# Novembrants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304 "2014-11-01T21:59:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/101 "2014-11-05T23:58:52Z")
> [@Sodalite](#): > > I don’t think you’re being extreme at all. To me, this treatment is cruel and borderline abusive. This kid was an accident. Now she’s married to some other guy who gave the kid his last name so I guess that means he’s adopted her as his own. I guess that also means that he’s okay with this…tradition or whatever the hell you call it. > > Thank you guys for helping me make sure that I’m not the weird one in this situation. I admit, sometimes it is me. I didn’t spend a lot of time around people as a kid so some things that other families or people did seemed crazy to me even though they were the accepted norm. I was half afraid when I posted this that I’d get all kinds of, “Of course this is normal. What planet were you raised on?” type answers. It IS abusive; it’s called mental cruelty, and probably warrants a visit by child services. I’d report their asses. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/102 "2014-11-06T00:08:48Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I’m reporting them like crazy, to no avail. Ah. I guess emailing a mod would be the next step. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/103 "2014-11-06T00:38:20Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > The TP here at work sucks – it leaves little tiny bits of itself in and around my bits, like miniature spitwads lodged in my hoo-hah. > > (Stop laughing! I can hear you all laughing!) I’m not laughing, because my workplace uses the same TP. “Spitwad” is an accurate description…I had a tiny one get stuck once, and it was absolute hell removing it once it had dried. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/104 "2014-11-06T03:05:27Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > > > Now I kinda wanna know which thread she meant! > > > > The TP here at work sucks – it leaves little tiny bits of itself in and around my bits, like miniature spitwads lodged in my hoo-hah. > > > > (Stop laughing! I can hear you all laughing!) > > I’m not laughing, because my workplace uses the same TP. “Spitwad” is an accurate description…I had a tiny one get stuck once, and it was absolute hell removing it once it had dried. There are \*reasons \*I take Tucks (or equivalent generic) wipes with me wherever I go. This is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/105 "2014-11-06T03:27:52Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > (non-USAdians may ignore: ) > > Oh, FFS. Now I’m getting e-mail advertisements for Black Friday. It’s three weeks away! All the damn campaign ads are finally over; could we not have _one_ week’s peace from marketing harassment? If only the parenthesis was true. I think it’s not right, getting “black friday” sales without the accompanying mound of turkey! And of course, except for a few weirdos like me, nobody has the fuckingest why the sale is called “black friday”. An informal poll taken last year (first time I saw BF sales in Europe, and I say in Europe because I saw them in several countries) indicated that people, if pressed, thought it might be that linked to the Wall Street Crash of '29 (nope, that was on a Thursday). ---
**Author:** ![Sodalite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@Sodalite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sodalite)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/106 "2014-11-06T05:06:26Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > It IS abusive; it’s called mental cruelty, and probably warrants a visit by child services. I’d report their asses. I’m discussing this whole mess with some other people that know her. I think someone on better terms with her than me will be nominated to attempt an intervention of a sort. This woman is…she has _serious issues._ She reacts to criticism of any kind like [potassium reacts to water.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy1DC6Euqj4) I think an anonymous tip to child services would do even more damage than a direct confrontation. The paranoia would go into overdrive and she would lash out at anybody she suspected. That would be everybody, including the child. Having one person talk to her at least gives her rage focus. We want to help without making things worse in the process. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/107 "2014-11-06T05:25:17Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Now I kinda wanna know which thread she meant! > > The TP here at work sucks – it leaves little tiny bits of itself in and around my bits, like miniature spitwads lodged in my hoo-hah. > > (Stop laughing! I can hear you all laughing!) I’m not laughing, I promise! I hate cheap toilet paper. I doubt that it really saves any money, because you have to use more of it, and what’s the point of toilet paper that rips into shreds when you try to use it? I also hate toilet paper dispensers that only let you take one square at a time, and to get more you have to sit there with your pants down and paw at the damn thing like a rat in a cage desperately pushing a lever to get one more piece of rat chow. And don’t even get me started on toilet paper dispensers that are hard to reach when you’re sitting on the toilet. Way up high, down too low–you have to be a contortionist to get any TP. All of this reminds me of one memorable bathroom where you actually had to get up off the toilet to get to the toilet paper, which was on the other side of the stall (it was a big stall, and it took several steps to get to the toilet paper). Was it designed by a person who never has to use toilet paper? Come on, people, life is short–just let me have some decent toilet paper and put it where I can reach it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/108 "2014-11-06T06:56:34Z")
_Don’t poop in our building. We don’t think that’s too much to ask._ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/109 "2014-11-06T16:28:32Z")
Or pee. Or be on your period. Just do not excrete, you filthy peon! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/110 "2014-11-06T16:56:32Z")
We have the John Wayne-style TP here. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/111 "2014-11-06T23:26:24Z")
Is there anything more annoying than when you try to apologize as sincerely as you can to someone, and they counter back with, “You don’t _sound_ sorry!” ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/112 "2014-11-07T03:34:47Z")
That’s because you didn’t fall on your knees, crying, rending your garments and pulling your hair out. You just don’t know how to do it right. We’ve been trying to teach our new dog to fetch cats. As it turns out, she is terrified of cats. She will fetch balls, she will fetch jackets, she will even fetch toys we toss in the pool (which is an upgrade from our other dog, who is terrified of water), but she refuses to get close to any of our cats. I’m not being mean to our cats, but it sure is handy to be able to tell the closest dog…go get Lucky and have her drop a drool covered but otherwise unharmed cat at our feet. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/113 "2014-11-07T06:35:10Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > It IS abusive; it’s called mental cruelty, and probably warrants a visit by child services. I’d report their asses. With all due respect, it IS abusive, it IS mental cruelty, but in my experience child services does not give a flying fuck about shit like that. My mother once threatened to shoot me when there was an actual gun in the house (as in, ‘‘I will go get the gun and shoot you’’), and when my (also abusive stepfather - long story) called protective services they basically told him that there would have to be multiple police reports filed before they would even consider doing anything. It sounds outrageous until you sift through the X-rays of children with multiple fractures, and read stories about disabled children who starved to death in 100 degree rooms with maggot-ridden bedsores. Child protection is very much a triage system. [/child welfare rant redacted] ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/114 "2014-11-07T16:56:35Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > … just let me have some decent toilet paper and put it where I can reach it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > _Don’t poop in our building. We don’t think that’s too much to ask._ Thanks for the LOL. 🙂 (And sympathy. As with so many things in life, I thought I was the only one, and it’s nice to know I’m not alone!) > [@EmilyG](#): > > Is there anything more annoying than when you try to apologize as sincerely as you can to someone, and they counter back with, “You don’t _sound_ sorry!” This is acceptable from a three-year-old. Otherwise? Bah. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/115 "2014-11-07T20:58:17Z")
Coming back to get far less mini now. I gotta let this out somewhere, and since sitting at my desk in a wide-open floor plan call center trying not to cry isn’t ideal, it will go here instead. My cell and my boyfriend’s cell have now both been shut off. Tonight, my power will be the next to go, which means losing heat, light, cooking, food storage, and _gasp_ Internet. There’s nothing I can do about any of it until I get paid at the end of next week. I got hit with a bunch of unexpected expenses, mostly one-offs but the pileup got ahead of my one-hair-above-paycheck-to-paycheck existence, and the employment gods have not been kind to my boyfriend (New Guy to some of you 'round here) recently, although he and I are in touch with someone who can get in a good word for him at a job that’s both better-paying and closer than the last one. So there’s a little ray of hope there … one that will really hurt if it gets crushed. I made sure he has my work phone number so New Guy can at least be reached via me if/when this pans out. The employment gods have been similarly unkind to my close friend, come to think of it, so I’ll just go ahead and stick this little rant in here on her behalf. She’s been trying hard for so long and it’s difficult to watch how defeated she’s starting to feel. Back to meme_meee_. Everything in my apt. is electric, including the heat and hot water (as I so thoroughly and uncomfortably discovered shortly after moving in last winter, when an ice storm shut down the whole city for days) so besides candles there’s no source of heat or light. The weather is lovely for now but we’re supposed to get a cold snap in the middle of next week; while I have warm socks and a thick-ass comforter, New Guy seems to have an internal wood-burning fireplace, and my remaining kitty Nikki (SmallDumbCat to some of you 'round here) has a thick coat of lush fur, I’m worried about how I’ll keep my gorgeous little ball python warm enough to stay alive, let alone healthy. This, too, shall pass. But in the meantime, it really kinda sucks! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/116 "2014-11-07T21:02:06Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m worried about how I’ll keep my gorgeous little ball python warm enough to stay alive, let alone healthy. I’m so sorry. Do you have any friends that you might be able to ask to take her for a few days? Maybe call a shelter and explain that the power is going off for a few days and you are worried about her, and ask if there is anything they can do to help? They may know a snake foster family or something. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/117 "2014-11-07T21:02:19Z")
I stopped at the store today and there were a couple of ladies sitting in the wind selling poppies. I don’t usually carry cash, but I had a dollar, so I gave it to the one who wasn’t busy trying to ignore some jerk ranting to her about where the country is headed. Like she could do anything about it, poor lady. She handed me two poppies and I tried to give one back because I had only given her a dollar. She told me to take them both because I was the first one that day who had given them money instead of just talking a poppy and walking away. :mad::eek::mad::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/118 "2014-11-07T21:51:30Z")
You mean the VFW/American Legion-type poppies? I didn’t think you could get one unless you gave something. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/119 "2014-11-07T22:58:30Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > You mean the VFW/American Legion-type poppies? I didn’t think you could get one unless you gave something. That’s what I always thought. Pay a dollar for a 5 cent flower and you get to feel good about helping. I guess not, from what the nice lady told me, they are donations and not mandatory. I have no idea why anyone would want a free poppy. purplehorseshoe I am so sorry this is happening to you. My suggestion is to call the local cat rescue places and find out if they would lend you some [micro-wave heating pads](http://www.amazon.com/The-Original-MyWarmPet-Heatpad-Microwavable/dp/B009P93TWI). You can heat them up at work at the end of the day and bring them home. They last for up to 8 hours if they are wrapped in towels, so hopefully that will keep your snake warm enough to deal with the cold nights. Also, I looked around and found a couple of resources online for people who are too poor to keep their power on. [Here’s one](http://www.americanhoperesources.com/splash/?type=b&keyword=money%20problem&group=Financial_Help_Search_AdGroup_Financial_Need&gclid=CNTIj8XJ6cECFUiGfgodmZoAiQ). I know that you don’t want to take financial aid, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and ask for help. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304/120 "2014-11-07T23:21:39Z")
PS If you have the gas to get there, the library has free internet and free wifi. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/novembrants/703304.md?page=7)