# Nothing kills the mood when you're doin' it quite like... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595 "2005-05-26T13:54:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/41 "2005-05-26T22:24:42Z")
A small fire :eek: Wasn’t actually there yet, having a lovely affectionate moment that could have led to sex when a candle heated something paper near it and caught a few envelopes and papers on fire. I tried to tell her she was sooo hot that I needed to remove her clothes before they caught too but she didn’t go for it ☹ Next… Falling off A woman I was dating who had never experienced the female superior position let alone a massive orgasm while in such a position. She lost her balance and smacked her head against the wall. Didn’t really hurt her but she had a little bump and was totally embarassed. Last but far from least… Back in my wild and crazy net dating days I had a few dates that went pretty wild and crazy. This particular one ended up in my bed on the first date. In the middle of a great session of wild monkey sex she yells “CUM IN ME AND GIVE ME YOUR BABY!” :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Not in a normal voice, not a heat of passion voice, we are talking battle cry. I wouldn’t have been less freaked out if she painted herself blue and swung a claymore around yelling “SCOTLAND WILL BE FREE!” I already have 3 kids and had told her during internet chats that I was not interested in having any more children. I performed neither of her demands. I lost my erection over about the next 5 seconds and insisted I had mastered retrograde ejaculation. I never called her back again. So yes…guys can fake orgasms too! ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/42 "2005-05-26T22:40:33Z")
Imagine a young, teenage couple, getting all hot and heavy in the backseat of a car parked on a lonely roadside. It’s late at night, and the woods on either side of the car are dark as can be – there’s just starlight, and a dim, low-hanging quarter moon that you can’t even see because of the trees. Things progress to the point where clothes are being removed, when “Zap, zap, crackle, zap”; mysterious white-blue sparks light up the car. Add static electricity to the list of mood-killers. Of course, being teenagers, and half-naked, the mood wasn’t killed for long. But talk about heart failure! ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/43 "2005-05-26T23:01:33Z")
> [@Danalan](#): > > Imagine a young, teenage couple, getting all hot and heavy in the backseat of a car… Or worse yet, [a young couple boinking in the front seat](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0708043nunez1.html), only to run off the road, strike a mailbox then a telephone pole & end up with a dented windshield with hair entwined in the broken glass ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/44 "2005-05-27T00:31:54Z")
Hotel Security and Police Kicking in the door. It was the WRONG door, but still, the sight of a half a dozen tactical officers with light-sighted weapons, screaming and carrying on, will take the lead out of a fellas pencil right now. ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/45 "2005-05-27T00:43:05Z")
Sherman, set the wayback machine for 1985…holding the ex-gf’s head under water in the hot tub while Dad comes out to see what is going on. I mean, it didn’t affect my mood but it sure killed hers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/46 "2005-05-27T05:08:57Z")
“You know, Matt, I really think I like girls more.” “AUGH! FUCK THAT HURTS!” [I was \*blowing gently\* on his nipple, for Og’s sake.] “Holy shit, you’re bleeding!” [Not what you might think. Ropes… chafing… sensitive bits… get the picture? :eek:] “AAA FUCK LIGHTS DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE” “Uh… Hi… dad! DON’T COME IN. I’m just… taking a bath. Matt… went out … shopping.” [this is me talking. yes, I was doing it with a guy named Matt - one of my exes.] “Oh, I never use condoms. You don’t know what you’re missing!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/47 "2005-05-27T13:33:50Z")
Waking up and realizing you were dreaming ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/48 "2005-05-27T13:49:09Z")
> [@The Unkempt One](#): > > Tonight the dog is going to be locked in its kennel for _at least_ ten minutes. I don’t know why she even lets the dog in the room at all. _Ten_ minutes? Are you planning to eat hard-boiled eggs afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/49 "2005-05-27T14:03:34Z")
The new kitten deciding that his dangly bits are prey and must be subdued and killed NOW! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/50 "2005-05-27T14:50:11Z")
Her having a cardiac episode. Seriously. She has a heart condition, and mid-coitus, she started having some kind of problem. She said she gest them every few months. I’m unsure of the exact problem, palpatations? Some sort of arrythmia? But in was done in a couple mintes, by but that time, the mood was dead. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/51 "2005-05-27T14:54:17Z")
Hearing The Kid coming ambling up the stairs. Just managed to look innocent-ish when he wandered in and started chatting about Lego or something. After a minute or two, he paused in his rambling and said, “Daddy, why are you panting?” Daddy said “I was taking a nap and had a dream I was running.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/52 "2005-05-27T15:13:40Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > President of the wierdos or the band? I was president of the band. I was King of the Wierdos. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/53 "2005-05-27T17:37:34Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > Or the theme from one of the Mario Bros. video games. Don’t ask me why it was in my ex’s playlist. I just got laughing SO hard that we couldn’t continue. Heh, I don’t know how to exclude tracks from my iTunes playlist, so I have a few George Carlin routines that come up now and then. Not that I have anything against the guy, but I don’t imagine he would help sustain the mood. Sadly, you need to actually have sex to have “we were bouncing around on each other, then George Carlin started bitching about Catholics” stories, but I’m working on it. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/54 "2005-05-27T18:01:57Z")
A meowing cat ranks high in my list. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_Chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/76d3ee/32.png) [@Patty\_Chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_Chuck)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/55 "2005-05-27T18:29:55Z")
When the skin attatching the foreskin to the head of the penis unexpectedly breaks and spays blood everywhere. That is from personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/56 "2005-05-27T18:33:29Z")
…reading this thread. I have no desire whatsoever to have sex now, ever. _dying of laughter, though_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/57 "2005-05-28T00:25:33Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Her having a cardiac episode. Seriously. She has a heart condition, and mid-coitus, she started having some kind of problem. She said she gest them every few months. I’m unsure of the exact problem, palpatations? Some sort of arrythmia? But in was done in a couple mintes, by but that time, the mood was dead. Worse than that, my best (male) friend in college had a guy die in him. The other guy had finished but didn’t withdraw. My friend assumed the other guy had fallen asleep, so he went to sleep too. In the morning he realized he was in bed with a corpse. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/58 "2005-05-28T08:26:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Worse than that, my best (male) friend in college had a guy die in him. The other guy had finished but didn’t withdraw. My friend assumed the other guy had fallen asleep, so he went to sleep too. In the morning he realized he was in bed with a corpse. That poor guy! ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/59 "2005-05-28T10:37:09Z")
**Patty & Chuck** ’s contribution made me grab my nether bits protectively - and I’m a girl. **panache45** ’s story cannot be topped, either. Well, at least not by me. And this is the song that came on and killed my mood, once. For a few minutes, at least, while I was giggling uncontrollably. [The Hockey Song](http://www.jughead.tv/lyrics_hockey.html) by Jughead ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595/60 "2005-05-28T11:10:29Z")
> [@The Unkempt One](#): > > Ouch! Perhaps she wanted balloon animals or some manner of mime show? > > Regardless, being told that I was boring someone while doin’ it would kill the mood pretty quick, I think. See? That’s why women fake orgasm. Now isn’t that nicer than telling you your lovemaking is boring? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-kills-the-mood-when-youre-doin-it-quite-like/305595.md?page=4)