# Nothing on earth will stand between him and his penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286 "2013-04-21T04:25:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/21 "2013-04-21T13:19:35Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > My buddy " did he just rub one out in there ?" we all break out laughing. He just finished having a refreshing Ricola throat lozzenge. Oh, I’m one of those rare teen kids that rarely played choke the chicken. Honestly. But one I started a regular routine (significantly out of my teens) I tried to make up for lost time 🙂 I just wish I coulda been a one percenter at something a bit more important. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/22 "2013-04-21T13:31:41Z")
Well sure, hardly any of us literally choke a chicken. But what about spank the monkey, rub one out, bust a nut, craunch the marmoset, _fap fap fap_, grease the palm and carry on, stroke it till you grok it, beat it, beat off, jack off, masturbate, touch yourself, turn the crank, shoot your jizz, pleasure yourself, or have a moment to yourself. Surely you were a normal teen engaging in some of those pastimes regularly 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/23 "2013-04-21T14:44:36Z")
Hell…I remember as a teenager sometimes trying to see if I could set records for number of times in a day. Though, I’d usually lose interest in the ‘record’ by mid day. That tapered off of course, but I’m pretty sure most guys are pretty regular well into middle age and beyond. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/24 "2013-04-21T17:24:19Z")
I remember as a teenager trying to see how long I could leave it alone. Made it eighteen days, and I was climbing the walls. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/25 "2013-04-21T17:37:25Z")
It’s perfectly normal for all kids that age and older to touch their genitals. Boys and girls. My daughter was pretty interested in it about that age. The best thing to do is not make a big deal of it or try to make him stop. You just tell him that’s something he needs to do in his bedroom. After a while he’ll get the hint it’s something to do in private so you don’t have to worry about him whipping it out at gramma’s house or in the grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/26 "2013-04-22T03:15:44Z")
In the ultrasound picture of one of my grandsons, he is hanging on to his boy-bits. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/27 "2013-04-22T03:39:11Z")
If there actually is something between any male and his penis, there may be medical problems involved, and proper help should be consulted. [Even musical help. (NSFW)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIUk08iYZKE) ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/28 "2013-04-22T03:56:57Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I don’t think they can? At least I remember being shocked at WTF is this?:eek: Around 12. Not that kind of finish! :eek: I just meant lose interest.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/29 "2013-04-22T04:07:03Z")
Get little Kiddo one of these. [1880s anti-masturbation armor = the ultimate codpiece for your retro Iron Man costume](http://io9.com/5933371/this-1880s-anti+masturbation-armor--the-ultimate-codpiece-for-your-retro-iron-man-costume) ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/30 "2013-04-22T13:12:02Z")
Look, if nothing came between Brooke Shields and her Calvin Kleins, why would anything come between a man and his penis? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/31 "2013-04-22T18:12:40Z")
A study found that 90% of all men masturbate. The other 10%? No arms. I don’t understand why people make such a big deal about this. It’s not like it’s new or anything, it’s been going on since the development of the opposable thumb. If you tell them that what they’re doing is evil then they’re going to keep doing it and feel guilty and bad about it. If you let them do it but don’t talk to them or anything then you end up with towels snapping in half. Talk to them. The OP had a reasonable solution. It’s going to happen anyway, give him what he needs and retreat to safe distance. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/32 "2013-04-22T22:29:08Z")
If God didn’t want us to masturbate, He would have given us shorter arms. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/33 "2013-04-22T23:47:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > If God didn’t want us to masturbate, He would have given us shorter arms. 🙂 …like the T. Rex ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/34 "2013-04-22T23:48:41Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > …like the T. Rex I wonder why God didn’t want the T.Rex to masturbate. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286/35 "2013-04-22T23:49:29Z")
And thats why God made blind cavemen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nothing-on-earth-will-stand-between-him-and-his-penis/656286.md?page=1)