# Nothing kills the mood when you're doin' it quite like... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595 "2005-05-26T13:54:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/1 "2005-05-26T13:54:24Z")
…the dog jumping on the bed and licking your ass - with much vim and vigor. Stupid dog, thinking it always has to be a part of everything we do. Tonight the dog is going to be locked in its kennel for _at least_ ten minutes. I don’t know why she even lets the dog in the room at all. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/2 "2005-05-26T14:02:34Z")
It could have been worse… but I just can’t go there… Ewwwww!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/3 "2005-05-26T14:07:16Z")
Then you should probably stop rubbing that kibble and peanut butter mixture on your ass right before you do the deed. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/4 "2005-05-26T14:09:30Z")
> [@The Unkempt One](#): > > …the dog jumping on the bed and licking your ass - with much vim and vigor. > > Stupid dog, thinking it always has to be a part of everything we do. > > Tonight the dog is going to be locked in its kennel for _at least_ ten minutes. I don’t know why she even lets the dog in the room at all. I understand that there are people who pay good money for just such an experience. Have you ever considered putting your dog to work? ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/5 "2005-05-26T14:17:29Z")
> [@The Unkempt One](#): > > …_at least_ ten minutes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/6 "2005-05-26T14:31:42Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I understand that there are people who pay good money for just such an experience. Have you ever considered putting your dog to work? Are these the same people that are [jaded by internet porn?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6193207&postcount=1)? If so the dog will have to compete with the wookie dressed up like a smurf. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/7 "2005-05-26T14:36:23Z")
…the music of John Philip Sousa. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/8 "2005-05-26T15:10:46Z")
Or the dreaded “taint ram”. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/9 "2005-05-26T15:13:51Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > …the music of John Philip Sousa. > > Trust me. Never even thought about doing it, but I believe you. Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance would probably be a mood-killer as well. I recall some old thread about the funniest things Dopers had said or heard during sex, there were some major buzzkills in there. Hard to do it right when you’re laughing your ass off. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/10 "2005-05-26T15:23:02Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > …the music of John Philip Sousa. > > Trust me. Funny…\*Stars and Stripes Forever \* really makes me horny. Too much time in marching band in high school, I guess. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/11 "2005-05-26T15:24:25Z")
The neighbor across the gangway letting go with a wall-shaking fart that you hear through the open window, then loudly apologizing and saying “you mey now return to your attempts to have sex quietly…” ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/12 "2005-05-26T15:55:32Z")
> [@The Unkempt One](#): > > …the dog jumping on the bed and licking your ass - with much vim and vigor. Where I’m from we call that a _menage a trois_. (“taint ram”. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/13 "2005-05-26T16:01:04Z")
… having the slats fall out of the bed. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/14 "2005-05-26T16:01:33Z")
…putting too much bubble-bath in the jacuzzi. We came out looking like marshmellows. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/15 "2005-05-26T16:02:56Z")
Sousa music has a good beat that can keep you steady. It’s just that you have to be willing to do it in front of a marching band. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/16 "2005-05-26T16:10:01Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Sousa music has a good beat that can keep you steady. > > It’s just that you have to be willing to do it in front of a marching band. With all of this talk of Sousa, would you believe that a google search of “Sexy marching band” comes back with only ten results? With all of the fetishists and other sexually unique people out there, I would think that marching band porn and erotica would be very popular. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/17 "2005-05-26T16:10:45Z")
\*\*Nothing kills the mood when you’re doin’ it quite like… \*\* . . . my dad getting home from work early. Note: this was several years ago. I do NOT still live with my parents. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/18 "2005-05-26T16:12:59Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > It’s just that you have to be willing to do it in front of a marching band. I’ve known too many weirdos who were in high school band. > [@The Unkempt One](#): > > With all of the fetishists and other sexually unique people out there, I would think that marching band porn and erotica would be very popular. Somebody make a bad pun involving the word “horny,” stat! ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/19 "2005-05-26T16:15:31Z")
Your partner falling asleep during the act. Not only does it totally kill the mood, it’s a major blow to the ego as well. And no, this one’s not from personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/20 "2005-05-26T16:22:54Z")
Speaking of musical accompaniment, I had a girlfriend who liked performing fellatio to [Saber Dance](http://dragon.ep.usm.edu/~yuen/music.htm). She was a multitalented person; a renaissance woman, if you will. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595.md?page=2)