# Now here is a headline I never thought I'd see **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 26, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599 "2007-03-26T20:17:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/1 "2007-03-26T20:17:49Z")
From the on-line version of The Dallas Morning News: [Monkey owner says sex tape allegation false](http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/032707dnmetplanomonkey.25c130e.html). I don’t know what to say, really. I guess it would be refreshing if someone owned up to something like this. > [@](#): > > **“I screwed the pooch. Literally.” Says area man** Anyone have any other funny headlines to share? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/2 "2007-03-26T20:47:19Z")
Plano, Texas school board – and a monkey named Darwin. Naw, too easy. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/3 "2007-03-26T21:11:42Z")
I’m hoping Bobby Crawford will release his monkey love tapes as podcasts. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/4 "2007-03-26T21:20:07Z")
I saw one once that went a-little something like _this_, “Ice Cream truck drivers arrested in knife-fight over turf battle”. Funniest part was thier names. Each was about 32 letters long with maybe 10 vowels between them. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/5 "2007-03-26T21:28:31Z")
Here’s one in today’s Denver Post: **Source: Anaheim to grab DU’s Dingle** **[Source: Anaheim to grab DU junior – The Denver Post](http://www.denverpost.com/colleges/ci_5520800)** ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/6 "2007-03-26T21:48:10Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I’m hoping Bobby Crawford will release his monkey love tapes as podcasts. [/QUOTE] As long as he was not spanking it. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/7 "2007-03-26T22:59:31Z")
Your choice – you can have [Young Boys’ Wankdorf erection woe](http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=270580&cc=5901) or [Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief](http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=337901&cc=5901). ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/now-here-is-a-headline-i-never-thought-id-see/397599/8 "2007-03-28T16:34:25Z")
New Zealand cricket headline - **Papps smears ND’s hopes.** [http://www.spareroom.co.nz/2007/03/28/gynaecological-cricket-headlines/](http://www.spareroom.co.nz/2007/03/28/gynaecological-cricket-headlines/)