# Notice: Do not speak these phrases near my ears **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687 "2012-08-16T17:18:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/1 "2012-08-16T17:18:40Z")
I hereby restrict the utterance of the following two phrases to not less than five miles from either one of my ears: “Shut the front door.” “This ain’t my first rodeo.” If you verbalize any one of these near me you will receive, at the very least, a sharp elbow to the spleen. You are not clever, you are not witty, and you damn fuck ain’t original. Thank you. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Rubixcube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Rubixcube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubixcube)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/2 "2012-08-16T17:22:49Z")
Is there anything specific about these phrases you have problems with? Or is your sole complaint that they’re unoriginal? Because if that’s it you might as well attempt to ban every phrase or quote ever and almost every joke uttered within your earshot. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/3 "2012-08-16T17:24:39Z")
Don’t give him ideas. As long as we’re making pointless pronouncements, I wish for the sun to move thataways and get out of my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/4 "2012-08-16T17:25:37Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I hereby restrict the utterance of the following two phrases to not less than five miles from either one of my ears: > > “Shut the front door.” > > “This ain’t my first rodeo.” > > If you verbalize any one of these near me you will receive, at the very least, a sharp elbow to the spleen. You are not clever, you are not witty, and you damn fuck ain’t original. > > Thank you. > > mmm Because this ain’t my first rodeo, if I feel your elbow in my spleen, I’ll knock your teeth down your throat. Now shut the front door. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/5 "2012-08-16T17:26:59Z")
If it weren’t for that horse… ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/6 "2012-08-16T17:28:30Z")
Now, see, if you had asked nicely, I might have complied. But I hate being told what to do, so now I’m going to say _them all the time_. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/7 "2012-08-16T17:30:33Z")
Someone is not a happy camper. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/8 "2012-08-16T17:33:45Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > “Shut the front door.” I suspect you’re talking about the recent trend to use this phrase as a euphemism for “Shut the fuck up!” If so, then please allow me to bitch-slap the offender after you’re done with them. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/9 "2012-08-16T17:37:23Z")
Is there a particular inside meaning to these phrases which has yet to make it all the way up north to Canada? 1. “Shut the front door.” - Your fly is down? 2. “This ain’t my first rodeo.” – I’ve had sex previously? Did I guess correctly? Am I a total idiot? What does this thread even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/10 "2012-08-16T17:50:34Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Is there a particular inside meaning to these phrases which has yet to make it all the way up north to Canada? > > 1. “Shut the front door.” - Your fly is down? > 2. “This ain’t my first rodeo.” – I’ve had sex previously? > > Did I guess correctly? Am I a total idiot? What does this thread even mean? “Shut the front door” is a cutesy way of saying “Shut the fuck up.” “This ain’t my first rodeo” is fairly self-explanatory. It just means that you aren’t inexperienced in whatever area is being discussed. It is especially applicable when you suspect someone is trying to dupe you. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/11 "2012-08-16T17:51:25Z")
You’re going dirty, pull up, pull up! Front door=fuck up Grew in popularity after the Orbit gum commercial with the fake swears. This ain’t my first rodeo.=Scuse me, I’ve done this before so back off. Like “Don’t teach grandma to suck eggs.” but less likely to scandalize idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/12 "2012-08-16T17:52:00Z")
There’s an annoying cookie commercial involving two children, a dad and a mother who says, “Shut the front door”. I think, “How inappropriate!” ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/13 "2012-08-16T17:52:47Z")
Oh, I should point out that it would be weird to tell someone “Shut the front door” when you’re actually mad at them. It’s an expression of incredulity, not hostility. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/14 "2012-08-16T17:54:31Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > “Shut the front door” is a cutesy way of saying “Shut the fuck up.” > > “This ain’t my first rodeo” is fairly self-explanatory. It just means that you aren’t inexperienced in whatever area is being discussed. It is especially applicable when you suspect someone is trying to dupe you. Well, I’m glad they’re not in the vernacular here. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/15 "2012-08-16T18:12:54Z")
“If it were a snake it woulda bit me!” ARGH. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/16 "2012-08-16T18:16:28Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > “Shut the front door” is a cutesy way of saying “Shut the fuck up.” > > “This ain’t my first rodeo” is fairly self-explanatory. It just means that you aren’t inexperienced in whatever area is being discussed. It is especially applicable when you suspect someone is trying to dupe you. I always prefer: “Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.” From the always good Slim Pickens. I have to admit, I’ve never heard “Shut the front door” as a euphemism for anything. But I live a sheltered life. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/17 "2012-08-16T18:21:21Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I hereby restrict the utterance of the following two phrases to not less than five miles from either one of my ears: > > “Shut the front door.” > > “This ain’t my first rodeo.” > > If you verbalize any one of these near me you will receive, at the very least, a sharp elbow to the spleen. You are not clever, you are not witty, and you damn fuck ain’t original. > > Thank you. > > mmm Maybe if you’d shut the door when you come into a house, and stop hanging out at rodeos, you’d stop hearing those phrases. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/18 "2012-08-16T18:23:15Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > You are not clever, you are not witty, and you damn fuck ain’t original. I can tell when I’m not wanted. Can you give me a little boost back into this turnip truck? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/19 "2012-08-16T19:02:11Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > “Shut the front door” is a cutesy way of saying “Shut the fuck up.” I thought it was more along the lines of “No fuckin’ way!” or “Shut the fuck up”, as in, “I don’t believe what you’re telling me. Are you serious?” Although, admittedly, I can probably count on two hands the times I’ve heard the phrase- enough to get the meaning from context, but not nearly enough that I’d demand never to hear it again. As for the ‘rodeo’ one, I’ve heard it a few times and I kind of like it. I might actually \*start \*using it. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687/20 "2012-08-16T19:19:22Z")
Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Moondays. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/notice-do-not-speak-these-phrases-near-my-ears/631687.md?page=2)