusually large piece of lead would have been a great expense for the family of the deceased. Terrenato said: “It’s a sheet of lead folded onto itself an inch thick. A thousand pounds of metal is an enormous amount of wealth in this era. To waste so much of it in a burial is pretty unusual." Haven’t these people seen any horror movies? opening an “unusual” 1800 years buried thousand-pound lead coffin simply _can’t_ be a good idea. 😃 ---
### Author: ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/2 "2010-04-12T18:40:57Z")
Dude, it’s Roman. Everyone knows that vampires are from Transylvania. It’s probably just filled with marinara sauce. Eat, you’re too thin! ---
### Author: ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/3 "2010-04-12T18:46:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Dude, it’s Roman. Everyone knows that vampires are from Transylvania. It’s probably just filled with marinara sauce. > > Eat, you’re too thin! Yeah riiiiight… Right now there’s some dude in the Vatican in a panic, holding a bunch of crumbling ancient pages with images of Satan on them, pounding on the Popes bedroom door and screaming some shit in Latin. And he doesn’t even notice the dobermans slowly climbing the stairs behind him… ---
### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/4 "2010-04-12T18:48:15Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Yeah riiiiight… > > Right now there’s some dude in the Vatican in a panic, holding a bunch of crumbling ancient pages with images of Satan on them, pounding on the Popes bedroom door and screaming some shit in Latin. > > And he doesn’t even notice the dobermans slowly climbing the stairs behind him… Or better, crumbling parchments with Mithraic rituals written on them. 😃 ---
### Author: ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/5 "2010-04-12T18:57:04Z")
It’s the revenge of the altar boys! ---
### Author: ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/6 "2010-04-12T19:00:33Z")
or a Goa’uld… ---
### Author: ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/7 "2010-04-12T19:21:45Z")
Cthulhu fhtagn. ---
### Author: ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/8 "2010-04-12T19:47:29Z")
I worked on a site in Maryland where two sealed lead coffins were discovered. IIRC, the Smithsonian opened them to test the air quality of the air in the coffins to determine what the air was like during times of yore. From the pix, it doesn’t look like the coffin in the OP was still sealed so the evil within is probably already roaming the world… ---
### Author: ![Methyl\_Ethyl\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Methyl\_Ethyl\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Methyl_Ethyl_Death) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/9 "2010-04-12T20:07:20Z")
Hmmmm…lead coffin… Whatever monster is in there, it might be radioactive. :eek: ---
### Author: ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/10 "2010-04-12T20:51:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Cthulhu fhtagn. Same to you, buddy! Alternatively: Gesundheit! ---
### Author: ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/11 "2010-04-12T20:55:11Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > …From the pix, it doesn’t look like the coffin in the OP was still sealed so the evil within is probably already roaming the world… …and managing a large, hugely wealthy non-profit organization near Rome? ---
### Author: ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/12 "2010-04-12T22:13:11Z")
Well, probably not _ **non** _-profit. ---
### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus) #### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/13 "2010-04-12T22:54:05Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Well, probably not _ **non** _-profit. More like “non- **prophet** ”. 😉 ---
### Author: ![Beerman1963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2acd7d/32.png) [@Beerman1963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beerman1963) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/14 "2010-04-13T01:30:42Z")
Head archaeologist(in monotone voice) nothing to see here no zombie mummies move along ---
### Author: ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/15 "2010-04-13T04:00:56Z")
> [@Beerman1963](#): > > Head archaeologist(in monotone voice) nothing to see here no zombie mummies move along No vampires roamin’ around either. ---
### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/16 "2010-04-13T13:47:44Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > No vampires roamin’ around either. Groan.\* \*Note: not the sound of a mummy stirring to unnatural life. ---
### Author: ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/17 "2010-04-13T15:32:26Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > I worked on a site in Maryland where two sealed lead coffins were discovered. IIRC, the Smithsonian opened them to test the air quality of the air in the coffins to determine what the air was like during times of yore. From the pix, it doesn’t look like the coffin in the OP was still sealed so the evil within is probably already roaming the world… Wouldn’t the air have been contaminated or at least affected by the decayed body, though? ---
### Author: ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/18 "2010-04-13T17:09:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Dude, it’s Roman. Everyone knows that vampires are from Transylvania. It’s probably just filled with marinara sauce. Dude - it’s Roman: there was \*\*\*no \*\*\*marinara sauce back then, since tomatoes had not been imported to Italy from the new world yet… …however, given the smell I would expect to emanate from that thing, it is probably filled with [garum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garum) (wiki link) the “fermented fish sauce” that Romans apparently _loved_… ---
### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus) #### Post date: [April 13, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/19 "2010-04-13T17:38:56Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Dude - it’s Roman: there was \*\*\*no \*\*\*marinara sauce back then, since tomatoes had not been imported to Italy from the new world yet… > > …however, given the smell I would expect to emanate from that thing, it is probably filled with [garum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garum) (wiki link) the “fermented fish sauce” that Romans apparently _loved_… Eeew, just imagine how _pissed off_ your average undead creature would be, after being pickled for two millenia in fish guts. :eek: ---
### Author: ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ) #### Post date: [April 14, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863/20 "2010-04-14T08:02:37Z")
It’s obviously hazardous waste from a malfunctioning fission-powered time machine. Why else would you need lead an inch thick? I imagine it’ll look just like the climactic scene from Predator when they open it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-good-can-come-of-this/535863.md?page=2)