# Novelize the Guy Stuff thread!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 20, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987 "2000-02-20T01:39:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/1 "2000-02-20T01:39:00Z")
Okay here’s a thought. The Guy stuff thread is the best damn thing I’ve read in a long time. Therefore I’m making this thread a petition to ask the Chicago Reader (or whomever makes the Straight Dope books) to put this thread into a nice convenient paperback. It would be the first of it’s kind! Plus I don’t want to have to tie up the phone line for hours every time I want to read that masterpiece. Who’s with me? Oh and by the way if everyone signs it purplebear might think me a leader and therefore worthy of her love. I love her y’know.
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### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/2 "2000-02-20T01:51:00Z")
Great idea, Ophanim!
Of course it’s a month and a half too late and been done before.
I originally made this suggestion and the effervescent (and sometimes absent) **falcon** has already begun this awesome task.
Ya see, this way me and her get to split the bonus and paperback rights. Universal is presently in a bidding war with Dreamworks for the movie rights.
## So just move it along… nothing to see here.
“Though I hate 'em, I’ll defend to my death your right to use smilies.”
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
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### Author:  [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/3 "2000-02-20T02:00:00Z")
Hey! I thought you were out defending my right to eat Cheez-It’s and bitch about democracy! Damn soldiers coming in here and bitching about my idiocy! Well, you can just… damn, y’know if I had a retort right now, you’d probably have a better one! So… MAN! Why couldn’t you you just go with it till purplebear and I shacked up? You Navy folk are mean! And I wished you Godspeed.
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
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### Author:  [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/4 "2000-02-20T02:02:00Z")
Oh, but good luck falcon! It better be real damned good!
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/5 "2000-02-20T02:06:00Z")
::covering eyes to avoid the carnage::
Smilies and an aspersion, all in one post. I can’t watch.
As I recall, our esteemed Falcon was going to do the novelization in an airport waiting room during a break. I did wonder at the time how such a saga could be adequately transformed to print in such a short period of time. And there was some shameless lobbying for preferred actors to portray certain posters when the inevitable movie offer came around.
Veb
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### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/6 "2000-02-20T02:18:00Z")
Ophanim and purplebear sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
First comes stalking, then a run for the border,
Here comes p-bear with a restraining order.
::ahem::
First of all, crunchy TP for brains, there were no fuckin’ soldiers who responded to you! \*\*(POST EDITED BY Nickrz)\*\*uckin’ smilies!!!
Asshole!!
* * *
“Though I hate 'em, I’ll defend to my death your right to use smilies.”
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/7 "2000-02-20T03:06:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by ChiefScott:
> **I originally made this suggestion and the effervescent (and sometimes absent) falcon has already begun this awesome task.**
EXCUSE ME??? Effervescent??
And yes, in between work, exercise, looking for a new job, trying not to kill the roomie, and writing my OTHER 4 short stories and novels (no, I’m not kidding on that.), I am working on it. When it’s done (or as done as it can get), it’ll go up on my site and I’ll post a link.
Sound good to all??
* * *
“You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!”
- Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan.
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### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/8 "2000-02-20T03:11:00Z")
The bubbly bird chirps in!!
* * *
“Though I hate 'em, I’ll defend to my death your right to use smilies.”
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
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### Author:  [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/9 "2000-02-20T03:15:00Z")
Am glad to hear it’s still on the burner, Falc.
And am hoping for an extry percentage as the originator of the- Ahem- Moose Schlong.
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### Author:  [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/10 "2000-02-20T04:02:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The Guy stuff thread is the best damn thing I’ve read in a long time.
I am mystified. I read the first page and decided I wouldn’t read a thousand more posts of guys belching & scratching themselves. If that thread doesn’t reinforce an unfortunate gender-related stereotype, I don’t know what does.
I’d also like to know why the floor is so sticky in that thread.
* * *
Fudge greenies & blue mashed potatoes go with everything!
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### Author:  [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/11 "2000-02-20T04:09:00Z")
Cheif, you seem a very hate-filled man… and that’s why I love you sooo much! But not in a gay way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just so purplebear doesn’t get the wrong idea y’know. By the way I’M NOT STALKING HER!!! I’m partaking in a recreational pursuit, I’m just an over acheiver. And just to piss people off… 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/12 "2000-02-20T04:25:00Z")
\
Oh, my! Such language!!! Am very glad to hear that you’re not stalking me, however. Shacking Up??? Way too soon for that, buddy.
We shall just have to wait and see. And Chief, really, so childish of you. That’s the kind of thing my daughter says… except for the restraining order bit. As to that, we’ll see if dear Ophanim tries anything first. Hmmmmmmm???
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### Author:  [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/13 "2000-02-20T04:30:00Z")
I wont try anything unless you want me want me to. And you’re right, “shacking up” was crass of me! I’m sorry.
* * *
Kisses!
}\>\<(((^\>\<^)))\>\<{
Ophy
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/14 "2000-02-20T04:33:00Z")
Oops! It deleted some of the text again! What am I doing wrong here??? I started that with… Blushing furiously, Purplebear sneaks in from the side to check out this thread, finds her name again. And I ended it with… Blushing even more, Purplebear tries to sneak out the side without getting caught.
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/15 "2000-02-20T04:40:00Z")
Just so we’re clear on this. That’s okay, I forgive you. Let’s start with being friends first, okay? One step at a time… And, remember, I am a lady. I ‘shack up’ with no one. 🙂 🙂 🙂 😉
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### Author:  [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/16 "2000-02-20T04:51:00Z")
Oph & Purp: Get a room, sweeties, fore Chief has a break…
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/17 "2000-02-20T04:54:00Z")
Now to comment on this thread: I would like to see this book/novel on completion. It might actually give me some insights into the workings of the ‘male mind’ as it were. I mean, how deep can that be?? Sorry, all you guys out there.No offense meant, especially to Vestal Blue and Ophanim 🙂 🙂
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/18 "2000-02-20T04:54:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by elelle:
> **And am hoping for an extry percentage as the originator of the- Ahem- Moose Schlong.**
El…we’ll discuss your percentage at Springfield. _grin_
And sheesh…bubbly bird, sassy bird…I’m racking up the nicknames here!
* * *
“You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!”
- Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan.
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### Author:  [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novelize-the-guy-stuff-thread/13987/19 "2000-02-20T05:33:00Z")
Oh, man, my percentage is gonna be decided by a late night arm wrestling match…
Again._sigh_