# Novel units of measure. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170 "2001-10-28T22:31:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/21 "2001-10-29T19:16:57Z")
Some surprise threads or comments might generate simply a rectillinear _ **twitched starfish** _ response. Those more risque may cause elicitation of the volatile _ **puckered starfish.** _ And the most revolting might even threaten with a catastrophic _ **elsa clenched starfish** _, often requiring medical assistance to release it’s chokehold. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/22 "2001-10-29T19:25:23Z")
Not trying to presume anything, but I’ve reformatted geepee’s post for Scribble’s (or any other confused person’s) benefit : > [@](#): > > \*(words) Originally posted by geepee \* > ‘Fingers and toes’-- from the film _The Last Boy Scout_: > > “I’d cut x number of fingers off it god would let me fuck her.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/23 "2001-10-29T19:52:20Z")
Paging **Crunchy Frog**! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/24 "2001-10-29T22:52:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*I like the **milliHelen** as a measure of Beauty. A milliHelen is a unit of beauty sufficient to launch one ship. Obviously invented by a technonerd familiar with the classics, or one forced to take a classics course to fulfill his distribution requirements. I wish I’d thought of it, > \*\* This was invented by Tom Weller in his hilarious book _Science Made Stupid_. (He also wrote the equally hilarious _Culture Made Stupid_.) ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/25 "2001-10-29T23:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > **I like the milliHelen as a measure of Beauty. A milliHelen is a unit of beauty sufficient to launch one ship. Obviously invented by a technonerd familiar with the classics, or one forced to take a classics course to fulfill his distribution requirements. I wish I’d thought of it,** 🙂 It used to be my sig. Plus check out my sig now. It miffs me to no end that no one has commented on it. Anyway one should be extremely careful not to confuse the Helen as a measure of beauty with the Helen as a measure of public acceptance of a given statement. This Helen ranges from 0 to 30. Although I’ve never seen a 0, but I also haven’t searched for it. 30 Helens is basically the god awful truth. (i.e. Honest is the best policy) 29 Helens can mean there is 1 wise-ass comment to be made about the statement. (i.e. not one from the show but my own; 29 Helens agree ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ but, says Helen Bathgate ‘Satisfaction brought it back.’) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/26 "2001-10-30T01:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > This was invented by Tom Weller in his hilarious book Science Made Stupid. (He also wrote the equally hilarious Culture Made Stupid.) I agree that Tom Weller’s books are wonderful, and it’s a crime that they’re out of print, but he joke about “milliHelens” \*long[/i predates his books. I hard about long befoe **Science Made Stupi** came ut. (Weller never, as far as I know,claimed to have invented it.) ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170/27 "2001-10-31T01:45:35Z")
_Science Made Stupid_ is out of print?! I’ll treasure my copy all the more, then. I think it’s a must-read for any college student majoring in any of the sciences or for bright high school students stuck with lousy science teachers. –Scribble. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novel-units-of-measure/90170.md?page=1)