# Noticing underage girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 12, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661 "2002-07-12T17:39:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Procacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Procacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procacious)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/81 "2002-07-20T07:22:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Although the average age of the onset of menses is decreasing, and that is the technical definition of ‘puberty,’ I am not sure that the ‘look’ that we think of as post-pubescent is keeping up. An 11-yr-old who has menstrated still does not have the womanly lines to her face and figure that a teen does, and really would not be appealing to your average het man. All in all, this is quite true. I knew a couple of 9-year-old D-cups when I was a kid, but they looked more like kids with breasts than sexually appealing women. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/82 "2002-07-20T08:05:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hansel \* > \*\*Here’s another way to handle it: don’t sleep with her if she’s not obviously an adult. Whether statutory rape is determined by a judicial evaluation or age-of-consent laws, you’re safe. \*\* … And therein lies the problem. I know many many girls, under the age of consent, who don’t look it. What do you do when you’re out, and you meet the girl, and she likes you, and you like her, and you head for a convienient place. You ask her her age, casually, and she just as casually says “18”. You bump uglies. Then you go to jail, if caught, while nothing happens to her for lying, lying and knowing that you could go to jail. What happens to her? (or him, I’m an equal opportunity lech) ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/83 "2002-07-20T15:40:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tristan \* > \*\* > > … And therein lies the problem. I know many many girls, under the age of consent, who don’t look it. What do you do when you’re out, and you meet the girl, and she likes you, and you like her, and you head for a convienient place. You ask her her age, casually, and she just as casually says “18”. > > You bump uglies. > > Then you go to jail, if caught, while nothing happens to her for lying, lying and knowing that you could go to jail. > > What happens to her? (or him, I’m an equal opportunity lech) \*\* Tough shit. Nothing happens to her. You’re the one who accepted the risk that she’s undersage when you went out looking for a one-night stand with a girl who’s borderline legal. You accepted the risk that she’d lie, just like you accepted the risk that she’d get pregnant because she lied about being on the pill, and you accepted the risk that it would hurt to piss the next morning because she lied about being clean. You know that 13 year old girls can look 18 (especially through beer goggles); you know that people can lie. If you don’t want to accept those risks, don’t sleep with her unless she says “23”. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/84 "2002-07-20T19:58:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hansel \* > **Fine. Can you seriously imagine a “Department of Human Sexuality” ever occurring in the U.S. in your lifetime?** Probably not. There are a lot of injustices that I don’t see going away anytime soon, not just statutory rape laws. > [@](#): > > **You’re being silly: the difference between the teenager and the 30 year old woman is that the woman probably has a much better idea that she can’t support a child.** This isn’t the kind of knowledge that you need life experience to learn, it’s basic math. Raising a child costs _X_ amount per month on average, the girl’s job at McDonald’s pays _Y_ amount per month, which is far less than _X_, ergo the girl can’t afford a child. There are also ways to have sex without getting pregnant, and ways to deal with a pregnancy without having to raise a child, which would hopefully be highlighted in sex education courses. > [@](#): > > **You’re also mixing my points quite freely. I’d like to think that you’re not trying to confuse the issue.** I didn’t think I was mixing them, I thought you were saying financial stability should be a prerequisite for sex. Are you saying only teenagers need to be able to afford a child before they can have sex? > [@](#): > > **Here’s another way to handle it: don’t sleep with her if she’s not obviously an adult. Whether statutory rape is determined by a judicial evaluation or age-of-consent laws, you’re safe.** There will always be young girls who “obviously” look older. Maybe she’s 15 and looks 18; maybe she’s 17 and looks 23, with a fake ID to prove it. It seems to me that guessing someone’s age within a few years is a lot more prone to failure than deciding whether she knows the potential consequences of sex. ---
**Author:** ![xyzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e36b37/32.png) [@xyzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xyzzy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/85 "2002-07-20T20:32:53Z")
I’ll admit that I’ve fantasized about adolescents. I see an attractive adolescent, and wonder how good s/he would be “between the sheets”, as it were. I suppose the best thing to do is to quit being a slut (I’m not accusing anyone on this board of sluttiness, FYI) and actually get to KNOW your partners. At least know first name and age, right? Don’t just go for it with just anyone. Use some restraint. At the very least, your chances of getting AIDS will go down significantly. ---
**Author:** ![Procacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Procacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procacious)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/86 "2002-07-21T00:09:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Nothing happens to her. You’re the one who accepted the risk that she’s undersage when you went out looking for a one-night stand with a girl who’s borderline legal. You accepted the risk that she’d lie, just like you accepted the risk that she’d get pregnant because she lied about being on the pill, and you accepted the risk that it would hurt to piss the next morning because she lied about being clean. > > You know that 13 year old girls can look 18 (especially through beer goggles); you know that people can lie. If you don’t want to accept those risks, don’t sleep with her unless she says “23”. I had a 25 year-old friend that could not get into rated R movies unless she had her I.D… Sometimes looks are extremely deceiving and if everyone just assumed she was jailbait it would really have prevented her from having an adult relationship (since even after 15 dates you still wouldn’t know if her I.D. was fake or not and many people would not even have dated her to begin with if they didn’t take her word for it when she told them her age). ---
**Author:** ![xyzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e36b37/32.png) [@xyzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xyzzy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/87 "2002-07-21T01:35:57Z")
Here’s a little trick that I use to keep minors out of my sex life. After I’ve gotten to know the person well, I inevitably ask that person whether or not we should go back to his/her place. Then I listen for the answer. If they get nervous, that’s a sign that this person MIGHT be a minor and doesn’t want the parents to find out that he/she is out looking for sex. If they say no flat out, then I ask for the home number. If there’s a rejection on that, and the person doesn’t want me picking him/her up at home, I get suspicious. VERY suspicious. Also, try discussing adult things (such as job, income, rent payments and other things that minors wouldn’t know about that much) and pay close attention. Try bitching about your boss, high rents, etc. Maybe drop a little ancedote involving a humorous event at the office. See if the other person relates, or comes back with a similar story. If the person looks confused, you’re probably looking at a fake adult. Above all, KNOW YOUR PARTNERS _BEFORE_ YOUR RELATIONSHIP GETS SEXUAL! I cannot stress this enough! Your body is the most intimate, special thing you will ever get. Why allow strangers to make use of its most intimate functions? You wouldn’t let a stranger drive your car or have access to your bank accounts, right? Why let a stranger have your body? Learn about that person, then let your relationship progress from there. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/88 "2002-07-22T13:15:22Z")
**hansel** , tsk tsk. There’s something I am TOTALLY missing here. > [@](#): > > We seem to agree that obsessively fantasizing about sex with someone will probably change your disposition towards them. How is this bad when it’s a teenager (and why is it okay when it’s an adult)? GRRR! **Obsessively fantasizing about anything** isn’t good to begin with. You can’t take this specific case, “Oh, sexually fantasizing about little girls” and make some claim like that. It doesn’t matter whether they are 14 or 41. An obsessive fantasy is going to make things suck. What is special about this case? > [@](#): > > In other threads, we’ve discussed the negative effects of the media and the clothing industry over-sexualizing teenagers; how is it different when individuals do it to them? Well, off the top of my head, because the media has volume and extends beyond one’s brain. Me being a little nicer to a cute 16 year old girl is hardly sexualizing her. I know, I know, you want to talk about obsession. Really, though, no one was talking about obsession when they said it was bad, and if they did, then it was a total straw man. > [@](#): > > I see a habit one forms by indulging in something. Then why aren’t we all obsessed with food? We eat, like, on average two to four times a day. Why aren’t we obsessed with working? We work five out of seven days (or more). Whatever it is that allows obsession to exist, I don’t think it is a learned behavior. This may be a genuine difference in our outlook. > [@](#): > > Overall, I suspect the damage is more directly done to oneself than to others, though in most cases the damage is very small. Still, how can that damage not be bad? I don’t even understand why there has to be damage from thinking sexually about girls, so I can’t answer. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/89 "2002-07-23T17:35:33Z")
As a “normal” (whatever that is) hetro male, I see attractive girls everywhere. If they look obviously underage, I don’t really look (illegal and not interested). If they look of an age, I’ll look and briefly wonder “what if” but that’s it. However, I’ll occasionally run into a pretty girl who is obviously underage, and I’ll think “Wow, I wish I could get to know her when she’s older, she’ll be a knockout.” None of this is wrong. However, I think that the legal age limit is good, because at least that person is old enough to be able to make some kind of choice; even if they know nothing about sex, they should at least have picked up enough secondhand knowledge to have some idea about what they are getting into, and if they’re out drinking at a bar, it’s a good bet that they are looking. There’s no way to teach “informed consent” implying knowledge of sex in someone who is a virgin, but asking that the person at least have **some** idea of what they’re doing seems like a good idea to me. Does this mean that a 14 yr old who has had sex can give informed consent? No, s/he doesn’t have the emotional maturity to know what’s really going on, even if s/he’s screwed the football team. Does a 18 yr old? Maybe, but I wouldn’t bet on it. 20 seems like a good age to pick, and if you think two years can’t make that much of a diffirence… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/90 "2002-07-23T21:13:21Z")
_Originally posted by Azure Eternity_ > [@](#): > > I wear form fitting shirts and tightish jeans and never get a second glance at school - teenage guys see almost every girl wearing this every day. I walk on the street and am taken aback by the attention I get - nothing really obvious, just lingering glances. Sometimes it’s a little creepy, mostly it’s ok. Basically, it breaks down like this: if the guy looks less than a decade older than me, it’s flattering. If he looks like he’s in his mid-twenties to thirties, I’m basically ok with it but wondering why he isn’t looking at women his own age. Fourties to fifties is getting creepy because he’s old enough to be my father, and anything above that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To be clear, I’m talking about glancing and not leering - leering is never acceptable. It really freaks me out, especially as I stated above that I’m unused to attention, much less that much. So that’s what I think, FWIW. With this in mind, if _glancing_ creeps you out, then what do you expect everyone else to do? Walk around staring at their shoes, oblivious of the environment, just so they don’t accidentally glance at you? What if you speak to them? I think this attitude is a little over the top. If I would go by this logic, then I have no right to be in public because I might _glance_ at an underage girl, and go to jail because of it. If you truly didn’t care about what you were wearing, why dress just like everyone else? It’s just more peer pressure. You dress that way to fit in with the crowd. It’s the only wardrobe available in the stores. It’s not in your culture to dress conservatively, or you might dress like a Muslim woman from Saudi Arabia. If that was your culture you would accept it a readily as you do the style of dress you have now. As some posters have stated, the urge is biological, and no one has invented a relible method of controlling it. Beware the day they do. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/91 "2002-07-24T05:49:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sam Hell \* > **Does this mean that a 14 yr old who has had sex can give informed consent? No, s/he doesn’t have the emotional maturity to know what’s really going on, even if s/he’s screwed the football team.** What exactly is “really going on”? And how about providing a cite for the assertion that all 14-year-olds are incapable of understanding whatever is “really going on”? Cripes. If somebody came to this board and spouted off something like “black people don’t know enough to understand politics”, he’d get the ignorance slapped out of him like Godzilla swatting a helicopter. Are unsubstantiated generalizations suddenly okay when age is involved? ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/92 "2002-07-24T05:56:15Z")
Sorry if that last bit seems like it’s directed at you in particular, **Sam Hell**. I see people generalizing based on age in every thread like this one and there’s never any evidence to back it up; my comment was intended for all of them. ---
**Author:** ![Procacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Procacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procacious)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/93 "2002-07-24T07:20:22Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## I wear form fitting shirts and tightish jeans and never get a second glance at school - teenage guys see almost every girl wearing this every day. I walk on the street and am taken aback by the attention I get - nothing really obvious, just lingering glances. Sometimes it’s a little creepy, mostly it’s ok. Basically, it breaks down like this: if the guy looks less than a decade older than me, it’s flattering. If he looks like he’s in his mid-twenties to thirties, I’m basically ok with it but wondering why he isn’t looking at women his own age. Fourties to fifties is getting creepy because he’s old enough to be my father, and anything above that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To be clear, I’m talking about glancing and not leering - leering is never acceptable. It really freaks me out, especially as I stated above that I’m unused to attention, much less that much. So that’s what I think, FWIW. > > With this in mind, if glancing creeps you out, then what do you expect everyone else to do? Walk around staring at their shoes, oblivious of the environment, just so they don’t accidentally glance at you? What if you speak to them? > > I think this attitude is a little over the top. If I would go by this logic, then I have no right to be in public because I might glance at an underage girl, and go to jail because of it. > > If you truly didn’t care about what you were wearing, why dress just like everyone else? It’s just more peer pressure. You dress that way to fit in with the crowd. It’s the only wardrobe available in the stores. It’s not in your culture to dress conservatively, or you might dress like a Muslim woman from Saudi Arabia. If that was your culture you would accept it a readily as you do the style of dress you have now. > > As some posters have stated, the urge is biological, and no one has invented a relible method of controlling it. Beware the day they do. Okay, okay, there is no reason to bite her head off. I thought she did quite a service by posting her perspective her. Since most of us are well over 15 and a very significant portion of us have never been teenage women, her post did a lot to explain their point of view (granted she is only one person and obviously does not represent all 15 year-old girls, but one opinion is better than none). I can sort of agree with you though, but it really depends on how she defines glancing versus leering. I glance at every person I walk past, if for no other reason than to make sure they do not have weapon in their hand. If she thinks every older person that looks at her is checking her out, she may be over analyzing. Then again, I think I automatically “check out” everyone I ever look at. Part of looking at a person is getting a general idea of their features (that is how you make sure there is no weapon in their hand). In order to get a clear enough view to see if they have a weapon, I also get a view of all of their body parts. I assume leering is more when you can tell if she shaves her legs or not. That requires looking at her for more than just a moment and results in an unnecessarily high level of detail. And although she said she found it creepy, she never said anyone should be jailed for glancing at an underage girl. She has the right to be creeped out even if you or I feel it is a bit over the top. Besides, if an old man is looking at her, he may very well be having sexual thoughts. We men have a tendency to have those rather often. ---
**Author:** ![Procacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Procacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procacious)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/94 "2002-07-24T07:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr2001 \* > \*\* > What exactly is “really going on”? And how about providing a cite for the assertion that all 14-year-olds are incapable of understanding whatever is “really going on”? > > Cripes. If somebody came to this board and spouted off something like “black people don’t know enough to understand politics”, he’d get the ignorance slapped out of him like Godzilla swatting a helicopter. Are unsubstantiated generalizations suddenly okay when age is involved? \*\* Sadly, that is exactly the view many people have. I am always amazed how many people think that everyone under 18 is a total moron. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/95 "2002-07-24T15:38:54Z")
Note: by “young girls” I am going with the convention in this thread and thinking of girls going through puberty, but passed the point where they have started deveoping outwardly female figures; say, 14 and on. > [@](#): > > I assume leering is more when you can tell if she shaves her legs or not. That requires looking at her for more than just a moment and results in an unnecessarily high level of detail. Give me a break, please? Can someone simply outline exactly how I am supposed to behave, what I can think, and how I long (and at what) I amy look at a female of certain ages (perhaps a boundry) so we can dispense with all this nonsense? First, well, ok, you can think, but don’t think that. Then, well, you can think that, but not _that_. And not about _them_. Then, well, you can look, but don’t look that long. No, this long is ok, _everyone_ does _that_, but not _this_ long and in _this_ manner with _these_ specific persons. Ok? Rubbish. What is special about this case? As far as I can see, nothing. I am trying to say that looking at Tiffany Teenager for a moment or two and recognizing that she is attractive is no different than looking at Wilma Woman for a moment or two and recognizing that she is attractive. Yes, _leering_ at a young girl is “ooky”. So is leering at an adult woman. What is special about this case? I ask, but no one answers. Yes, _obsessing_ over a young girl is ooky, too. So is obsessing over an adult woman. What is special about this case? I ask, but no one answers. Yes, _what we think about_ tends to influence behavior in addition to environmental factors. Does what I think about affect behavior in such a way that harms young girls? What is special about this case? What the 15 year old doesn’t mention is how the 30 year old feels when _she_ is eyed by someone she isn’t attracted to. how could she? What the 30 year olds don’t mention is how they feel when they are _leered_ at, or why it would be ok to leer at them but not a sweet, innocent, sugar and spice 15 year old. I’m not trying to rationalize my behavior; I think my behavior is perfectly normal. I’m trying to find out why some people might consider me to be a bad or wrong person for thinking about young girls when they cross my eye. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/96 "2002-07-24T15:57:47Z")
I don’t think that “everyone under 18 is a total moron”. Stupidity does not discriminate by age. I was simply making the suggestion that, in general, someone who is 14 would likely not understand the consequences of sex as well as someone of an older age, no matter the sexual experience of each. I was commenting on the proposed “sex test” mentioned earlier. Oh, and as for having the ignorance slapped out of me? One example of ignorance is putting words in someone else’s mouth. I likely didn’t explain myself as clearly as I should have, but you should have asked me to clarify instead of jumping to a conclusion. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/97 "2002-07-24T16:38:31Z")
I don’t think an adult having sex with young teen-agers is a bad thing because the teens lack the _intelligence_ to make an informed choice. I think it has more to do with their limited life experiences. There are choices a person can want to make at the age of 13-16 that, in hindsight in their 20s or 30s, they are glad they didn’t. Yes, you can pick any age in a person’s life and fast-forward, and the same will be true. But still, it seems to me that an adult is taking advantage of a younger person’s lack of life experiences and perspective when they indulge in their (often admittedly attractive) physical attributes. Think Kevin Spacey and Mena Suvari in “American Beauty.” Richard Pryor had a funny skit about this very subject. His teen-age daughter brings home some friends, and he’s going out of his mind with sexual attraction. Then they talk to him; their lack of maturity in relation to their appearance is obvious, and he looks skyward and says, “Thank you, God!” ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/98 "2002-07-24T18:31:38Z")
\*\* Mr2001\*\*, I apoligize also. I was a bit annoyed by your post and so went off without reading your second one. I agree that unsubstanciated generalizations about someone’s age vs. mental maturity are wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/99 "2002-07-24T21:41:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sam Hell \* > **I don’t think that “everyone under 18 is a total moron”. Stupidity does not discriminate by age. I was simply making the suggestion that, in general, someone who is 14 would likely not understand the consequences of sex as well as someone of an older age, no matter the sexual experience of each. I was commenting on the proposed “sex test” mentioned earlier.** I’m taking “consequences” to mean pregnancy and STDs. From listening to Loveline, it’s clear that there are at least some teenagers in this country who don’t have a clear understanding of those subjects, but I can’t say I’ve ever met one. Every teenager I’ve spoken to about sex understands that pregnancy and disease can be transmitted through sexual activity, and they know what needs to be done to prevent that from happening. Sex education was presented in my public school every year from 5th to 9th grade, and I can’t even count how many TV commercials, radio commercials, and magazine ads I’ve encountered talking about safe sex. So I find it a little hard to believe that the average 14-year-old doesn’t understand the potential consequences of sex. Do you have any evidence for your generalization? ---
**Author:** ![Procacious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Procacious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procacious)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661/100 "2002-07-25T10:15:41Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## I assume leering is more when you can tell if she shaves her legs or not. That requires looking at her for more than just a moment and results in an unnecessarily high level of detail. > > Give me a break, please? > > Can someone simply outline exactly how I am supposed to behave, what I can think, and how I long (and at what) I amy look at a female of certain ages (perhaps a boundry) so we can dispense with all this nonsense? Perhaps you misunderstood my point. I was merely guessing at her definition of “leering,” since she did not define it. Personally, I do not think it should be illegal to stare at someone until your eyes bleed no matter how uncomfortable it makes them. To answer your question though, different people have different standards. Some people will feel uncomfortable if you glance at them even for a fraction of a second, and others will not mind if you look at them for a minute straight. It is up to you to decide how you want to act. Whatever you choose will undoubtedly offend some people (since some people are offended when you look at them and others are offended when you ignore them). There is no correct policy since every case is different. > [@](#): > > I don’t think that “everyone under 18 is a total moron”. Stupidity does not discriminate by age. I was simply making the suggestion that, in general, someone who is 14 would likely not understand the consequences of sex as well as someone of an older age, no matter the sexual experience of each. I was commenting on the proposed “sex test” mentioned earlier. My post about many people thinking that everyone under 18 is a total moron was not actually triggered by your post (and you were not in my mind when I was typing it). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/noticing-underage-girls/118661.md?page=6)